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Left my boyfriend - Support?

L

LoveToBake

Former member
Hey everyone,

So, as some of you know, I had a boyfriend with mental health problems himself.

There was a lot of problems with him and his online friends, including people online taking money from him and my boyfriend became very depressed at one point because of these people online. They affect his mood.

When I was his girlfriend, it was all real life, it affected our relationship because he'd ask me to leave so that he could make-up with his online friend, he was constantly telling me, he likes his friend, he hates him, he likes him, he hates him and I'm like, if these people are hurting you emotionally, let them go, they just online.
But to my boyfriend, these people are not just online, they are friends, best friends, they mean the world to him.

I started to get the jist that they are a priority to him, at Christmas we almost split because he preferred his online friends over me.

When my boyfriend was upset because of the online friends, he wouldn't message me, he wouldn't call me and days later I'd have to go round to the house to see him.
A few months ago, I saw a message from his online friend, he has suicidal tenancies and was begging my boyfriend to talk to him and as an ex-student-psychaitric nurse an an ex-psychiatric nursing assistant, I thought, that was very unusual and emotionally intense behaviour but at the same time, I don't want my boyfriend to feel responsible if this guy hurts himself, he needs to go to a hospital, not begging for my boyfriend online. I found it disturbing. This guy also took money from my boyfriend and every month around £100 was being given away to online friends.

As far as I'm aware, my boyfriend stopped giving away money and things online and hopefully his bank card after I said, this guy has a job, why does he need you to buy him things?

Anyway, my boyfriend is vulnerable and trusts people online so when I express my concerns, it drove into an argument. My boyfriend defends these people, telling me that "they're not like that any more".

So when my boyfriend told me that in June, he is travelling to the US, to a rough district of a city to live with his online friend for one month and play games, I think that was the limit. He didn't discuss it with me by the way.

I can't take any more of the online friend thing. I can't protect him and it affects our relationship. My boyfriend said that he would keep in contact with me, but I know what he is like, when he is talking to his online friend or playing games with them, he ignores me.
I couldn't take any more. Especially if his online friend is being manipulative. I can't deal with it. His online friend has emotional instability problems and has difficulties with intense relationships.
I cannot care for my boyfriend any more when he is depressed because of his online friend. I cannot take any more ignorance from him because he is too busy with his online friend. I can't take hearing about the financial abuse any more.

I am done.
I ended with him. I can't take it any more.
Obviously my boyfriend needs to get his priorities straight, if he can go to the US for a month, he can get a job. He has not worked a day in his life and he is almost 20. He could be doing a summer school qualification because he failed his English.
He could go on holiday but to somewhere fun and educational, not sat in a flat playing games for a month.
I know he loved me and I know he is really upset about the break up but I am moving on with my life and my boyfriend isn't because he's too busy with these people online and he needs to get his priorities straight.

I feel upset, I feel very emotional, I have a bit of anger, I am just reaching out for support through this situation.

If anyone has any stories to do with online addiction or online friends, good or bad, please share. I have never met anyone else in my situation or going through what I am.

Thanks,

Unicorns x
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

Well-known member
Staff member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
8,229
Location
Teesside
Hi unicorns
Online life can get very intense and sometimes can feel better than living in the real world.
I'm sad to hear your boyfriend got used.
He seems like he really cares for this friend as he understands him. I'm sorry you got caught up in the middle of it.
You needed to do what was best for you, you need to look after your mental health.
Hugs
Fox
 
L

LoveToBake

Former member
Hi unicorns
Online life can get very intense and sometimes can feel better than living in the real world.
I'm sad to hear your boyfriend got used.
He seems like he really cares for this friend as he understands him. I'm sorry you got caught up in the middle of it.
You needed to do what was best for you, you need to look after your mental health.
Hugs
Fox

Thank you for the support, I appreciate it. :)
And I know, I need to look after myself.
 
N

naominash

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 26, 2016
Messages
2,606
Location
North Carolina
You did the right thing.

You can try to help people but sometimes they don't want it. They have to learn the hard way, if at all, no matter how much you care.

Edit: plus, you deserve someone going in a positive direction
 
L

LoveToBake

Former member
You did the right thing.

You can try to help people but sometimes they don't want it. They have to learn the hard way, if at all, no matter how much you care.

Edit: plus, you deserve someone going in a positive direction

Thanks for your support, it is much appreciated. :)
 

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