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Leaving residential care - or not

Acorn

Acorn

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So I’ve been in residential care for over 4 years now. I agreed to come in for 12 weeks respite back in 2015 but I’m still here. I had a placement review yesterday and thought I was leaving but have been told once again that isn’t possible as I just wouldn’t cope in the community.

I feel more than ready to leave. I find endings hard as I have attachment issues and issues with change so mevwanting to move on is a huge thing. The thing is I’m getting frustrated with the placement and staff which is making the decision to leave easier but care coordinator says I’m making an emotional decision that isn’t thought through. The reason why I’m getting frustrated is I no longer require this level of care and am finding the routine and restrictions difficult to deal with. I want to enter education get a volunteer job go out with friends not attend groups be in at set times for medication/ meetings/curfew/therapy.

Yes there are issues. My bmi has dropped low again because of food stuff and my hygiene isn’t great bc of trauma associations and although my last self harm was December it did require 3 operations and a 10 day physical hospital stay so those are the arguments for keeping me here.

I will always be high risk. So are they just going to keep me going between residential and hospital forever? I have to take positive risks at some point.
 
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ramboghettouk

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community care involves been left without suppport case closed it's all or nothing
 
Acorn

Acorn

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community care involves been left without suppport case closed it's all or nothing
That might be your experience but isn’t mine in the community I had a cpn once a week therapy twice a week and support worker twice a week. I realise it’s a post code lottery and it depends on area what’s available
 
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ramboghettouk

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how many years ago was that?
 
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ramboghettouk

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i don't know which is shittier the sort of place your in or the community, i'm old enough to remember the start of care in the community the whole language was so different then
 
Tawny

Tawny

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I agree with ramboghettouk, as out here you will soon be thought recovered and ready for work. Stay there and try and get more freedom and take courses, whatever you can, but pretend that is your flat in a block or something. Out here, pressure coming from everywhere, it is hard work and one bit of stress like a benefit form might send you over the edge. The community staff can be just as unpleasant as hospital staff. You might get neighbours that are aggressive or play very loud music. It is a big decision so make sure you are completely ready. Moving out in the summer might be easier than winter. You could set yourself a time where you will consider it like May next year.

Ordinarily i would say get out, but what i am going through with benefits and life stress, lack of support, or support that is detrimental to my recovery, makes me thing you are better off there for another year at least. It really is all or nothing.

Get details of a package ofsupport if you leave and where you would live, how long for etc get prepared.
 
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ramboghettouk

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my ex she let her parrot fly out the window, and i said it won't survive a british winter, to me that sums it up

either the cmhc or her have closed her case, i suspect they've encouraged her, she's having benefit problems, last year her cpn was off sick so she went to a pip interview alone, they stopped it, it also stopped the extra benefits you get, and she doesn't know what benefits she's on it may have trigerred a universal credit claim

it took 9 months before an appeal, she knows every food bank and free meal place in the area

she's now taken out a loan for a new cooker they're taking out of benefits, the alkys in the area are poncing off her

last i heard she was on a community treatment order maybe it's lapsed, when she refused to go to a injection i remember the police smashed in her front door
 
Acorn

Acorn

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I agree with ramboghettouk, as out here you will soon be thought recovered and ready for work. Stay there and try and get more freedom and take courses, whatever you can, but pretend that is your flat in a block or something. Out here, pressure coming from everywhere, it is hard work and one bit of stress like a benefit form might send you over the edge. The community staff can be just as unpleasant as hospital staff. You might get neighbours that are aggressive or play very loud music. It is a big decision so make sure you are completely ready. Moving out in the summer might be easier than winter. You could set yourself a time where you will consider it like May next year.

Ordinarily i would say get out, but what i am going through with benefits and life stress, lack of support, or support that is detrimental to my recovery, makes me thing you are better off there for another year at least. It really is all or nothing.

Get details of a package ofsupport if you leave and where you would live, how long for etc get prepared.
my ex she let her parrot fly out the window, and i said it won't survive a british winter, to me that sums it up

either the cmhc or her have closed her case, i suspect they've encouraged her, she's having benefit problems, last year her cpn was off sick so she went to a pip interview alone, they stopped it, it also stopped the extra benefits you get, and she doesn't know what benefits she's on it may have trigerred a universal credit claim

it took 9 months before an appeal, she knows every food bank and free meal place in the area

she's now taken out a loan for a new cooker they're taking out of benefits, the alkys in the area are poncing off her

last i heard she was on a community treatment order maybe it's lapsed, when she refused to go to a injection i remember the police smashed in her front door
Thank you both for your thoughts. I think this is what my care co is worried about-that there won’t be the support I need and they might not get funding again for residential as it’s getting harder.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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That is true i would think, that once you leave, you probably won't get another bed ever again. Maybe in 20 years things will be different again, and more hospitals opened for long stays, but right now it is a big risk you are taking. It could go very well and independence is wonderful, better for you than being in there in many ways, but the risk to your life is not worth it right now.

You are between a rock and a hard place, my grandma would say. Out of the frying pan and in to the fire is another saying, more fitting! On the outside, improvements are being made in mental health care, but they are only just starting to make improvements. There seems to be a very clear dividing line between mental illness and mental health. I think dementia and similar older adult illness are taking a lot of focus at the moment, children too, so us in between have been put to one side for now.

The news talks much about using psychology graduates, people who just have a psychology degree, becoming care coordinators for people with mental health problems. Because we have so many psychiatrist and nurse vacancies, nurses especially are in very short supply, the head of my mental health services is planning to give more work to less skilled professionals. You might end up with a care coordinator who is 22 and fresh out of university. They could help you far more than any nurse or psychiatrist but it could also go horribly wrong.

I think when you leave, you might have to be prepared to go it alone and do a bit of work even. If you could rent a room in a house eventually, somewhere cheap, get an easy part time job in walking distance, that is the sort of thing i can see most of us having to do. I'm maybe looking on the pessimistic side but i am in a flat and my ESA is coming up for review next month. If i don't get support group, i have to sign up for universal credit and say i am fit for work. If i don,t. i won't get any housing benefit. I will have to move out. Where? My furniture? I cannot work i don't feel. It is so brutal, all or nothing, is how it feels.
 
Acorn

Acorn

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England
That is true i would think, that once you leave, you probably won't get another bed ever again. Maybe in 20 years things will be different again, and more hospitals opened for long stays, but right now it is a big risk you are taking. It could go very well and independence is wonderful, better for you than being in there in many ways, but the risk to your life is not worth it right now.

You are between a rock and a hard place, my grandma would say. Out of the frying pan and in to the fire is another saying, more fitting! On the outside, improvements are being made in mental health care, but they are only just starting to make improvements. There seems to be a very clear dividing line between mental illness and mental health. I think dementia and similar older adult illness are taking a lot of focus at the moment, children too, so us in between have been put to one side for now.

The news talks much about using psychology graduates, people who just have a psychology degree, becoming care coordinators for people with mental health problems. Because we have so many psychiatrist and nurse vacancies, nurses especially are in very short supply, the head of my mental health services is planning to give more work to less skilled professionals. You might end up with a care coordinator who is 22 and fresh out of university. They could help you far more than any nurse or psychiatrist but it could also go horribly wrong.

I think when you leave, you might have to be prepared to go it alone and do a bit of work even. If you could rent a room in a house eventually, somewhere cheap, get an easy part time job in walking distance, that is the sort of thing i can see most of us having to do. I'm maybe looking on the pessimistic side but i am in a flat and my ESA is coming up for review next month. If i don't get support group, i have to sign up for universal credit and say i am fit for work. If i don,t. i won't get any housing benefit. I will have to move out. Where? My furniture? I cannot work i don't feel. It is so brutal, all or nothing, is how it feels.
I’m sorry you’re in that situation. I’m sure all the added stress of the unknown isn’t helping your mental health.

Using psychology graduates instead of cpns and social workers as care co ordinates sounds like a really bad idea. Unless they are given specific in-depth additional training. I know there aren’t enough but that means recruiting more and making the career more appealing not running down the role!

I agree I’m between a rock and a hard place but I’m going to stay put for now.

I have an agreement with the manager of the care home to try to get more independence
 
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ramboghettouk

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i think it's goverment policy now to dismantle welfare and persecute those living independently who'll have the choice between work or moving into some kind of care, give it a few years
 
Acorn

Acorn

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England
i think it's goverment policy now to dismantle welfare and persecute those living independently who'll have the choice between work or moving into some kind of care, give it a few years
That is a both a very distressing and also likely possibility
 
Acorn

Acorn

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England
Wondering if maybe i am better off here...
 
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