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Learning its ok to have emotions

megirl

megirl

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I still forget at times that its actually ok to feel. That sometimes its ok to be angry or upset.
Sometimes i over rationalise and say no im a bad person for being angry. So i used to keep it all contained inside.
Ive been so much better these days.
I used to drink so i could actually 'feel' and make sence of it however all these emotions became too painful and i would get overwhelmed,which ended up with me over-dosing.
Ive learned actually i have every reason to be pissed off,its just what i do about it.
Saw my psychologist the other day and told her i was angry in front of the dog despite that he kept wanting pats,then i told her what a terrible person i am for having my outburst.
Oops i got told off. I had a couple of things that pissed me off the other day,etc.
Shes like yeh id be pissed off too.
I'm feeling a bit numb and feel like I need to get it out.
I really need a good cry my subconscious is rationalising,no. You're ok.
My dads been gone now 10 years in a couple of days and it still hurts like its yesterday,
I might go and visit his grave tomorrow. I dont normally but might be nice to go and talk to him
 
G

Girl interupted

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That sounds like a wonderful breakthrough! I’m happy for you. It IS absolutely ok to feel.
 
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Sara84

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Maybe going to your dads grave is the catalyst you need to be able to let your emotions out?
 
Flameheart

Flameheart

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I hate that anger is made out as an unacceptable emotion to have even if you've been pushed to that limit, it's just total bullshit
 
megirl

megirl

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Yes that's what this psychiatrist worked through with me.
As a child I wasn't allowed to be upset or angry I would take the hatred and anger out on myself,believing I'm an evil person.
I had every reason to be angry, being physically&emotionally abused,
My psychologist, after telling her some of this stuff, was like 'I feel angry hearing about this treatment'
Acknowledging the emotions was hard because I thought 'shit shes going to think I'm this nasty person all the time.
I used to over rationalise, all the time.
My support worker comes with me to these sessions,I think after 10minutes of the first session I would have stormed out never to see her again but because he was there I stuck it out.
She actually got one step ahead of me as I told her I journal,she requested to read them so I gave them to her.
All in all shes been great.
I didn't think so a few times
 
daffy

daffy

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It’s perfectly normal to have emotions everyone had ups and downs. And that’s healthy. What’s unhealthy if being doped up with no emotions. We weren’t allowed to show emotions as children. Just had to be perfect. Never get dirty and that knocked me up in adult life cos I didn’t know how to show emotion. And whenever I did raise my voice or express an opinion that differed I was told your sick you need to be in hospital. and hey ho the doctor was called and I was taken away. Always my fault always deserved
 
megirl

megirl

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Yeh I got all agitated on Sunday, I had this lady I worked with about 20 years ago didn't really like her back then. She came and asked all these personal questions which was the totally bad timing for me.
I was all shaky and agitated and wanted a drink when I got home.
Saw the psychologist the day after told her I was still edgy like I want to scream at someone.
She was concerned as I was shutting down again,and over rationalising, it was healthy to have a vent I came home and swore and got it out.
She was like that's why you're feeling like that you need to get it out.
I could of just walked away from this lady but I was in company, now looking back I could have done that!!
 
Flameheart

Flameheart

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I wasn't allowed to be too happy, sad or anything as it annoyed my parents either way, I grew up just completely emotionless until it all got too much and now I'm an emotional wreck, it's like all those suppressed feelings now are catching up on me
 
daffy

daffy

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I wasn't allowed to be too happy, sad or anything as it annoyed my parents either way, I grew up just completely emotionless until it all got too much and now I'm an emotional wreck, it's like all those suppressed feelings now are catching up on me
Know that feeling only too well. Get therapy for it if you can
 
megirl

megirl

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Great when you're that distressed,anxious,overwhelmed can't function at all to have meds to get to a level of coping, eventually we all need to get it out,
Ive been more of the medical model, medication will help, well i t gave me my life back, now down the track its healthy to learn that feeling these emotions is absolutely therapeutic in itself.
When I first met this psychologist I was yeh,yeh whatever, so what now just chuck all the meds down the sink see what happens,
Maybe not quite lol
I felt like saying talk to my psychiatrist see what she recommends,
I'm fortunate that shes employed by the hospital so I dont have to pay to see her
Yes in a year she can't believe where I'm at.
Will is pretty good to hear
 
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