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Learned the hard way to not care what others think you..


silly me

I was in a 12 step program called Al-anon, and Co-dependents Anonymous, for relationship problems.

Well.. One day i was on the phone telling my Brazilian sponsor, who adopted me as her daughter, how i hated being judged, backstabbed, gossiped and talked about by others.

My sponsor (adopted mother) was old-school.. She said:

Are you willing to do whatever i say to get better?

Me: "Yep"

And she knew this because i did not hesitate when it came to my recovery. I also lived right around the corner from the beach.:rolleyes:

So she said:

"Okay.. i want you to go down to the beach, stand in front of the ocean, and yell at all of the fish to stop swimming!

I want you to yell to the tide to stop coming in! And see where that gets ya!"

I thought she was finished talking, said okay! hung up the phone, jumped into my car, and drove off to the beach.


silly me


I stood there, kind of embarrassed, but willing to do whatever she said, and started yelling repeatedly, like a damn fool for the fish to stop swimming and the tide to stop coming in.

People thought i was in trouble, and a few men came running to my aide. They stopped short, when they realized there was no one there bothering me.:unsure:

Some of them just turned to the others and gave the "she's crazy" hand gesture to the crowds that were gathering, that basically my "cheese slid off my damn cracker."

After about 20 minutes of this, people soon, lost interest, and walked away.. I felt a lot better after all that yelling..

I went back to my car, drovehome, and called her up..

I told i felt better, and that i learned that the fish did not stop swimming, and the tide did not stop coming in..

My sponsor, was silent for about 30 seconds when she said:

"Babe, i was just giving you an example of futility! I didn't want you to LITERALLY go to the beach and do that. You hung up the phone before i finished!!

Needless to say, i learned a lot from that experience. :cry:
Last edited by a moderator:


Well-known member
Mar 13, 2018
Central Florida
So it wasn't a silly nor a crazy thing to do at all, was it?

Good on you. Lesson learned. Sometimes you actually have to put in the work, no matter how silly or crazy it seems. ;)


I'm glad you don't care what people think of you. You're a good person anyway Silly Me. :hug:


Active member
Apr 22, 2017
No matter what you do people are gonna talk. We are powerless over people, alcohol etc fill in the blank.We can put our problem in the hands of our higher power, He can handle it. We. can't control our loved ones and strangers in the world but we can make decisions for ourselves with the help of our friends, family and our higher power. I love CODA and Alanon as well.