R
rampage
New member
- Joined
- Jan 21, 2009
- Messages
- 2
i figure this will be the place to ask you guys would now and could offer some advice theres more to my question than asking you guys if im lazy so please read on
im 19 i have no ambitions what so ever im currently at college i have had 3 jobs i have never liked any of them and the longest i have lasted was 6 months i dont want to work or go to college the only reason i do is to please my mother am not really a social person i dont go out at all i have 2 friends one i would say really close to but i have known them sinse i was 4 years old went through primary school and highschool with them so basically in the whole 19 years iv been on this planet i have made 2 real friends others come and go but there never really real friends more assosiates from work or college
a few months ago my mum was forcing me to go out and look for work i found a college course instead i also got one of my friends into it iv been at the course for about 3 months and when they went through the attendense rate mine was 84 % and less now im not a people person i dont like new people or large groups of people i only feel comfortable outside when im with one of my two friends or both of them the current college course has been bareable because my friend has been there with me but now he has a job and im finding myself not wanting to return to course
its not that im not interesting in stuff but my interests usually dimishes after a few days i have tried learning french i actually enjoyed but after 3 days i got bored and gave up i did the same with computer programming , creating graphics theres alot more things i even tried writing a book once gave up on that after a day aswell
i also notice sometimes i have odd thoughts like sometimes when im travelling to college on the bus i start to think what if someone can hear what im thinking i tell myself its stupid but i still still to blank my thoughts just incase even though i no its dumb i also tell lots of made up stories for no reason sometimes i watch movies like fight club or war movie and ill think i want to be like that i crave it i really do wish i could be like the guys in the movies i watch and alot a times i get myself into trouble for doing stupid things and sometimes when im in college i feel that people say stuff in a sly way towards me in other words they say it with dual meaning hard to explain people often laugh because i have this jacket they say im like kenny from southpark because i never take it off and to be honest i dont the only place my jacket comes off is in my house speaking of house i wont eat in any other house apart from my own i dont know why i dont feel like the houses are dirty or that and i dont have a phobia about eating infront of other people
i also surf the net a little too much aswell one of my favorite tv shows is about demon hunters and after ever episode i find my self searching the net looking for real demon hunter i know its silly but i do it anyway because i have this slight hope my life was ment for something bigger
i feel like my life is going nowhere as if im just going round in circles everyone else seems to have everything sorted out where is im still doing nothing with my life i mean if it was upto me i stay in my mums house and daydream for ever but i know i cant do this forever and that worries me
i dont think i could survive on my own i dont even know my own bank pin number my mum does this for me she cooks for me she cleans for me she buys my cloths which i think is very unusual for someone my age im really dependent on my mother
i dont know if im just depressed and lazy or if i have a geniune mental health issue if you guys have any advise it would be greatly appreciated
im 19 i have no ambitions what so ever im currently at college i have had 3 jobs i have never liked any of them and the longest i have lasted was 6 months i dont want to work or go to college the only reason i do is to please my mother am not really a social person i dont go out at all i have 2 friends one i would say really close to but i have known them sinse i was 4 years old went through primary school and highschool with them so basically in the whole 19 years iv been on this planet i have made 2 real friends others come and go but there never really real friends more assosiates from work or college
a few months ago my mum was forcing me to go out and look for work i found a college course instead i also got one of my friends into it iv been at the course for about 3 months and when they went through the attendense rate mine was 84 % and less now im not a people person i dont like new people or large groups of people i only feel comfortable outside when im with one of my two friends or both of them the current college course has been bareable because my friend has been there with me but now he has a job and im finding myself not wanting to return to course
its not that im not interesting in stuff but my interests usually dimishes after a few days i have tried learning french i actually enjoyed but after 3 days i got bored and gave up i did the same with computer programming , creating graphics theres alot more things i even tried writing a book once gave up on that after a day aswell
i also notice sometimes i have odd thoughts like sometimes when im travelling to college on the bus i start to think what if someone can hear what im thinking i tell myself its stupid but i still still to blank my thoughts just incase even though i no its dumb i also tell lots of made up stories for no reason sometimes i watch movies like fight club or war movie and ill think i want to be like that i crave it i really do wish i could be like the guys in the movies i watch and alot a times i get myself into trouble for doing stupid things and sometimes when im in college i feel that people say stuff in a sly way towards me in other words they say it with dual meaning hard to explain people often laugh because i have this jacket they say im like kenny from southpark because i never take it off and to be honest i dont the only place my jacket comes off is in my house speaking of house i wont eat in any other house apart from my own i dont know why i dont feel like the houses are dirty or that and i dont have a phobia about eating infront of other people
i also surf the net a little too much aswell one of my favorite tv shows is about demon hunters and after ever episode i find my self searching the net looking for real demon hunter i know its silly but i do it anyway because i have this slight hope my life was ment for something bigger
i feel like my life is going nowhere as if im just going round in circles everyone else seems to have everything sorted out where is im still doing nothing with my life i mean if it was upto me i stay in my mums house and daydream for ever but i know i cant do this forever and that worries me
i dont think i could survive on my own i dont even know my own bank pin number my mum does this for me she cooks for me she cleans for me she buys my cloths which i think is very unusual for someone my age im really dependent on my mother
i dont know if im just depressed and lazy or if i have a geniune mental health issue if you guys have any advise it would be greatly appreciated