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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

lazy or a mental health problem

R

rampage

New member
Joined
Jan 21, 2009
Messages
2
i figure this will be the place to ask you guys would now and could offer some advice theres more to my question than asking you guys if im lazy so please read on

im 19 i have no ambitions what so ever im currently at college i have had 3 jobs i have never liked any of them and the longest i have lasted was 6 months i dont want to work or go to college the only reason i do is to please my mother am not really a social person i dont go out at all i have 2 friends one i would say really close to but i have known them sinse i was 4 years old went through primary school and highschool with them so basically in the whole 19 years iv been on this planet i have made 2 real friends others come and go but there never really real friends more assosiates from work or college

a few months ago my mum was forcing me to go out and look for work i found a college course instead i also got one of my friends into it iv been at the course for about 3 months and when they went through the attendense rate mine was 84 % and less now im not a people person i dont like new people or large groups of people i only feel comfortable outside when im with one of my two friends or both of them the current college course has been bareable because my friend has been there with me but now he has a job and im finding myself not wanting to return to course

its not that im not interesting in stuff but my interests usually dimishes after a few days i have tried learning french i actually enjoyed but after 3 days i got bored and gave up i did the same with computer programming , creating graphics theres alot more things i even tried writing a book once gave up on that after a day aswell

i also notice sometimes i have odd thoughts like sometimes when im travelling to college on the bus i start to think what if someone can hear what im thinking i tell myself its stupid but i still still to blank my thoughts just incase even though i no its dumb i also tell lots of made up stories for no reason sometimes i watch movies like fight club or war movie and ill think i want to be like that i crave it i really do wish i could be like the guys in the movies i watch and alot a times i get myself into trouble for doing stupid things and sometimes when im in college i feel that people say stuff in a sly way towards me in other words they say it with dual meaning hard to explain people often laugh because i have this jacket they say im like kenny from southpark because i never take it off and to be honest i dont the only place my jacket comes off is in my house speaking of house i wont eat in any other house apart from my own i dont know why i dont feel like the houses are dirty or that and i dont have a phobia about eating infront of other people

i also surf the net a little too much aswell one of my favorite tv shows is about demon hunters and after ever episode i find my self searching the net looking for real demon hunter i know its silly but i do it anyway because i have this slight hope my life was ment for something bigger

i feel like my life is going nowhere as if im just going round in circles everyone else seems to have everything sorted out where is im still doing nothing with my life i mean if it was upto me i stay in my mums house and daydream for ever but i know i cant do this forever and that worries me

i dont think i could survive on my own i dont even know my own bank pin number my mum does this for me she cooks for me she cleans for me she buys my cloths which i think is very unusual for someone my age im really dependent on my mother

i dont know if im just depressed and lazy or if i have a geniune mental health issue if you guys have any advise it would be greatly appreciated
 
D

Dollit

Guest
No one here can say whether you have a mental health problem or not. That can only be decided my a qualified doctor.

Some people do just have a lack of motivation and life passes them by almost. I had a partner like that and he made few friends, since I split up with him he has just his family.

On the other hand I'm extremely motivated and sociable in work. If I stay at home it's because I want to because I spend a lot of time with people through the day.

It's quite a fashionable thing at the moment to blame things on mental health problems when often the cause is just a person's nature. If you're sincerely worried then a chat with your GP is a good place to start.
 
R

rampage

New member
Joined
Jan 21, 2009
Messages
2
im worried because i know im going to have to eventually go and do something with my life and to be honest id rather sit in my mothers house and fantazize about how good my life is i dont seem to have any motovation at all and thats fine with me but the reason i think it may be a mental health problem is because i know some of the stuff i do is weird

i mean i dont think theres many people who argue with thereself on a bus about whether that person sitting across from them could possible read there mind and always feel on guard when out in public i wouldnt say i dislike people but i dont trust them and to behonest most of the time im quite scarred of them but i in all honestly i live in a rough area so many other people probs do not trust other people either

i dont really think i could see a doctor first of im really shy second i dont think i could afford it
 
D

Dollit

Guest
If you're in a country where you have to pay for healthcare then I can understand the fact that you may not have the funds for prolonged care. Many people here are reluctant to visit a doctor and explain the problem. What we do is say to them to print out a post or write down what they want to say and show that to the doctor. Everybody gets embarassed or shy about seeing the doctor at some time in their lives, that's a normal response.

If you are really worried then that is your first step.
 
W

Wordie

Member
Joined
Apr 1, 2009
Messages
10
Location
australia
19

Hi
I don't think 19 is too old to be dependant on your mother. Being shy is not a mental health issue. If you want to fantasise it is ok as long as you know it's a fantasy. You sound a bit paranoid on public transport but maybe it's just entertaining because you are bored. You do know it is silly. Sounds like a game a kid would play. If you are not happy you could try changing a couple of little things, like ask your mum for your bank details. You might feel a little more independant. It can be a slow thing growing up, especially for boys, if you only hit puberty at say 16, think of it like that, in my opinion most girls are 6 or 7 years past puberty at 19.
It is the quality of the friendships that is important, it's ok not to have more than a couple of friends.
Do you wear glasses? It's harder to be social when you can't see anything get your eyes checked. And your hearing. And a general health check. Some doctors will be happy to send you away with some happy pills which could exacerbate things because they are so full on.
Take your time deciding what you like to do, you are lucky to not need to work and to be able to try a few things at college. If you look stuff up on the internet alot, maybe eventually doing research would be fun for you.
Maybe try a film course cos you seem interested in fiction. Maybe try some of the things you already tried again, it can depend how it is taught whether you can get a good enough grip of it to know if you like it at first.
Plod along and see how you go, my brother was 23 when he finally did something besides muck about on the computer. (He travelled).
Mental Health issues usually show up from a high degree of personal distress and/or completely bizarre behaviour. If you feel very distressed or want to harm someone or yourself then definitely hop straight to the doctor!
Thanx
W
 
Last edited by a moderator:
W

Wordie

Member
Joined
Apr 1, 2009
Messages
10
Location
australia
Hi

Just a warning - when you do start hanging out with different people don't even try pot - it can trigger scizophrenia especially in shy/on the paranoid side people. There are studies on this, it is expert opinion. Probably don't take any other drugs too.
Oh maybe your college has free counselling u might get ahead in life quicker if you get counselling for your shyness and motivation issues.
Also talk to a friend about this stuff!
Thanx,
W.
 
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