- Aug 16, 2020
- United Kingdom
. actually, I’m not gonna lie. Today has been one of the worst days of my entire life and I know it’s not going to get better, I’m terrified all the time. I can’t sleep I can’t eat. My family doesn’t care, I would love to be with my grandda who I miss deeply. Living with borderline is like living with a curse of continuous anxiety, emptiness, grief, sadness, no happiness, no friends, no job, no one to turn to, being paranoid, Something is after you, I’m gonna die, thoughts that are bad, every time I close my eyes I wish God would just take me away I don’t want to be here and I’ve fought for long enough. When you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s nothing to lose. Constantly feeling judged, paranoid, stressed, angry, sad, nothing ever good comes from this disorder and I was shown today it’s not gonna to get better. I wish you all well, I really do, but things work out different for other people. If there is a God, he will answer my prayer as to why I have to live this torture every day. I’ve been called much worse so writing this was horrible, it makes me wanna be sick that I can’t even go on here and try to get support.