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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

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TearyEyedx

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Aug 16, 2020
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. actually, I’m not gonna lie. Today has been one of the worst days of my entire life and I know it’s not going to get better, I’m terrified all the time. I can’t sleep I can’t eat. My family doesn’t care, I would love to be with my grandda who I miss deeply. Living with borderline is like living with a curse of continuous anxiety, emptiness, grief, sadness, no happiness, no friends, no job, no one to turn to, being paranoid, Something is after you, I’m gonna die, thoughts that are bad, every time I close my eyes I wish God would just take me away I don’t want to be here and I’ve fought for long enough. When you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s nothing to lose. Constantly feeling judged, paranoid, stressed, angry, sad, nothing ever good comes from this disorder and I was shown today it’s not gonna to get better. I wish you all well, I really do, but things work out different for other people. If there is a God, he will answer my prayer as to why I have to live this torture every day. I’ve been called much worse so writing this was horrible, it makes me wanna be sick that I can’t even go on here and try to get support.
Peace out
 
Ladyfair

Ladyfair

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Aug 12, 2020
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1,841
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Wait You sound like me I also have some of those issues. Please don't give up, I feel your pain but death is NOT the answer. Do you want to talk? You can message me, believe me I have days when I feel the same way. You must not do anything bad.🌈
 
Ladyfair

Ladyfair

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Yes if there is a God do you think he would approve of you giving up? I also am unhappy I am overweight, lonely, no real family, no husband or children. I love someone who doesn't love me.😥 I think the same way, but I'm afraid to die. I have anxiety, depression, I can't get myself to a doctor because I'm afraid to go out. I sit here everyday just existing. I know there are people here that care, can you reach out to a minister, anyone?
 
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Zoe1

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Joined
Jul 8, 2019
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Constantly feeling judged, paranoid, stressed, angry, sad,

actually there is help for these kind of thoughts Teary Eyed ...
I have them myself and there is work you can do to change them
with professional help

what are your circumstances
regarding paying for therapy or getting financial help for it ?


:grouphug: ✨🐢🎵🌝
 
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TearyEyedx

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 16, 2020
Messages
243
Location
United Kingdom
actually there is help for these kind of thoughts Teary Eyed ...
I have them myself and there is work you can do to change them
with professional help

what are your circumstances
regarding paying for therapy or getting financial help for it ?


:grouphug: ✨🐢🎵🌝
Because I live in Scotland, it’s free but you have to wait ages for an appointment and especially during these times. They are so busy.
 
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Zoe1

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Jul 8, 2019
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Deleted member 91323

Guest
What happened to make you think nothing will get any better? Was it something somebody said on here?
 
D

Deleted member 91323

Guest
Please do not leave. It is so early for you as a member but you will find a lot of support on here. We understand as we live with bpd too.
 
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TearyEyedx

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 16, 2020
Messages
243
Location
United Kingdom
Please do not leave. It is so early for you as a member but you will find a lot of support on here. We understand as we live with bpd too.
I was in a bad place and I read a comment which my was being criticised for not following protocol with the Covid crisis. I thought I was gonna explode when I read that answer, as though they deserve to catch it? It made me feel like crap and highly upset as everyone I know has followed protocol when it comes to covid.My gran caught it in the nursing home, NOT her fault. I was so disappointed in that comment it hit me hard and I was looking for a way to hurt myself as I was feeling really impulsive and didn’t know what to do but I got to talk to one of the admins who Pretty much actually saved me last night from doing something really dumb. I lashed out because I was hurt by another member but I do feel much better but yesterday I just felt out of control
 
D

Deleted member 91323

Guest
I am so sorry you were triggered. It is really good an admin managed to support you. I am glad you are okay now and are staying on the forum.
 
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