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Lack of motivation and excitement

S

seeker

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2018
Messages
4
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Tukey
TL;DR: I have no hobbies (and no will to make one) and nothing is interesting for me anymore.

Hello people,

I am a 21-year-old guy, currently in my second semester in a university. 3 years ago I have been through some tough family issues and at the same time, I was rejected by the girl I loved.

Those things affected me too much, to the point in which I had trouble functioning as a social human being. I closed myself, stopped talking and interacting with anyone; besides the extreme situations where I had to. During this period of time, I stopped studying in my high school, I even stopped going to school at some point. All I was doing was get myself out of the house and walk all day long, I didn't have a destination, I just wanted to walk and walk and walk. Then in the night I would close myself in my room and spend time developing a game.

I always had an interest abut science, inventions, technology and innovation. Back when I was just a kid, I used to own tons of "science for kids" books. I used to watch kids shows about science and technology on the TV. I even had a subscription to a monthly science publication named "Bilim ve Teknik", which means "Science and Technology".

I also had a developing interest in coding and computers in general at a very young age. I remember doing websites in HTML back when I was just a 3rd grader. Then I learned Adobe Flash (it was owned by Macromedia back then), which is an animation program and started tinkering with it. I then went on to learn some actual programming languages such as Visual Basic and C# before starting high school.

Then at high school, I developed an interest in making games. I discovered Unity3D, a free-to-use game engine. I spent nearly 2 years with it, almost learning it inside out.

I had a lot more different interests but, I don't want to bore you out with a wall of text.

Now I lost all these interests of mine. I still buy science magazines, but I lack the motivation to read them. The last 2 ones I bought are still on the shelf waiting to be read for almost 7 months now. One of them I didn't even get out of the plastic protective bag.

I still have Unity3D, but whenever I try to open it up and try to implement a couple of features for my game project, it takes maximum 10 minutes for me to get bored and quit.

About coding... well let's just say it comes and goes. Whenever I face a challenge in some code I am writing, even if it was just for fun, I immediately give up and quit.

Nowadays even playing computer games don't excite me anymore, which I was all about 3 years ago.

The worst point is, I don't even know if I want to have some new hobbies, or try to fix the existing situation, I started to lack the motivation to take any action in my life. I clearly see and recognize and hate what I am doing with my life but I just can't start to act on it.

Due to this lack of motivation, I am not doing so good in college either. I'm not even sure whether I like the field I am studying in. I do it just because.

Now I want to ask you, how can I get my motivation back? I see all the people around me being able to motivate themselves and focus on the task at hand, and I feel like I lack this ability.

Have a nice day and thanks for reading this wall of whine.
 
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calypso

calypso

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44,744
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Hiya

I suspect that you are not alone in this and all those motivated people have just as much of a difficult time sometimes. But your experience has gone on for quite a long time hasn't it? Have you any signs of depression? It might be an idea to see your doctor and see if there is anything he can suggest. If you are British, then you can get therapy on the HS if you ask for it, but unfortunately there is a waiting list. But it might be an idea to see what can be done.

It could be you are on the wrong course so talking to one of your tutors might help you. Might I suggest that from the onte of your post, you are comparing yourself now to who you were. It could be that you are trying to do too much at the moment and getting discouraged. It might be an idea to set yourself small targets, little steps - and i mean "little" ones. Like get up and go to the local shop for something. Then try making a small meal you like. Don't do more than that for that day or the next few hours. Achieve small things first and build yourself up slowly. If you fail at one, then just go back a stage and start again. If you have course work to do, just read a passage in a book and stop there, give yourself a break and go back to it when you have set yourself a time to do it. Small and slowly.
 
S

seeker

New member
Joined
Apr 13, 2018
Messages
4
Location
Tukey
You are correct, I am putting too much pressure on myself. Unfortunately, I cannot stop it.

It has always been this way since I was a little kid. My parents always expected perfect grades from me, getting 90 out of 100 was a disgrace and a problem that needed to be discussed with my teachers.

I remember my father not talking to me for almost a month after getting a 485 score out of 500 in one of my high school admission tests. Many kids I knew would never even imagine getting a score that high, but I was a failure in my father's eyes for not doing better. He expected me to do 500 out of 500. He expected me to be flawless.

And my mother... She would expect me to just study and do nothing else. I couldn't have any hobbies or spend time enjoying myself, I had to study all the time. I didn't get to socialize, do sports, learn to play a musical instrument, et cetera.

Thank you for the advice. Hopefully, I will see a doctor or a therapist when I finally gather together the social courage to do so.
 
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