Lack of motivation affecting my education

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grigor1860

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#1
Hi,

I’m a uni student and I’ve been depressed for about 2 1/2 years, but recently it has been getting worse and worse. My sleeping pattern is all messed up, and I usually sleep for 4-6 hours before waking up, and then spending a maximum of 2 hours trying to get back to sleep. Often this is to no avail and I just stay awake. Because of this constant exhaustion, I have been skipping my seminars (compulsory lecture-style group talks) and received two informal warnings from the university, and one formal warning today. I do all the work in my own time, but more often that not I do not feel like going, and don’t go to lectures (which are optional), preferring to study at home instead. My grades are okay, at around 52% for most modules (although I failed one and got 65% - an middle second - in another) but I do feel like my poor sleep pattern and lack of motivation stemming from depression is holding me back. Also now that I’ve got a formal warning, if I get a second warning I could potentially be expelled.

Does anyone have any advice, or similar experiences? I can’t say I feel unhappy per se, but it’s just a general feeling of lethargy. Usually in the evenings I’m overcome with this feeling of sadness and I drink a fair amount to make me feel better. I’m also fairly lonely as I don’t have any friends here, but I am in touch with a few of my friends from school.

I’d appreciate any input :)

Grig
 
S

steve1953

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#2
Hi Grigor,

We all know about sleeping problems here we've all been through that problem over the years. Ive read through your post a couple of times and of all the things you're having problems with - and to me a good starting point is to get the sleeping better to start with. if there are piles of 'crap' excuse my english going though your mind during the night, it even has a name all these 100's/1000's of thoughts an hour, its called 'mental chatter' all humans experience it at some point so bad you can't sleep.

Try a Mantra Meditation - so when awake in the early hours, repeat a phrase over and over - toasted cheese and beans or cherry pie and cream - over and over, don't think about anything else just the phrase till you nod... Good luck, we get that part right and everything else will fall into place as you start to make your mind stronger and more alert during the day.

Let us know how you get on sleeping tonight...

Steve.
 
G

grigor1860

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#3
Hi Steve,

I definitely agree with you about the mental chatter part. I always try to empty my head of all thoughts but it doesn’t always work sadly. I’ll certainly take your advice on the mantra part! It sounds like it could work, so I’ll give that a shot tonight. Thanks for taking the time to reply :)
 
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Roseessa

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#4
Hi,
Have you spoken to someone at the Uni about your problems? They might be able to put something in place to help.
Have you spoken to your doctor about your lethargy?
 
S

steve1953

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#5
Hi Grigor I know what your're saying, ive been through certain times in my life when there's been so much going on, hard to calm thoughts I know. Small steps here to give you strength to sort your daily problems, and things that need sorting. And for that you need better sleep, so we start with that...

Alcohol needs cutting slightly tonight, it doesn't help I know been there... No phones to ear when on charge - TV off I would say an hour before sleeping to lower screen-time and to calm your mind/brain, avoid mental chatter going on, read a mag 'focus' on other peoples issues, not bad ones though, keep your energy vibration levels high and good when reading.

Another Mantra I use, my favorite - imagine drifting down a river in a small boat eating hot apple pie and custard or other food 'you can taste it no calories' - I never get to finish the bowl full, nod off zzzz
 
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grigor1860

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#6
Hi Roseessa,

There are university mental health services, and I’ll probably be referred there soon - I have to meet with my personal tutor about my attendance. I haven’t spoken to a doctor because I’m not entirely sure if it’s a medical problem exactly. I’m still not sure quite why I can’t sleep other than overthinking. Thanks for your reply :)

Steve,

Yes, you’re certainly right that my priority currently must be sorting out my sleeping pattern. I will try and start cutting down my alcohol use too, although this does aid me with sleeping. I have read about the effect of technology light on sleeping, so I will probably find another way to amuse myself before I go to sleep and follow your advice. I’ll try your second mantra too! Thanks again for your help :)
 
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steve1953

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#7
Yes its the overthinking - when doing a Mantra 'when resting' in day or night - if done correctly you are 'not able' to think of any other 'mental chatter' its not possible - focus 100% on the phrase it enables you sleep better, then coming days you'll be stronger to sort other issues. Its a good starting point, good luck, do a jigsaw puzzle or something to slow the mind a little just while your mind reboots, and it will and then be stronger then to sort things out. Speak again soon...
 
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TooMuchPain

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#8
Mindfulness. I use an app called Headspace. Its free to try.

Mindfulness tries to show you a calmer world with less tunnel vision. I didn't realize how much tunnel vision I had until Mindfulness took some of it away.
 
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steve1953

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#9
Yes mindfulness is good. All this advice won't sort all your problems 'yet' but it will give you a great chance to 1 by 1 - also avoid online gaming, brains in full whack, you need rest and to reboot. Things to do, in evening, if you have an electric dishwasher, volunteer to do dishes wash and dry, while washing/drying try 'think' only just what you're doing, same as when drinking a cup of tea or eating something, be aware of what your doing, its called 'being in the moment' - every time you do this, complement yourself its 'positive energy' to your system to complement yourself that 'you' at that very moment are helping your mind to reboot.

Good luck let us all know here how you get on...
 
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grigor1860

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#10
Thanks to you both! I’ll be sure to try the mantra method tonight and see how things go. I have heard about (and seen advertised) Headspace before. I’ll look into Mindfulness tonight too :)
 
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Jules5

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#11
grigor1860 This dose not happen over night and possibly over a life time. You really need to settle you nerves. AND NOT WITH BOOZE. If the alcohol was working your would not be frantic.

I drink so I have a little say in whats going on. I have a Master's Degree but only while I was sober.
in early school I had a drinking problem and my Professors knew. I mean how many excuses could I give to them. For some reason I left the alcohol behind ended up in Graduate School and so forth.
Now I am drinking again and feel like a true failure. No one can stop me. And everyone understands-runs in a bunch of families indiscrimnately.

Anyways on the brighter side I have had many successful jobs with my degree. I just screwed them all up due to my psychosis. Nothing to do with alcohol.

When I did have careers while drinking I kepted my drinking at bay-no one knew-what a awful life to live.

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO STUDY IF YOU ARE DRINKING.....Get some help call out to your counselors and plead for help or relief. Do not go this road alone AA is just next door. Wishing Love Peace and foremost Happiness.
 
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grigor1860

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#12
Hi Jules5,

I am trying to cut down my drinking as is. I recognise it’s not a helpful habit at all. I wouldn’t describe it as an addiction yet, just a bad coping mechanism. I will follow your advice and try and gradually cut down my intake except for social occasions. Thanks for taking the time to reply :)
 
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steve1953

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#13
Try and get a better night's sleep now Grig, lower the alcohol as you said, drink warm tea as well I find that relaxing, shut your computer off now for the night, and that's the first step - then keep in mind 'everything' people have said here and tomorrow's another day, clear your head of it for now! - then see who to go and to see and what to do with a clearer head asap when you've had a better sleep.
 
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Jules5

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#15
Sweetie No fears. We all have are demons-drinking is one of mine. I can tell you from experience you will not get through school drinking-grab a bottle of water in social situations. School is uno number one right now-so only socialize monthly. Too much at stake not to take this serious. And if I got through school you can too.

Right now I am a mud puddle with alcohol-no ambition or drive even with a degree. This may not happen to you but please be careful.

If I did not turn my phone off while I was studying and going to school I would not have made it. It is a pick or choose situation.
 
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grigor1860

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#16
Thanks to all of you for showing so much care! I’m determined to turn this all around, and your support has only strengthened my resolve.
 
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Jules5

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#17
You sound resolute. Good for you. Keep on posting because not every day is a good day and you just made allot of friends.
 
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grigor1860

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#18
I’m very appreciative :) I’m going to try and sleep now and pioneer some of the new methods. Thanks to all of you for your help.
 
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grigor1860

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#19
The mantra technique seems to be working, and I have been sleeping better! Although the words eventually slur into something completely different after a while, it does send me to sleep eventually. I’m going to try some of the suggested apps tonight :)
 
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steve1953

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#20
Good keep getting better sleep and things will be easier to deal with, try different repeated words or foods with Mantra, keep us posted. Once you sleep better you won't need the alcohol as much of, then you'll start seeing results as the mind gets stronger and clearer....
 

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