keeping relationships

[Nutter_09]

Hi all,

I am suffering with depression and am also in a happy relationship with my boyfriend. I always try not to show him how I am feeling etc as I don't want him to see me down but more recently I have been so bad I can't hide it.
He has been great but I do think it get's to him.
I just wondered how others go about keeping a relationship happy?

My family wonder why I am "fine" when with him, the truth is, I try my 100% with him as I don't want to loose him.

 

[Ainsworth]

hey Nutter_09

ive been in a relationship for 17 years and have to say ive put him through hell, hes a top bloke as i know others who have walked away from far less.

i couldnt hide who i was from him, it was always on show and to be honest i have kicked him out soo many times. i know he loves me (why? i have no idea) but he does, and i dont doubt his love or that of our kids. i doubt everyone else.

i think because ive never hidden my emotions he has learnt to accept it as me and knows im still searching for that person who i believe is me, but is lost atm.

when things are good they are fantastic, when they are bad, they can take us to another breaking point.

i think the relationship works because we both know we arent perfect and are human. we screw up and are forgiven, also he likes some of my manic behaviour

being honest from the start helped me (may not help everyone) i tell him everything (now) and he never judges me or rejects me, as he knows those are the things i cant handle.

me inturn, love him back, listen to him, overly protect him from everyone and apologise quite often when i screw up.

we just work well together but its been a long road and mostly up hill

also it will get to them, as they love us, its the same if we were watching them hurt and not being able to help them.
the way i am is nothing to do with my OH and he knows that now. once he learnt that and believed it, things got alot better between us.

 

[Nutter_09]

Thanks for the reply,
It sounds like your OH is a very sweet man and we are lucky to have them.
I just worry that he will eventually get so fed up.

 

[Wynn]

Sounds like you are doing really well already! He may be more aware of things than you realise.

From my viewpoint, as a partner of a person with depression, I would say be there for him as much as he is there for you, and realise that although he cares very, very much about you, he can only support you - he can't live the depression with you, so may need time away to keep himself strong, and he can't 'fix' the depression - but it sounds to me like you are doing these things already!!

Don't worry about what your family say, either - sounds to me like you have your priorities right.