keep speeking but it dont seem like ant one is listening

Z

zZsw1tchbladeZz

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Joined
Jun 14, 2018
Messages
1
#1
I been through 28 years of hell it never seems to end I have tried to end it all multiple times a few things have stopped me over the years right now its my niece but I just want to die nothing seems worth it any more does any one feel like listening
 
Mark Dixon

Mark Dixon

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Joined
Aug 17, 2016
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Location
16th Precinct
#3
I am feeling the same way at the moment. I don't want to do anything except succumb to eternal rest. I don't want to read, write, watch anything, listen to music, converse, hike or anything. Literally nothing fills me with joy or pleasure and I just want to go to sleep one night and never wake up.
 
P

Pollypop

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Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
950
Location
England. Derbyshire
#4
I’m sorry nobody has continued any contact on your thread.
It’s a shame.
I don’t know how you are all feeling at the moment but I
can truly identify with you.

I see no point to life and that I am just sitting here waiting
to die.

I have become agoraphobic and won’t let anyone in my house
either. So that explains why I am just waiting.

I have no motivation to do anything, either in the house or tv, paper etc.
No hobbies. My brain sometimes thinks of one but again, I just can’t find the energy.

Anyway, I hope you are all improving and we can keep this thread going.

Best wishes Pollypop x
 
BleachedViolet

BleachedViolet

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Joined
Mar 26, 2019
Messages
1,264
Location
Light from a dead star...
#5
I’m sorry nobody has continued any contact on your thread.
It’s a shame.
I don’t know how you are all feeling at the moment but I
can truly identify with you.

I see no point to life and that I am just sitting here waiting
to die.

I have become agoraphobic and won’t let anyone in my house
either. So that explains why I am just waiting.

I have no motivation to do anything, either in the house or tv, paper etc.
No hobbies. My brain sometimes thinks of one but again, I just can’t find the energy.

Anyway, I hope you are all improving and we can keep this thread going.

Best wishes Pollypop x
I've had periods of agoraphobia as well. It took my husband being hospitalised to draw me out of my last rut...

And I have extremes regarding apathy. I'll feel totally indifferent to everything, like empty and hollow. Like I just see an ocean of nothingness expanding before me for the rest of my life. Growing old scares me. I honestly have hoped to die in my 50s so I don't have to deal with growing older, or even earlier, so I don't have to experience the deaths of the few people I love...

Or else everything just reminds me of something painful. Like it hurts too much to hear certain songs, or I'll get a song in my head (yesterday it was "Angie" by the Rolling Stones) and I'll literally start to cry.

Then I get bursts of hope. They don't last long, but I'll feel like I can actually accomplish something meaningful with my life.

I feel like I've made such a waste of the years I've been given and now I'm totally lost. But then I have periods where I can be more reasonable.

I'm like 30 different people within one day.

Do your feelings pass or fluctuate, or are they static?

I relate to everyone's posts, FWIW.

I wish I had the right words, but all I can do atm is try to relate...

:hug: