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Keep losing people

JG Georgie

JG Georgie

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2015
Messages
2
I apologize in advance for the length, I'm a writer so I have trouble toning things down. So, because of a sort of crisis I was going through towards the end of last year, I left my high school and I hadn't seen any of my friends in over 2 months. And dealing with manic depression for over 5 years now, I have to say, my friends have been one of the only things keeping me going. They're like a second family to me. And even when all my secrets starting unraveling about my depression and some of the crazy stuff I'd done, they all still stuck by my side and showed me love. So, not seeing them for all this time has really hurt me. The time away really did help my state of mind, but I missed them so much. So earlier this week, I went up to the school and, to my amazement, left and right people were seeing me and greeting me with giant hugs and smiles, shouting my name. This really lifted my spirits up. Okay, now for the complete 180. There were these two girls (Bree and Emma) I met during swimming season at my school (they helped out with the team). Before I knew it, the three of us become really close friends and they were one of the only things I looked forward to when forcing myself out of bed. A few weeks back, I made the mistake of telling one of them I liked them while texting her (Bree). I didn't really mean to, it just sorta slipped out through my nervous banter. After that she ignored my text and calls for about 2 and a half weeks. The first day I came up to the school, I went to the pool and the Emma saw me and ran up and hugged me. Bree was apparently gone at a doctor's appointment. So, me and Emma talked a little hear and there and everything seemed fine. Then the second day that I came up, I stopped at the store and got Bree sugar cookies (as the ending of a ongoing joke between us) and I got Emma her favorite candy. When I got there, Bree looked at me and gave me a look of like "Oh, god, while the hell is he here". I tried ignoring it and said 'hey' to Emma, who awkwardly just said 'hi' and didn't even look up at me. It mad me a little upset, but I tried to keep a positive outlook and so when we were passing them their new swim stuff, I slipped both of their 'treats' in their respective swim stuff. Even when they came up to me they barely said a word and completely avoided eye contact. The rest of the day went pretty much the same and I got kinda bummed. Then today, both of them literally avoided me at every turn and didn't even say hi. At one point I went outside on the stairway by myself and a few minutes later, bree walked out, saw me, and went right back in. I later asked Emma through text about it and she said "It's just not the same." and that "we haven't talked or seen each other in so long. You can't expect us to be all buddy buddy right when you get back." And to some degree I understood that, but they literally didn't even have a single conversation with me. I don't know, I just feel like I keep losing people left and right and I don't know what to do about them at this point. I'm not officially coming back to school and their swim season is over. So, there's not exactly any time for us to be together and "get back to normal" like she said. Again sorry for the length and thank you to anyone who read this entire thing.
 
DiddyKong

DiddyKong

Active member
Joined
Feb 9, 2015
Messages
39
Location
Brisbane, Australia
Worth the read... Thanks for sharing... :welcome:

Maybe the girls have only ever seen you as a good friend and they find it hard to see it in another light.
Your personality and who you are does not seem to be any part of this situation, you seem like a nice guy (buying the girls their favorite treats, only a sweet guy would do that).
Perhaps you could just acknowledge to them that they are feeling and acting different towards you, and reassure them that you are still the same person (their friend who has the inside joke of sugar cookies)...

I hope this helps even just a little bit. Your a good guy and seem to have a good dynamic of people around you, so keep it up champ...
 
JG Georgie

JG Georgie

New member
Joined
Feb 14, 2015
Messages
2
Thank you! And, Bree (the one I like), explained to me that she just didn't know what to say to me after she found out how I feel about her. Which I guess is pretty understandable, so a day or two ago, I told her I would give her some space and hopefully we could get back to how things were. And so I guess that's why she didn't really talk to me today. But, Emma (I see her like my little sis) said it's just not the same since I was gone for so long and that she needed time for things to get back to normal. The thing is, I'm not officially back and I was just visiting. But, I know they still care about me, so I'll figure it out. I always do! Thanks again!
 
DiddyKong

DiddyKong

Active member
Joined
Feb 9, 2015
Messages
39
Location
Brisbane, Australia
It's good to see that there is a level of understanding...
I hope the rest works out with Emma...

Good attitude man.. Keep it up.. :cool:
 
G

George10111

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2017
Messages
297
JG Georgie, I had a similar experience years back. Sorry this is rather lengthy. I don't know if you can relate to this. I went to a small 1A high school and graduated in a class of like 25 students. First summer after graduation passed quickly then I became really depressed because I was used to going back to school. At that time it set in slowly but sharply. I was on my own in life. There is no more 'high school' structure. It was now working and making money, no more sports teams, friends, etc. It drove me into a depression. As the months passed it actually got worse, until I was suffocating in depression. I hated working and was bouncing from dead end job, to dead end job.

Mid winter of my first year out of HS I decided to contact my old principal. I'm embarrassed about it to this day. I was really struggling and I asked if I could work there. All my other friends were still a junior. Only one or two graduated with me. I was planning on for sure getting my job there but she said no. This made me very sad so I asked again like a week later and she got kind of weirded out and said no, so I did the unthinkable and asked again the third time and she got kind of angry so we had an online argument. This was all on Facebook. I was invited to go visit for a day by my friend who was still going there at the time, so I went and sat in class. Former grad students have done that before. I definitely felt awkward and unwelcome when I went back. This was spring the following year. My friend then invited me to the small prom but I insisted on not going but eventually decided to after being pressured. I could only stay for a half hour because it was just so terribly awkward. It was a train wreck from the moment I got there. At that point I realized I had to drop high school altogether, in spite of all the wonderful memories I'd had. I didn't contact anyone from there ever again after that, except my few friends.

Fast forward 6 years, now 7 years out of HS and I don't even give a crap. I moved on a long time ago after finding a new circle of friends and hobbies, who I'm now no longer affiliated with. I've had a lot of interesting experiences. My group of friends dissipated a few years back. These were my young adult friends, not friends from high school. My small friend circle from HS dissipated within a year after high school now we barely talk to each other at all. I know how it feels to lose people who are close to you. I was devastated for the first year or two after high school but in time I felt better.

I think there's a lot to say in being stuck in a rut mentally. It took a few significant experiences to really shake me of that mindset and help me move on and sometimes that's what's necessary. It doesn't at all have to be a bad significant experience, but just something that shifts your focus. This has been the way it always goes in my experience. When I'm stuck in a mental rut, like an age related mindset, it takes a new experience to turn my focus and direction. I hope this makes sense. Thanks for reading and good luck.
 
Last edited:
PAULA120

PAULA120

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 9, 2018
Messages
57
Location
London
do not look for negative aspects, many of your friendships will not last for several months. How girls behave is not your fault. in my opinion Bree persuaded Emme to avoid you so much. It's good if you ever meet an emma yourself and ask frankly what's going on. Do not focus on this. Each of us has people who are and they are not there in a moment. You are a super man and a valuable being. Focus on yourself. on your dreams, plans for the future. xx
 
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