• Welcome! It’s great to see you.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse

L

Lady Summer Isles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
923
Location
NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
Sorry folks this may be long. As some of you may know from my journal I hear voices and had a particularly bad day last Friday. My current situation is that i'm trying to change pdoc which has been ongoing for the last 2 years. I'm not seeing my cpn as she reports back to the pdoc i'm trying to change from and she's useless anyway. So my main source of support has been my Support worker whom I see twice a week on monday and friday.

Getting back on track as I said last Friday was a really bad day, see my journal. I have a hearing voices group that I attend once a fortnight on a Friday and my support worker helps me get there on the bus. Last week I was experiencing awfull voices before she arrived. They told me not to let her in as if I did I would hurt her. This was the first time i've ever had this. Usually the voices tell me to harm myself. It scared me to death. I also felt I couldn't do the bus journey that day so I sent her a txt telling her that. She sent a txt back and said she would come and get me in her car. When she arrived I was in quite a state and showed her my journal which said about not letting her in as the voices were saying i might harm her. She said it was very brave of me to show her what I'd written and that she did'n't feel in any danger at all with me and never has. She talked to me for about half an hour and we agreed for her to take me in her car to the hearing voices group. When it was finished and I came out her boss was with her and said something about having to see someone after me and that her boss was coming in the car to take me home. I immediatly thought it was because of what i had said to her. I couldn't speak all the way home. She said she would see me today as planned.

This morning an hour before she was due to come I got a phone call from her boss telling me they are withdrawing her from coming out to see me as I'm too much of a risk after what I had said. I'm absolutely devastated. She said i'm too ill to work with her anyway. I've been seeing her for about 18 months and she has become like a friend to me as well. It was the first time the voices had said anything about harming anyone else and I did not act upon what they had said. So now i'm left with nothing, no support. We were working on sorting the house out and getting me out and about and on the buses.

If they are so worried about me all of a sudden why am I not seeing anyone. Her boss said to me that i need to see a pdoc or my cpn but as i explained earlier that is not possible. I told her by taking my support worker away I felt I would deteriorate further. I can understand them being concerned for her safety, but she herself said she was not worried at all and she knows me better than anyone. I feel so low now. I can't fight them anymore. They have got what they wanted and are getting rid of me out of their system. All I did was to be honest, if I'd kept quiet I'd still be seeing her. I don't know how I'm going to cope. Her boss said she's going to speak to my cpn anyway which I don't want. I'm scared they will end up sectioning me now. I also don't know if they will continue to let me go to the hearing voices group as my cpn oversees this as well and if I won't see her I don't know what will happen. I wrote in my journal that i felt a bit more optimistic this morning and that I was going to try really hard with my support worker. Now I'm left with nothing and didn't even get to say goodbye. Sorry i'm just so upset and confused.:(:cry:
 
iffybob

iffybob

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 20, 2009
Messages
4,858
Location
England
Right

I think you are right to be upset and confused ...

.. sorry this has happened to you .. I know we dont realy get any say in these things ..

... I hope they work somthing out for you ... :flowers:
 
L

Lady Summer Isles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
923
Location
NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
I think you are right to be upset and confused ...

.. sorry this has happened to you .. I know we dont realy get any say in these things ..

... I hope they work somthing out for you ... :flowers:
Thanks bob
Hubby just home so trying to tell him what's happened.
 
raven

raven

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
761
Location
Bristol
hugs

Thats awful news I can't understand why they are acting so drematically. Could you change CPNs perhaps to one that you could get on with? Have you got a crisis team you could contact?

raven
 
L

Lady Summer Isles

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
923
Location
NOBODY KNOWS FOR SURE
Thats awful news I can't understand why they are acting so drematically. Could you change CPNs perhaps to one that you could get on with? Have you got a crisis team you could contact?

raven
Thanks
Unfortunately i'm on cpn number 3:oops: I can't cope with domineering people due to my ptsd and they keep putting me with unsuitable people. The crisis team only get involved by you seeing a doc. Hubby is going to ring the person that's made the decision tomorrow but I doubt they will change their minds. It seems that honesty gets you nowhere.:(
 
raven

raven

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2010
Messages
761
Location
Bristol
Thanks
Unfortunately i'm on cpn number 3:oops: I can't cope with domineering people due to my ptsd and they keep putting me with unsuitable people. The crisis team only get involved by you seeing a doc. Hubby is going to ring the person that's made the decision tomorrow but I doubt they will change their minds. It seems that honesty gets you nowhere.:(
Strange my CPN was domineering too maybe its in the job spec. Have hope maybe your husband will be able to convince them. It is possible.

Perhaps go and treat yourself to something nice to drink or eat. SOmething to distract you for now.

Fingers crossed for tomorrow.

raven
 

Similar threads

Top