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Just want to know if anyone else knows this feeling

S

shye

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Dec 9, 2019
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So I have no idea where to post this because I have absolutely no idea if it‘s releated to stress or anxiety or whatever.

I think the best way to describe it is with an example. It happens a lot when I‘m supposed to study and am just really stressed, because then just one small bad thing has to happen to me (for example thinking about the future or literally just dropping a pen) and I go into ‚rage-mode‘ and have a full mental breakdown. It‘s so hard to explain it. It‘s like i‘m electrified, my hands and feet (sometimes its my whole body) start to cramp and I feel like I‘m actually going crazy.
It‘s like there are so many emotions inside of me that they are about to burst out and I have this extreme urge to destroy myself or everthing I own. The only way to stop the ‚cramps’ (which arent really cramps but there is just no other way to explain it) and this feeling of being electrified is to actually burst out those emotions. That means I obviously start uncontrollably crying but I also start self harming in various ways or just destroying something in my room.
In the end I look like a psychopath because I have bruises everywhere and my makeup is all over my face.
This happens to me since two years now and I never heard of anyone who has the same problem as me and sadly never found anything on the internet about it. I just wanna know if there is ANYONE who can relate and maybe even tell me why the fuck this keeps happening because I am so sick of it. In these kind of moments I can not controll myself the slightest and at the end of the day I have the biggest headache ever because I self harmed too many times.

Sorry that this is so long and sorry for my english, it‘s not my native language. :)
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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I think this is perhaps your manifestation of stress, Shye but you would benefit from learning anger management. Yes, I'm familiar with rage triggered by frustration or anxiety - too many stimulants make it far worse, so if you're drinking coffee and smoking whilst you study, that will increase the level of adrenalin rushing around your system. xxx
 
hicks

hicks

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Hi :welcome:
Sorry I don't know what's causing your physical symptoms but it sounds like hell.
Just read Lunar's response, could be anxiety. Have you spoken with a medical practitioner about it?
 
S

shye

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Hi :welcome:
Sorry I don't know what's causing your physical symptoms but it sounds like hell.
Just read Lunar's response, could be anxiety. Have you spoken with a medical practitioner about it?
Thank u!
Yeah I spoke to my therapist about it when it first started happening but she didnt really know where it was coming from and didnt give me any tips on how to stop it so i just kinda stopped talking about it.
 
hicks

hicks

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Thank u!
Yeah I spoke to my therapist about it when it first started happening but she didnt really know where it was coming from and didnt give me any tips on how to stop it so i just kinda stopped talking about it.
Not all therapists are equal.
If you're a student, then that can be a bit stressful at times. Do you feel under pressure?
Rather than brush this under the carpet, whoever you talk to needs to explore these feelings a bit more.
 
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shye

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This might help you:

I read tons of articles like that but I seem to forget it all when one of those ‚attacks‘ is happening. Problem is that while this attack is happening it feels like NOTHING can calm me down except for hurting myself in some way because as I said my body starts to cramp and its impossible to think about anything else than „You‘re worthless, you don‘t have a future, All your friends secretly hate you, blah blah blah“. There is no space for even the thought of anything that could help me calm down.
 
S

shye

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Joined
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Not all therapists are equal.
If you're a student, then that can be a bit stressful at times. Do you feel under pressure?
Rather than brush this under the carpet, whoever you talk to needs to explore these feelings a bit more.
Oh yeah I feel stressed 24/7. I stopped talking about it because it stopped for like 2-3 months and because it‘s really hard for me to talk to anyone about my feelings I feel weird bringing this up again because it really is fucked up. Talking about it makes me just SO uncomfortable because no one would ever think i‘m doing shit like this to myself because I seem like a pretty happy person.
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

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I read tons of articles like that but I seem to forget it all when one of those ‚attacks‘ is happening. Problem is that while this attack is happening it feels like NOTHING can calm me down except for hurting myself in some way because as I said my body starts to cramp and its impossible to think about anything else than „You‘re worthless, you don‘t have a future, All your friends secretly hate you, blah blah blah“. There is no space for even the thought of anything that could help me calm down.
Shye, the changes need to be made to your day-today life to prevent you having an 'attack'. A cupboard door bursts open and spills out its entire contents when it's crammed full. This is how you are emotionally - and you can't stop an avalanche in its tracks.

You need to address how you manage your stress levels daily. xxx
 
P

Penny68

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Nov 7, 2019
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So I have no idea where to post this because I have absolutely no idea if it‘s releated to stress or anxiety or whatever.

I think the best way to describe it is with an example. It happens a lot when I‘m supposed to study and am just really stressed, because then just one small bad thing has to happen to me (for example thinking about the future or literally just dropping a pen) and I go into ‚rage-mode‘ and have a full mental breakdown. It‘s so hard to explain it. It‘s like i‘m electrified, my hands and feet (sometimes its my whole body) start to cramp and I feel like I‘m actually going crazy.
It‘s like there are so many emotions inside of me that they are about to burst out and I have this extreme urge to destroy myself or everthing I own. The only way to stop the ‚cramps’ (which arent really cramps but there is just no other way to explain it) and this feeling of being electrified is to actually burst out those emotions. That means I obviously start uncontrollably crying but I also start self harming in various ways or just destroying something in my room.
In the end I look like a psychopath because I have bruises everywhere and my makeup is all over my face.
This happens to me since two years now and I never heard of anyone who has the same problem as me and sadly never found anything on the internet about it. I just wanna know if there is ANYONE who can relate and maybe even tell me why the fuck this keeps happening because I am so sick of it. In these kind of moments I can not controll myself the slightest and at the end of the day I have the biggest headache ever because I self harmed too many times.

Sorry that this is so long and sorry for my english, it‘s not my native language. :)
hi x I can relate as a mum My son suffered terribly like you The anger in him was so damaging to himself and everyone around him He would smash up my home The slightest thing would kick it off He ended up getting himself in trouble with the law sadly So hard to see him suffer I think anger management and talking therapy of some sort could help you
 
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