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Just want to end it..

Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
375
Location
Not sure
Woke up with panic attack, pains in chest. Nobody can help. I can’t take it any more.
 
Lunar Lady

Lunar Lady

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2019
Messages
5,420
Location
UK
Panic attacks are terrifying, Tiggs - no wonder you feel like you've had enough. :hug:

I've just read back through your most recent posts, as I haven't been on the forum much lately.

Fantastic that you can embark on some counselling now. The first session always leaves you feeling more hopeless because we're desperate for an immediate fix and building a relationship and opening up to a stranger takes time.

I had my first counselling session last week. Just like you, I went away feeling low and deflated, thinking "what was the point in that?" I think most people do. It's just the first step of the process of healing.

I know you have mentioned that you're not taking medication. I respect and understand that - I don't take medication either. However, I never rule it out. If I reach a point where I've exhausted every avenue of lifting my mental state without success, I'll stabilise myself with whatever my GP recommends. If there's a chemical imbalance in our brains, no amount of effort, rational thought, positive thinking and mindfulness will change that. Sometimes, no amount of effort can induce your brain to create the right chemical mix. We need a kick-start.

I'm working with good days and bad days, Tiggs. Sometimes, the 'engine' in my head turns over first time and I motor through the day quite happily. Other times, I can spend all day turning the key and nothing happens. When the good days peter out and I'm only left with feeling low, that's the time to talk to a doctor again and accept the help and expertise on offer.

If you've had enough of the fight today, permit yourself a day off. Watch a favourite movie...snuggle up on the couch in a dressing gown and just tell the world you have to rest today. We're humans, not robots!

Sending you so much love and you know you can PM if you want to unload or just talk light hearted nonsense. :hug:
 
Mrs Tiggywinkle

Mrs Tiggywinkle

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 16, 2019
Messages
375
Location
Not sure
Thank you Lunar....sending you my love too. :hug5: x
 
N

Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
581
Location
London, ON
I agree with Lunar - sometimes, we have to give in and accept we need some chemical help.

Starting therapy is always hard. It always makes me realize the huge distance between where I am, and where I want to be. It seems so daunting.

Everything has to start sometime, though. Don't let your anxiety convince you things are impossible.

Your mood doesn't want you to realize how strong you are. Eat a snack, watch a favourite show, and remind yourself you are safe.
 
B

Bettyriver

Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2020
Messages
11
Location
West midland
Look, ure not gna end it hun, ure on here for help and tbh, it ain't that easy to end ure life, I know, I been there with tablets and drink and shit, u ain't gna do it so wen u feel the urge to end ure life fight back at ureself, like wat ure doing now, obviously somewhere life has f.. Ked u up and f.. Ked u ova and that's why u feel life this, I've felt the same but if u give up the only person ure gna hurt is ureself, u need to take out for ureself, f.. K everyone else, find u again
 
B

Bettyriver

Member
Joined
Feb 13, 2020
Messages
11
Location
West midland
Hi hun, was just wondering if ure feeling a little bit better today, talking does help, even counciling, hope ure OK
 
Catty5

Catty5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 7, 2020
Messages
788
Location
USA
Hello

Hope you’re feeling better now
I used to wake up like that every morning.
I felt helpless, alone with cats.
 
Lone_wanderer

Lone_wanderer

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2012
Messages
3,859
@Mrs Tiggywinkle, hey Tiggs, haven't been on much myself - been a little crazy from the hcange in meds but things appear to have settled down! Just wanted to say glad your ok matie and I'm here to talk if you feel like you ever need it. Big hugs. X.
 
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