I'm suffering from stuck thoughts, complete numbness and extreme and disabling fatigue which has made me quit school. I'm tired of feeling like this. Not only does my own life suffer, it also affects my relationship with my family and my relationship with healthcare is not so great either. Every time I try to talk about my condition and how it affects me, all I receive is ignorance, neglect, denial, self-blame and misunderstandings. I also feel like healthcare is not doing their best to help me. It is a distressing situation not only for me but also for my parents who are deeply concerned about my future. I think my situation has seen the worst of life for me. I can't imagine anything worse than putting up with the life I've had to put up with for almost 20 consecutive years. I just want my suffering to end so I can get to a normal life now, once and for all. It would turn both my own life and my relationship with everyone else upside down. Imperfection, surprises and nihilism may be the realities we face daily, but I just want a normal life that flows on like most else's lives.