just to say hi

[stargazer]

hi everybody i suffer from depressionand have battled a tough fight with myself for years, because of my depression i have done things that i am ashamed of and hate myself for so i have tried many things to help but most people i have dealt with dont really give a damn (i can tell) doctors, councellors,ect my main problem seems to be agression,anger/hate/motivation i used to have reg suicidal thoughts but my new meds seem to have that under control now i seem to have so much hate and anger inside of me this is so hard to discribe what do you do if you dont like yourself i have a family 2 beautiful kids boy&girl and aloving &understanding partner of 11years!! we have been through hell together (change,debt,family death ect) but we have pulled through but not without the emotional damage i hope this forum can help me and i too can help others as i have been through so much ,depression is such a missunderstood illness ihave read a few posts and the users seem to really care thats such a rare thing i know there are good people out there its just so hard to find them.....

 

[jdoe123]

Welcome

Welcome Stargazer....we care.... I know what you mean alot of times it feels if you are just a number. I have a boy and a girl too.

 

[stargazer]

thanks for the reply and i have to admit that my partner has been my biggest support the one and only true person i can trust dont get me wrong we have had some major ups&downs but it just shows that if love is strong enough you can pull through although my struggle is far from over having a family is the biggest reason to carry on fighting when i had suicidal thoughts i thought of my 4 yr old daughter growing up without a father those two thoughts tore me up so bad it could never be an option never i dont know if this fight will ever end but i am better than i used to be

 

[jdoe123]

good job

It was the same for me ....my children seem to keep me steady...
We are glad that you are here.

 

[stargazer]

i look forward to speaking more to you and others but it is 02:44 and my bed is callingthanks for taking the time to reply goodnight

 

[intelgal]

Hey Stargazer to the forum... sounds like you ve got lots of good advice to contribute !

Intel

 

[Behind The Sun]

Hi stargazer to the forum

I to get angry quite often over stupid things really so you are not alone,and its the close ones to me that get hurt.

But this forum is really warm and friendly so i hope it helps.
All the best BTS

 

[stargazer]

Hey Stargazer to the forum... sounds like you ve got lots of good advice to contribute !

Intel

hi intelgal i believe that good advice/support can only be given from others that have been or gone through a similar ilness i was not sure about forum but i now feel that it may be very benificial to know that people DO care for me is so important as i do have a rather misanthropic outlook as i have come across so many bad/selfish people that just makes me more hatefull i do have a real aggression problem when people cross me especially road rage its not good and i know i have a problem im not uncontrolled but if pushedtoo far its not pretty my meds help but more work is needed i am a good person, respectfull and caring and it is very hard knowing what i am like when angry is dissapointing but im working on it giving and taking advice can only improve anyones situation

 

[stargazer]

Hi stargazer to the forum

I to get angry quite often over stupid things really so you are not alone,and its the close ones to me that get hurt.

But this forum is really warm and friendly so i hope it helps.
All the best BTS

Hi BTS you are so right & because its your loved ones for me i just hate myself even more i have found my new meds enable me to be more in control of my rage dont get me wrong im NOT physically agressive as iwould never forgive myself but just verbal when im crossed in any way i tend to over react im very relentless in an arguement it can be handy in some situations but ultimately not a good thing ,what do you find helps you??

 

[intelgal]

Hi,

Absolulty I have tuggled with my mental health the last couple of years and actually work in a unrelated area of healthcare. I feel that I am now able to look after my patients better because if my personal experiences, if that makes sense

 

[stargazer]

It was the same for me ....my children seem to keep me steady...
We are glad that you are here.

i see you too have a real battle on your hands it must be hard to deal with yourself and your husbands ilness but its obviously a fight you are not prepared to lose, the kids always help (until they are naughtie) but that is part of the challenge you will always havesomeone to talk to and i like to help as so do the others on this forumits a long hard struggle the most important thing is to never give up

 

[stargazer]

Hi,

Absolulty I have tuggled with my mental health the last couple of years and actually work in a unrelated area of healthcare. I feel that I am now able to look after my patients better because if my personal experiences, if that makes sense

Hi yes that makes complete sense personal experiences are what make you who you are and give us the wisdom to pass onto others and hopefully help in the process as in any battle the more support you have the greater the chance of succes i am very glad i joined this forum

 

[Dollit]

Hi Stargazer (cool name!) and welcome to the forum. There is a school of thought that says that depression can be caused by anger turned inwardly. I know when I'm getting better from depression or I'm sinking in to it I get angry and boy does the whole world know.

It's a good place here - none of us are perfect but we fit together quite well.

 

[Twylight]

Hello Stargazer and Welcome

 

[honeyquince]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum!