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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Just thinking, feel free to post your thoughts

J

Joe_

Member
Joined
Aug 20, 2020
Messages
10
Location
Uk
Hi,

So I'm awake at stupid o'clock in the morning as usual, just thinking.

Do you ever just sit there and realise that every day is just the same thing over and over again? That the monotony of life is exhausting, and the prospect of anything exciting happening or having anything to look forward to is so slim?

It's a strange one because I dont find myself being particularly sad or empty, but instead just contemplating my existence. It sounds cringey, but that's the way it is.

The problem is I know I'm starting to spiral, and I know if I keep feeling this way and don't do anything about it that i will be sad and I will feel like shit by the time I go to sleep. And yet I don't want to do anything about it....almost like I want to be sad. And then I just sit there and feel guilty, because I feel like I'm doing it for attention. But I don't know if I am. I don't know what's going on.

To be honest with you I don't know what's going on in my head. A lot of the time my thoughts are so mixed up and jumbled that I can't make heads or tails of them, and I have absolutely no idea what makes me feel what, if that makes sense. I get different emotions mixed up and I misinterpret my own thoughts.

It's funny actually because sometimes my thoughts are going so fast and I struggle so much to see through the fog that I'll just randomly start stuttering mid sentence. I guess that's a good thing because my parents have learned now that when I stutter I'm clearly worried about something.

If you've made it this far through the post I want to let you know that you're not alone. People do understand, and most people want to help. So talk to someone, let them know what you're going through, start the healing process with little steps. It's going to be hard, I know that from personal experience. I'm nowhere near healed, but I'm making progress. You can do the same, just take each day at a time and take small steps. Sometimes you'll feel like you're taking one step forward and two steps back, but if you keep trying you'll get there eventually. It's a tough path, but it's worth it.

Just thought I'd share some thoughts and feelings. Feel free to do the same.
 
M

ManDss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 22, 2018
Messages
1,031
Location
Argentina
I know if I keep feeling this way and don't do anything about it that i will be sad and I will feel like shit by the time I go to sleep. And yet I don't want to do anything about it....almost like I want to be sad.
Actually thats pretty common among people who deal with depression. Depression makes you feel tired, also the problems the make you get depress arent easy to fix.

As I understood you, you deal with a monotonous life, thats the problem ? Well, Im sure theres more involved on that.

The thing is that is not an easy thing to fix. What someone wants its not up to oneself.

Try to find things to make you happy.
 
D

Deleted member 86004

Guest
To be honest with you I don't know what's going on in my head. A lot of the time my thoughts are so mixed up and jumbled that I can't make heads or tails of them, and I have absolutely no idea what makes me feel what, if that makes sense. I get different emotions mixed up and I misinterpret my own thoughts.
I relate to this so much. The most efficient ways I've been able to work through my thoughts (as oppose to just distracting myself from them, which is also good sometimes but I think it's good to do a bit of both) is to either create something or literally talk out loud to myself. Both of those have been incredibly hard for me to do lately, I just don't know what's going on with me. I miss myself. In some ways I am more myself than ever, more honest with myself I guess, but I still feel so distant.

I get emotions mixed up and misinterpret my own thoughts too, it was REALLY bad when I was realizing I had a crush, and started dating my partner now, I was just so confused with myself. I had to talk out loud to myself. Even if it starts out as a few words, or stuttering, maybe try it out...it's been interesting for me to see even when I don't know what to say, things eventually come up. I find myself at first repeating phrases like "I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what I want to do." but eventually...things come up
 
D

Deleted member 93758

Guest
Hi,

So I'm awake at stupid o'clock in the morning as usual, just thinking.

Do you ever just sit there and realise that every day is just the same thing over and over again? That the monotony of life is exhausting, and the prospect of anything exciting happening or having anything to look forward to is so slim?

It's a strange one because I dont find myself being particularly sad or empty, but instead just contemplating my existence. It sounds cringey, but that's the way it is.

The problem is I know I'm starting to spiral, and I know if I keep feeling this way and don't do anything about it that i will be sad and I will feel like shit by the time I go to sleep. And yet I don't want to do anything about it....almost like I want to be sad. And then I just sit there and feel guilty, because I feel like I'm doing it for attention. But I don't know if I am. I don't know what's going on.

To be honest with you I don't know what's going on in my head. A lot of the time my thoughts are so mixed up and jumbled that I can't make heads or tails of them, and I have absolutely no idea what makes me feel what, if that makes sense. I get different emotions mixed up and I misinterpret my own thoughts.

It's funny actually because sometimes my thoughts are going so fast and I struggle so much to see through the fog that I'll just randomly start stuttering mid sentence. I guess that's a good thing because my parents have learned now that when I stutter I'm clearly worried about something.

If you've made it this far through the post I want to let you know that you're not alone. People do understand, and most people want to help. So talk to someone, let them know what you're going through, start the healing process with little steps. It's going to be hard, I know that from personal experience. I'm nowhere near healed, but I'm making progress. You can do the same, just take each day at a time and take small steps. Sometimes you'll feel like you're taking one step forward and two steps back, but if you keep trying you'll get there eventually. It's a tough path, but it's worth it.

Just thought I'd share some thoughts and feelings. Feel free to do the same.
you put my feelings into words. i really felt the fog part, i use it a lot to describe my depression. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, you really made me feel like i'm not alone today.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,260
Location
Nashua NH
Whenever I start to feel that life is pointless and monotoñous I try not to think about it and focus on my task in the moment. I go from task to task, distraction to distraction until I have gotten through my day. I don’t know that it is the best way to deal with this but sometimes small actions, though monotonous, can develop their own meaning if you let it. xo, j
 
P

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
619
Location
UK
It's a strange one because I dont find myself being particularly sad or empty, but instead just contemplating my existence. It sounds cringey, but that's the way it is.
Try being spiritual, there is more to life but the main purpose to our lives is given in spirituality.
 
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