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Just started self harming

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Hector7

New member
Joined
May 20, 2018
Messages
3
I'm just fed up with feeling so inadequate and useless. I'm 34, living at home, currently unemployed and a failed drug addict. My feelings about all of this, the shame I've brought to myself and the ongoing pain I've caused to my parents. I also have an inability to act as your average human being. I suffer with extreme social anxiety and at times experienced long periods of agraphobia. I was clean during this time and trying to help myself and get help from services but they were useless.

Anyway, suicide has crossed my mind many times and I've had many failed overdoses. Now I'm self harming and abusing my medication script which helps to a degree but I don't want to be doped up. I want to learn how to cope with my mental pain constructively. I'm tired of all this and the self harming feels like a middle ground where the next step is suicide. Can anyone help me? I'm desperate.
 
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Hector7

New member
Joined
May 20, 2018
Messages
3
Someone tell me they understand, feel so alone.
 
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wheezey

Guest
Hello Hector. I am so sorry for all you are going through. Are you getting any support? You are on a medication so I am guessing you have seen a doctor. I really think you would benefit from some therapy. You have been through so much and talking things through will give you a chance to make sense of things.

There is no shame in having social anxiety and agrophobia. They are very upsetting conditions that can be helped through therapy. :hug1::hug1:
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
33,241
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi
please do not end your life ,you are so special and important to this world
im sorry to hear you have recently begun to self harm

the forum is here to listen and support

please take good care
love fairy lu x
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
Please stop self harming. You don't want to get infected or amputated. I tell every self harmer that. It is way to dangerous. I understand how you feel. I feel inadequate too. Sorry you feel that way. You are not inadequate though. You are just in a bad situation and are struggling right now. I hope you get better soon. :hug::hug::hug:
 
write

write

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Aug 4, 2017
Messages
1,601
Location
stuck
hi Hector. I understand how you feel. I don't believe it is possible to just "stop self harming". Is a desperate act to deal with desperate feelings. Hope you can find someone to trust who can help you to find safer ways to manage the awfulness. Maybe looking at harm minimisation would be useful to you if you're looking to manage what you're doing. Good luck x
 
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Hector7

New member
Joined
May 20, 2018
Messages
3
Thanks for the nice replies all. I am still self harming. I think like I said it stops the mental pain and the physical pain is more bearable and in a way its enjoyable. It's a rush if that makes sense. I don't want to end my life but those thoughts are there often. I'm looking into getting help so perhaps I'll find a way to stop and learn another way of dealing with pain.
 
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wheezey

Guest
It is really good you are looking into getting some support. I hope it helps you.
 
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IWILLOBTAINMENTALHEALTH

Guest
I am glad you are getting help. :clap: Good luck. :)
 
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eli_mom

Member
Joined
Feb 12, 2018
Messages
24
Hi Hector- I’m so sorry that you are having a hard time.

Welcome to the group! I'm glad that you are getting help. A Support group that you can meet regularly in person will help you not to feel alone and less lonely. Have a visit with your doctor regularly to help you with all your symptoms.

Please don’t harm yourself. According to research exercise is good for uplifting someone’s mood, I hope this will work you. I pray that you will feel better soon. Keep us posted, please know that we are here and we care for you. Take care.
 
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Barcud_Coch

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
51
Location
UK
I'm never going to tell someone to stop self harming, I understand when things are too much and you're not getting enough help, self harm fills many voids. It's not without risk, but as an alternative to a suicide attempt I'm all for that. Be fucking careful, seek medical help if you ever lose control. And seek mental health/ medical help regardless. It's not healthy, you need help, but don't beat yourself up for it. You're still alive, so you're winning! But get some CBT for the anxiety etc, counselling for depression etc. Shit gets better really slowly, but it does improve. I still hate my life, but compared to 5 years ago, I'm fucking living for this improvement! I'm rocking life now! You'll get there, be good to yourself!
 
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