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Just some things to get off my mind

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idonthaveanyidea

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
4
Location
France
Hey,
Don’t know how to introduce this so I just ain’t gonna.
I auto-diagnosed myself as depressed since I’ve had the « symptoms » pretty much all my life.
A girl on TikTok made a poem « Girls of honey and glass » that just put in words how I feel so perfectly. This made me realize I’m obviously not the only one feeling that way.
I also wrote something the other day that describes me well:
How come you can be surrounded by so many people and yet fell so lonely
I’m constantly aware of what I feel or think and it’s driving me crazy
There’s a cloud of thoughts in my head that just can’t go away
It’s here it’s there but it’s never far away
I wish I could shut theses thoughts and just be.

I think my brain is always thinking again and again, about everything single thing and it’s consuming me.
I question every remark I get, my head is analyzing everything and everyone, usually not in a good self-esteem way.
All of this makes me cry so much and make me wanting to be gone.
Nobody never noticed how I felt, and part of me is upset by that bc it’s like nobody’s paying attention but on the other side I can’t really be mad at them cause I never said anything and just keep hiding this part of myself. I’ve always been the joyful friend that gives good advices and never had any problems.
But that’s so not me, although I do give good advices (I think) but it’s like I’m carrying everybody’s troubles and adding it to mine.. idk how to express it, I’m not really good with words and expressing my feelings..

i think I would really benefit from a therapist but I just can’t picture myself telling this to anyone cause I can’t really put that into words and there’s so many people with so much bigger issues that I don’t really feel legitimate to complain..

if someone read all of this, thank you, I just needed someone, anyone, to know how I fell.
(Btw I am French so I apologize for the mistakes that I’ve probably made)
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
215
Location
Philippines
Music therapy helps me. I listen to good, uplifting and encouraging music on youtube. Listening to good music can make you think and feel better. Listen to it daily or as you need to.

Also, do what you love to do or do what you are good at. Is it cooking, baking, gardening, arts and crafts, writing and many others. It will make you happy and fulfilled.

It will really do you good to seek a therapist.
 
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idonthaveanyidea

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
4
Location
France
Thank you for your answer,
Do you have some musics to recommend? Bc I do listen to music but surely not the “right” ones.
 
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idonthaveanyidea

New member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
4
Location
France
And you talked about doing what I was good at but I can’t really do that because of my studies. I’m studying medecine which is very hard in my country and doesn’t leave me any time to do anything, and that surely doesn’t help my mental condition.
And for the therapy I know I should do that but I just can’t talk about it to someone I know, my parents have no idea of I feel so as my friends. i just don’t feel confortable with them knowing this fragile part of myself, idk how to explain this but that just seems impossible for me to tell them.
 
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