Just saying hello.

[catdom]

Hi. I'm 22, female and a uni student. I've been dealing with depression, anxiety and panic attacks ever since I was a kid, but back then I wasn't aware there was something wrong with me. The anxiety has always been pretty bad, depression was manageable in the past, until about 2-3 years ago when it started to get worse. That was also when I realized that I had to accept my disorders and not fight them anymore, open up to people, be honest about my mental and emotional state and mostly help myself survive. Every day is a struggle and sometimes it feels overwhelming not knowing how I'll be feeling tomorrow. I cried so much in the past months I didn't know I had so much hurt inside. Things are a little easier now as I'm starting to learn to be kinder to myself and accept that there are things I cannot fix or control, I can only do my best to get through the day and be proud of myself for still being alive.
I've lost most of my friendships because of mental illness, I was afraid of opening up to people and ghosted old friends because I couldn't be social anymore. The few friends that I have left are understanding people but they also struggle with their own demons and I don't want to exhaust them by reaching out to them all the time. I looked for online support groups to find a place where people share similar experiences and feelings, and found this forum where everyone seems to be so nice and accepting. It's so hard to find the right people to talk to and seek support, but it's harder to deal with everything alone.

 

[Shay94]

Hi, welcome to the forum. We don't judge here and do whatever possible to help each other out. I'm sorry to hear your depression/anxiety has been getting worse, its not easy trying to cope with mental illnesses alone. I'm pretty much the same as you, mine got worse bout 3 years ago due to family issues and I've been struggling ever since. All my "friends" ditched me when those issues arose up again so I was left unsure of who to trust or turn to when I needed to vent bout my shit. I eventually just had enough one day and stopped talking to people, several pretended to care but I knew they didn't as they immediately blocked me when I replied. The few friends you do have still supporting you, keep those people close by. I only have my partner & my best mate, got no one else and tbh, I feel better knowing I have those 2 that actually care and check up on me to make sure I'm okay. They may have their own demons to fight but listening to someone else's problems gives them a chance to distract their minds from whatever shit happens in their lives and help you in the process/vice versa. Feel free to msg me if you'd like to talk more, hope the advice helps

 

[toutatis]

Yes, welcome @catdom, it's very nice to have you aboard.

 

[Mayflower7]

Hi Catdom,
Welcome to the forum

 

[Dispatch]

welcome Catdom ... l suffer with anxiety as well for many years. I’m glad you found this forum

 

[catdom]

Hi, welcome to the forum. We don't judge here and do whatever possible to help each other out. I'm sorry to hear your depression/anxiety has been getting worse, its not easy trying to cope with mental illnesses alone. I'm pretty much the same as you, mine got worse bout 3 years ago due to family issues and I've been struggling ever since. All my "friends" ditched me when those issues arose up again so I was left unsure of who to trust or turn to when I needed to vent bout my shit. I eventually just had enough one day and stopped talking to people, several pretended to care but I knew they didn't as they immediately blocked me when I replied. The few friends you do have still supporting you, keep those people close by. I only have my partner & my best mate, got no one else and tbh, I feel better knowing I have those 2 that actually care and check up on me to make sure I'm okay. They may have their own demons to fight but listening to someone else's problems gives them a chance to distract their minds from whatever shit happens in their lives and help you in the process/vice versa. Feel free to msg me if you'd like to talk more, hope the advice helps

Thank you for your answer! It's not easy to maintain relationships with people when you're not feeling well. I've also had times where I got sick of pretending that I was ok when I wasn't, I felt like no one really cared about me and I wanted to stop talking to people. I still have two good friends and I'm glad that I didn't stop keeping in touch with them, they're the only ones who accepted me for who I was and understood why I behaved in certain ways when I was in a dark place. It's better to have a few good people in your life than to know many people who will leave you when you are hurting.

 

[catdom]

Yes, welcome @catdom, it's very nice to have you aboard.

Thank you so much! It's nice to be here.

 

[catdom]

Hi Catdom,
Welcome to the forum

Thank you!

 

[catdom]

welcome Catdom ... l suffer with anxiety as well for many years. I’m glad you found this forum

Thank you! I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling for so long. I'm glad to be here too, everyone is so nice

 

[Dispatch]

Thank you! I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling for so long. I'm glad to be here too, everyone is so nice

do you like cats

 

[GhostOfLenin]

Hi. I'm 22, female and a uni student. I've been dealing with depression, anxiety and panic attacks ever since I was a kid, but back then I wasn't aware there was something wrong with me. The anxiety has always been pretty bad, depression was manageable in the past, until about 2-3 years ago when it started to get worse. That was also when I realized that I had to accept my disorders and not fight them anymore, open up to people, be honest about my mental and emotional state and mostly help myself survive. Every day is a struggle and sometimes it feels overwhelming not knowing how I'll be feeling tomorrow. I cried so much in the past months I didn't know I had so much hurt inside. Things are a little easier now as I'm starting to learn to be kinder to myself and accept that there are things I cannot fix or control, I can only do my best to get through the day and be proud of myself for still being alive.
I've lost most of my friendships because of mental illness, I was afraid of opening up to people and ghosted old friends because I couldn't be social anymore. The few friends that I have left are understanding people but they also struggle with their own demons and I don't want to exhaust them by reaching out to them all the time. I looked for online support groups to find a place where people share similar experiences and feelings, and found this forum where everyone seems to be so nice and accepting. It's so hard to find the right people to talk to and seek support, but it's harder to deal with everything alone.

Well done for sharing. You will find this forum full of understanding people. We all have our various problems so your in good company xx

 

[catdom]

do you like cats

Yes, I love them. You can tell by my username, haha. I've been rescuing and taking care of stray cats ever since I was in high school. I like all animals but I feel connected to cats in particular. I think it's because I'm an introvert and cats are independent and have to trust someone well enough to give affection, which is something I can relate to.

 

[catdom]

Well done for sharing. You will find this forum full of understanding people. We all have our various problems so your in good company xx

Thank you! It's so good that there are places like this on the internet for people who don't usually have much support, talking to people who share similar experiences makes it easier to cope

 

[GhostOfLenin]

Yes, I love them. You can tell by my username, haha. I've been rescuing and taking care of stray cats ever since I was in high school. I like all animals but I feel connected to cats in particular. I think it's because I'm an introvert and cats are independent and have to trust someone well enough to give affection, which is something I can relate to.

Cats are amazing but you have not lived till you have been chased around a room by a business of ferrets

 

[Dispatch]

that’s awesome. Cats are independent that’s for sure lol