- Apr 17, 2010
This is my first post on here so i'm not sure if i'm posting in the right place. but oh well! so i have no real problems in my life yet i still feel low 24/7 i'm on citalopram 20mg (antidepressant) as pescribed by my doctor. i used to self harm when i was about 12-15 and i managed to stop myself but lately i have just been feeling so low that i want to do it again....i took an overdose back in november 2009 and stayed overnight in A and E whitch is when the doctors got in touch to put me on the medecation, i just dont understand why i feel so low, there are so many people in this world suffering and going through hell but still manage to look on the bright side!! like a girl i went to school with last year died of cancer and the whole way through her treatement she still managed to look on the brightside and be happy. but why me someone who has no real medical illness am i so unhappy....i just dont understand.....i go out alot with my friends and get really drunk and hope that something will happen to my drink like someone will spike it and i will end up in hospital or dead, why do i want something bad to happen to me? it really confuses me......i just dont get it....all evening ive been sat here punching myself to try and give myself a black eye and i just don't know why...if anyone else has or is ever felt like this please get in touch!