Just needed to let it out!

[shell]

I don't know whats wrong with me today. I went to my first Bipolar meeting Satuday and felt ok. Now its Monday the kids have gone back to school my husband has gone bk to work. I went back to bed this morning till lunchtime 12.00 to escape part of the day. I'm totally depressed about my weight my tummy is hanging over my jeans I feel like a fat useless piece of shit!!! I feel really anxious as well like scared all the time.

I took my afternoon depakote and now I'm crying sobbing I don't even know why. I really want to go back to work but I know I'm not stable and I'm worried how I will cope. My husband is putting more pressure on me saying if I lose my job he will feel pressure to work and that makes me feel so bad because he has already had one career. I hate having this diagnosis

I just can't stop crying I just feel like they are never going to get me stable. I have been off work for 4 months now.

 

[angel10]

I have now real advice for you sorry, all I can say is I'm still trying had to hold me job down however I did burst into tears in the middle of the office this afternoon......I got some very strange looks. Don't go back until you feel ready and stable

 

[shell]

I'm sorry your having a hard time soon. I hope things get better for you. x

 

[BORTU]

Hi, Life can be a bitch at times. Hang in there love, it can only get better.

 

[warriorprincess]

I really want to write a constructive letter to you but I'm sorry my heads not right there at mo, will try later on but I understand how you're feeling and will try and email you later and suggest somethings that may help, i don't know if they will but i hope so... Take care sweet, you do an amazing job and I really think you need to cut yourself some slack for the time being, hugamundos xxxx

 

[shell]

Just wanted to thank you all for your replies. Saw my pdoc on Friday and he has perscribed Carbamazepine 200mg three times a day. I'm going to build up gradually. I feel so drowsy on it fall asleep drowsy and sick. I know this is just the horrid side affect and I'm going to have to be patient and ride with it.
He has told me to come off the depakote I don't think it was doing anything really anyway. I'm cutting down on the seroquel as well. I really hope I start feeling better soon. Has anyone been on this drug and found it helpful ???? I think your all fantastic people I know when I'm feeling really bad I can come on and you understand. Thank you. xxxxx