Just need someone to talk to...

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SianCaitlin

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Joined
May 31, 2011
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1
#1
Okay so over the last couple of weeks I've been self harming nearly every night. I feel like I just can't cope with everything going on right now. I'm in the middle of sitting my exams and they're really stressing me out, but the thing that is getting to me most is the relationship I'm in. If anything goes wrong between us, the blame always gets shifted onto me, which makes me want to punish myself. However I don't want to leave as he is the only person I've really let in for the last 2 years and I would feel even more on my own without him. I just feel I need someone who understands to talk to as right now I feel completely lost and alone. All my friends think think self harmers are attention seekers, and this makes me feel more isolated. I know I do it to regain some control over my life, because people are constantly letting me down and hurting me, and at least by hurting myself I feel in control of the pain I experience. Sorry for a really long ramble, I just think my self harming is getting worse and worse and it would be really helpful to me just to know that I'm not alone with what I'm experiencing.

Thanks xxx
 
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lozza

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Joined
Jan 5, 2010
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414
Location
UK
#2
Hi hunni,

Your certainly not alone with this. I too have been through self harm and come out the other side, ok with alot of scars, but i have made it through, things could have been alot worse for me anyway. If you ever wanna talk you can talk to me. Send me a PM or something?

Hope your okay xx
 
calypso

calypso

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#3
Hello and :welcome: to the forum

You cannot change everything that goes on in your life. But those that you might be able to change should be tackled first. The things you cannot change, need a change in your reaction to them. That was easy??? No of course not. You can change your boyfriend's understanding. It is really hard to change the way you have been brought up. So if he came from a very critical family, he will automatically resort to criticism as his norm. Its very hard not to react, but maybe get a good time when both of you are relaxed, and tell him about his family's culture and how he still follows those rules. But make sure that you match it with the problems your family culture left in you. Perhaps talk about how you can help each other.

That may not work, but its worth a try. The things you can't change, like exams, then your approach to them could change? I used to say to myself, Right, what is the worst thing that could happen? Fail the lot. Ok, after panic, what would you do? take them again, go and find another way to go forward? etc. Right I've now faced the worst that could happen, anything else is a bonus. It calmed me down. What I am trying to say is, no matter what parents and schools say, it is not the end of the world if you don't do well. There is always a plan B, there is always another way to approach things.

SH is a symptom, not an illness in its own way. You have learnt to feel guilty if someone criticises you. I would argue you learnt that in your family. The guilt transforms into SH. You could start realising that you are a goddess, you are a great woman, and that boy friend of yours is lucky to have you!! Take Care xxxx
 
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