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Just need some support

J

JMT101

Guest
Hi
I've never posted on a forum before but I feel I need to talk to someone as I am having a few issues with food.
I've suffered from depression and anxiety in the past and as part of that, food has always been a bit of a symptom - eating too much or eating too little.
However lately it has changed.
Last year I split with my long term boyfriend and as part of the healing process, I hit the gym hard and consequently lost lots of weight. I am by no means underweight, I was bordering on being overweight when I started, so I am thrilled with what I have achieved.
However since about Sept, I've been binge eating. It started off with a box of celebrations which I ate over a couple of hours. Since then the binges have gone from happening every few weeks, to about 1-2 times per week, and I eat anything I can find in the house or if I have nothing, I will go out and get something, generally chocolate or biscuits, which I consume as fast as I can - I can eat a pack of digestives in about 10mins!
I am really worried as I don't want to put all that weight back on plus I know it's not good for me. I don't purge afterwards as I can't (I wish I could sometimes).

I don't know how to stop myself from binging in the first place, after every binge I feel really down and angry with myself and keep saying "that was the last time", but then a week or so later, I'll do it again.

Can anyone give me any advice as to how I can stop doing this please!
 
C

claire30

Member
Joined
Mar 24, 2010
Messages
9
Hi,
sorry i cant give you the best advice ever because this stupid ED is just ruining my life at present.
Do you see anyone (GP, Counsellor) for your Bingeing?
I cant possibly tell you what to do to stop, as i would be a total hypocrite, but i know that when i have been through stages of bingeing (Bulimia-so would compulsively exercise after/use laxatives etc), my counsellor has told me that if you restrict too much, then your body will override your will to restrict, and MAKE you eat..so the most sensible thing is to eat 3 healthy meals a day, plus 2-3 snacks. That way, your body is getting regular food, at regular times, and wont feel the need to binge.
Easier said than done for me though!!
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Eating a balanced diet and regulary as Claire said is a good way to help prevent the urge to binge if it is coming from hunger. Low GI foods which are said to give a more sustained and balanced energy I found can also help to fend off those binges and help my moods be more balanced (not getting the sugar highs or lows).

You can emotionally binge too. Sometimes when I binged stuffing the food down was like swallowing my feelings and emotions. I saw purging as a good way to finally get rid of those feelings. However it would only last a short while until the hunger set in and set the cycle off again.

I found it helpful to keep a food diary so i knew what I was really eating, and whether what I classed as a binge really was a binge compared to what I had or hadn't eaten that day. A packet of biscuits lets say may not seem like a huge binge if you have not eaten anything at all that day. I'd say it was your healthy part of you trying to fight back. The food diary would also include how I felt whilst eating and afterwards to see if there are any recurring themes to when I did/didn't eat or binge.

I also found it helpful not to purchase foods I binged on or have them in the house. I made sure that if I wanted to binge I would have to shop for it, which left me more time to reconsider what I was about to do. Or if any foods were "forbidden" I would ensure a small amount of them were in my diet to ensure some of my appetite for them was satiated, for example if I wanted some chocolate, I would have so many squares then my hubby would have to hide it somewhere I couldn't find it, to help it not turn into a binge.

Ensuring you binge in a different place to where you have your regular meals I found can help too, so you don't associate regular eating with bingeing.

You can always stop yourself mid-binge. If you have a second thought I found it helpful to make the food inedible by putting bleach on it or pouring water on it or something, to ensure I couldn't go back at a weak moment.

I haven't binged or purged in a long time now. Although I need to get my head sorted around it all, I have managed to break the cycle by taking some practical steps.

My issue is around lack of hunger at the mo. If you have any tips for that, they would be greatly appreciated! ;)
 
J

JMT101

Guest
Hi
Thanks both for those pieces of advice. Had a tricky night last night as soooo wanted to binge it was horrible, couldn't stop thinking about food and then feeling guilty about the weight I have put on the last week or so. I don't tend to keep any nice food in the house so I have to go out and get something when I feel the need which does help I guess. However it does mean I tend to buy a lot more! I count my calories but it might help to write a food diary as well so I can identify why I might feel the need to binge. I can't see a GP about this just yet, I don't feel ready to talk to anyone face to face about it. I might try to find some healthy snacks to have during the day at work - my job is quite dull so I seem to think about food a lot more during the day. I'll have to look into the low GI foods as well. I have found a mug of hot chocolate makes me feel quite full and satisfies the sugar craving, only 40cals per mug too.

Hmm, will have a think about the lack of feeling hungry, I've had that in the past too so will try to remember what I did.

xx
 
J

JMT101

Guest
Well it's been a really bad couple of weeks. I was doing ok - 2 days without bingeing, and then I got made redundant from my job. Since then I've been out of control, eating up to about 6000 calories on some days, vowing I wouldn't do it again, and then a day or so later, eating a shed load more. I've been going to the gym every day but it's not enough and I've put on weight so now my clothes are starting to feel uncomfortable. I've been taking laxatives and have tried to make myself vomit but can't seem to do it. I think I've reached rock bottom and I guess the only way is up. I've resurrected the Excel calorie counter I put together and planned my food for each day and what I am going to buy from the supermarket - and also detailed what I won't buy if I have a moment of weakness. I don't even binge because I am hungry, sometimes I am completely stuffed and I eat more anyway. I seem to favour chocolate, particularly biscuits, rather than savoury food. I'm not sure what I get out of stuffing my face, I feel really guilty afterwards and worry about putting on weight. I spent £15 on binge food last week, which I ate in less than a day - that's about the same as what I spend on a week's shopping! As I am now jobless I can't afford to do that anymore but I'm not sure that will stop me. I'm not sure what the point of this post is, apart from just being able to talk about something I've not told anyone!

Vent/ rant over... !
:)
 

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