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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Just my problems

I

ILoveCats

New member
Joined
Jun 7, 2021
Messages
1
Location
America
I have no idea how to start this.
But hi
I'm a very anxious person, since a few years already.
Things are going pretty well in my life, except when something happens, I can't deal with it anymore. I used to manage depression and social anxiety pretty well since I was used to it.
Now I feel weaker than I was.
I have a girlfriend, who I deeply love and our relationship is kind of intense.
I would do anything for her.
But she has low confidence and so much badluck
Today, I was called back by a job we both applied for
She wasn't, as always.
She says it's fine, she's used to it
But I know it hurt her a lot, because she is never choosen, and I am always.
I don't know what to do, and I don't seem to be the right person to comfort her.
Now she locked herself in our room and is talking to her best friend, sounding all happy and cheerful
It's great. But there's so much tension between us whenever she comes out of it.
I cried, while it's a job I really wish to get.
And I'm feeling pretty pathetic and depressed. I was nauseous all day and my head hurts like hell.
My family wouldn't understand why I'm so affected by the fact that she wasn't called back for the job.
I don't have friends, since I hate to engage in something and to be responsible of other people's feelings.
I just needed to talk it out, and even here, it's less than half what I needed to say.
 
miss_sensitivity

miss_sensitivity

Well-known member
Joined
May 12, 2021
Messages
319
Location
New Zealand
Hello, and welcome to the forum. It sounds like you really care about your partner, how long have you been together?
Me and my partner are both in recovery and for us, it's important to find the balance of looking after ourselves so that we can support the other in a healthy manner. In this particular situation you mention, it's great that she was able to talk to her friend and feel good, but it shouldn't be at the expense of you feeling hurt or left in the dark - it's important to have open communication on both ends. And you know, it's okay for her to feel hurt about missing out on this job. However, I feel it is just as important to be able to celebrate your success. Relationships are give-give.
Is going to therapy together something you would consider?
 
zula77

zula77

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 10, 2021
Messages
83
Location
York
She's lucky to have you! I know what you mean about friends, it's hard work maintaining friendships but it can help to talk about things, hopefully the forum helps with that. Yes I agree that communication is so important- don't bottle up your feelings. Also its only natural that you feel bad but you should be proud you got called back for the job, that's great (y)
 

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