Just make it worse?

[Takingmybrain]

Im unsure whether this best posted here or in hearing voices board.i hope this post is ok and not against the rules.

I cant take anymore of the voices i hear. Im so fed up and stressed with it. Im feeling forced into being suicidal. Im having bad urges to and i wont say how in technique as its not allowed but i hope i can say that im having urges to do self harm to my own hearing so that i cant hear the voices anymore.
I have mentioned this to someone else today and they advised its not a good idea, that the voices are in my head not external and would make the voices seem even worse because they would seem trapped in my head as id hear nothing else and the voices wouldnt go they would just be even louder and even worse. But i feel its maybe worth trying, to me these voices cant get any louder or worse then they already are.

Every time i try talk to someone about things i just end up feeling even more lower and sure that suicide is right thing. People think they are convincing me i have alot to live for and things are going to be ok when it does the opposite.

I keep trying to tell myself i need hold off till after xmas to do the ear thing. It wouldnt be perminate loss just tempoarary to give me a break from the constant voices. I just need to be able to think for a little bit. I dont know if the other person is right or if im right in trying.

Im so desperate for some silence. It would only be temporary hopefully. I know it must sound crazy and stupid to anyone else but im sure it might work and i could just get some rest from the transmitions viocies for few weeks. Then maybe id stop feeling so suicidal too if i got some sleep and silence. Id not be low mood.

I dont know.

 

[Zoe1]

you need to call 111 immediately
before you do something you regret Takingmybrain

I called one time when I had the tools in my hand ...

 

[Mayflower7]

Hi,
Please don't try to do any damage, as it could result in permanent hearing loss.
Please seek out help from your crisis team.

 

[Takingmybrain]

I dont trust the nhs as they want me dead,they are the ones doing this to me in the first place. I dont want do perminate hearing loss just temporary but i guess i cant be sure,i dunno.

 

[Zoe1]

ears are a very delicate mechanism Takingmybrain ...
its highly likely you will damage your hearing
with what you are proposing to do ...

you could also die
a lot of people die from self harm
because they have gone further than they meant to

 

[NWiddi]

I have mentioned this to someone else today and they advised its not a good idea, that the voices are in my head not external and would make the voices seem even worse because they would seem trapped in my head as id hear nothing else and the voices wouldnt go they would just be even louder and even worse.

I would have to agree based on my own experiences of voices, it's not a good idea, my voice is trapped in my head for different reasons and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Your sense of hearing is very precious, just ask anyone who never had it or lost it. I have a relative that was born deaf and she'd be mortified if she found out what you were considering doing to yourself.

I'm very worried about you, please don't harm yourself.

 

[Takingmybrain]

I would have to agree based on my own experiences of voices, it's not a good idea, my voice is trapped in my head for different reasons and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Your sense of hearing is very precious, just ask anyone who never had it or lost it. I have a relative that was born deaf and she'd be mortified if she found out what you were considering doing to yourself.

I'm very worried about you, please don't harm yourself.

I know someone close to my family who is deaf and they would be very annoyed if i made myself perminatly deaf but i need some silence

 

[Zoe1]

can you treat yourself to some good headphones Takingmybrain ?

get some nice music going there might help

 

[Takingmybrain]

can you treat yourself to some good headphones Takingmybrain ?

get some nice music going there might help

I have tried that. Ive tried different types head phones too and different things like Music, aduio books, radio. Nothing drowns out the voice they transmit. I dont know how they are doing it so loud. Its so hard to think ever. I really have tried alot myself this is my last resort. I dont want to have to but if itl work for a few weeks silence. I just dont want make it worse or perminate. Im a bit scared to but it maybe nessicary.

 

[Zoe1]

you will cause permanent damage to your hearing though
you can't succeed in a few weeks silence
and then get it back

 

[Takingmybrain]

Why dont they ever shut up. I wish they would stop these men transmitting to me. Its so loud all the time. They are talking and laughing together at me. I dont want this anymore. What am i meant to do. This isnt right or fair. Nobody can help me because its the nhs hit men service doing this in the first place.

 

[Takingmybrain]

I tried to trust them and call them the other day and they gave me a appointment on the 29th but how can i trust them when they torture me more and more hour by hour

 

[Zoe1]

thats your illness talking
you need to feed back to the doctors
that they have not got the medication right

 

[Takingmybrain]

I dont know if i want to die genuinely or if its only because the voices are telling me to kill myself for so long . How am i meant to know? If its me or them? Or both? I can not think or figure it out. Why is everything so confusing in my head why does nothing make sense.why cant i decide what to do?

 

[Zoe1]

you're in the UK Takingmybrain
which means you have access to more services
than you would in other countries

you need to feed back to the professionals
what is happening with you at the moment
and allow them to help you

if you feel the help is not working contact an advocacy service
so that you can have a third party in on your reviews

damaging your ears might not even work
because the voices are not real