Just got back from the doctors.....

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livefree1

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2009
Messages
10
#1
Well today was the day I poured my heart out to my G.P about my 'problem!' which is social anxiety of eye contact, (its just too uncomfortable and feels un natural and I feel that people can tell, which has led me to be depressed). Was embarrassing cos as soon as I walked in the room I started to cry!
Think it was a mixture of feeling stupid, afraid and cos I should have done it sooner, over a year ago when I first started feeling this way, although I just thought it would go away on its own.

Its very strange having to tell a stranger your inner most feelings but hey ho I did it and she has prescribed me to start on citalopram 10mg. I have to go back in 4 weeks to see how im doing but she warned me that the first 3-4 weeks, symptoms of anxiety will be worse! :(

I hope this starts my road to recovery. Though i must admit, I will miss a glass of wine on Christmas Day.

Sorry for the ramble on but just wanna say that if anyone else is scared to go to their G.P that they should take courage and do it. Dont put it off like I did, I have wasted a year being miserable when I could have been getting help.

Take care people. x
 
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LoneWolf

New member
Joined
Dec 16, 2009
Messages
1
#2
Hi there - I just had to post a reply as you made me think of myself so much!

A few years back when I was at uni I also found eye contact really difficult and my social phobia grew to the point I couldn't speak to people to order food, stand in a queue or even pay at a till in a shop or anything. In the end I wrote everything down on a piece of paper and went to see my GP - I also burst into tears as soon as I walked in the room, and handed over my piece of paper. The doctor was very understanding and organised some counselling sessions with my university. They really helped, and although my anxiety is far from gone, it definitely improved and I no longer had panic attacks or the same degree of fear of speaking or looking at people.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I agree with livefree - don't suffer in silence - even if it means writing things down and posting them to your GP, or taking a letter in, so you don't need to actually speak. It is hard, but once you've done it the relief is immense!

Well done!! (y)
 
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livefree1

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2009
Messages
10
#3
Thankyou- its a really awful anxiety to have as you will know. Think its due to really low self esteem. Its just crippling at the moment. Feel like im living with a secret because I have never told anyone, friends, boyfriend about this. I know its just in my head, own worst enemy!

Im so glad i found this site and others who understand. x :)
 
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halflife

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
18
#4
in the same boat

hi :D
Im also srtuggling with this at the moment! Im even thinking about dropping out of college...the eye contact and blushing is really getting to me and i feel like an outsider, i dont talk to anyone...ive started new medication for about a month now(mirtazapine) but it doesnt seem to be getting better atall, it only helps with sleeping....this sucks!
I've also started 10mg citalopram about 3times in the past (im 20) and remember my anxiety getting worse at the beginning...hope its not to bad for you, but i've never carried on taking it for more than 2 or 3 months, cant seem to remember why, my memorys awful!
hope it works for you :) x
 
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Dawnothy

New member
Joined
Jan 11, 2010
Messages
3
Location
Neath, Wales
#5
Stick with it

Amongst other things i suffer with similar circumstances to you. I started on citalopram last February, everyone is different, but for me, it didn't do anything. I went from 10mg, 20mg, 40mg and finally to 60mg (the top dose for citalopram) and still nothing. My doctor has now put me on duloxetine 60mg (which is in the same family as citalopram) and still nothing, but I am remainging hopefully that they will find something that works for me. I really just wanted to say to give it time, citalopram, and other antidepressants, take time to work, and if you do feel things getting worse, it is a good sign that the drug is working and it will get better.....stick with it!

As for the glass of wine at xmas, i was told when i was on citalopram that you can have the occasional tipple now and then, so not all doom and gloom!

Hope things work out for you x :)
 
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livefree1

Member
Joined
Dec 7, 2009
Messages
10
#6
Thanks for your comments.
Halflife, dont drop out of college, dont let it beat you or take control of you! I have found ways to control my blushing and found that its the initial build up of fear that is worse than the actual blush. If you feel that you are going to blush just carry on as if you have not noticed, its really hard but just tell yourself that you dont care, its probably worse in your head than anyone elses. Some people think blushing is quite endearing!
Im just trying to stay positive, its bloody hard though! The citalopram isnt really making a difference so far, just feel more anxious and a loss of appetite! Im sticking with it though, I waited till Jan to start taking it properly actually, might have to go back to doctors though and get a stronger dose, who knows?

Good to know I can still have the odd drink, thanks for that.

Just want to forget about this whole eye contact thing, its changed me as a person and i hate it!!!!! :( I had it when i was younger and just kinda forgot about it, hoping it will happen again soon!