Just feel pointless

M

Mlutter

New member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
3
#1
I don't value life anymore. I am so sad and depressed everyday. I'm 18 and just finished education. I broke up with my girlfriend recently. She was the world to me. She made me happy and we were in love. We met when we were both 16 and thought we would spend the rest of our lives together. Around our 1 year anniversary she cheated on me and it sent me on a downward spiral. After that she belittled and tried to abuse me every day 24/7 I broke up with her. She begged me for months to come back together. A few weeks ago her brother died. So I thought it would make her happy if I went back with her. Instead I just get abused all the time [emotionally not physically]. I have broken up with her again. I miss the old her. She gave me purpose and fulfilment in life. It's all gone now. My heads a mess I'm not the same person anymore. Before we got together again I did try talk to other girls but none were interested and it was never the same. Before we broke up the first time she became very controlling. I have lost all my friends because of her. I feel so alone I have no one anymore. I have tried online to make friends but nothing goes anywhere. I do wish I had a girlfriend again but it is highly unlikely. I can't find happiness in anything anymore. I would never killmyself as I'm not brave enough for that. But I just feel like everyday I'm waiting for death. I just want it all to be over. I was very depressed before I met her but nothing like what I'm expierencing now. I feel too worn down to give a further more detailed account of what's going on. I'm just looking for advice on what to do.
 
M

Mlutter

New member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
3
#2
It's worth noting my confidence and self esteem is non exsistent. We were in a long distance relationship and only met several times a year. Trust was everything. I'm always left wondering why I'm not good enough. But really I think it's just me
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 4, 2013
Messages
8,781
Location
England
#3
Hi,
Welcome to the forum
Sorry about your relationship, you absolutely did the right thing ending it. Your ex has problems and she was taking it out on you.
You will in time get over her, try meeting new people.
Depression is horrible, have you had any treatment or therapy? Counselling can be very effective.
Here to listen whenever you need to talk.
Take care
 
M

Mlutter

New member
Joined
Jul 1, 2018
Messages
3
#4
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me. I struggle when it comes to meeting new people. I've never really been good at dating. I have tried online dating quite a bit and nothing goes my way. It's very demoralising and makes everything a lot worse because I'm making no progress. I have not had treatment of therapy and personally I would never take myself there I don't have the money or the willpower/confidence to go.
 

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