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Just don't know what to do anymore



New member
Aug 14, 2016
Hi my name is Nicolette. I'm 23, have 16 month old son, and live in Florida with my boyfriend. I recentely moved here from my home state of New York to try to be happy and make it on my own, but my mental issues are really holding me back. I feel like nothing makes me happy anymore. I feel like everyone and everything around me is bothering me or making me angry and anxious. In my past i have dealt with a lot of crap, so i know where a lot of my depression stems from. But i feel like all of that is behind me so i should be able to push through better than I've been doing. On most days if my son won't stop whining or crying i get angry to the point of tears and feel like just giving up. My boyfriend helps with my son but he brings his own set of issues. He is what I would define as an effeminate guy.. He seems to act more "feminine" and dramatic than the usual guy. Everything I say to him is the end of his world and he shuts down or just walks out of the house and leaves me here, blaming his issues on me. If I say anything in the world that he doesn't agree with he makes it very clear he doesn't agree by rolling his eyes, sighing, or just flat out arguing with me like his views are the only ones that matter. He has low testosterone so we basically have no sex life and he does nothing to please me because he never thinks about sex as something a couple should regularly do. He gree up very sheltered and had no good male role model so i try to find excuses for him but I'm running out of excuses. He is clearly an issue, but sometimes i wonder if I'd be more able to deal with his crap if I wasn't so depressed and desparate for affection and having somebody i enjoy to be around. I basically sit home all day with my son because I can't afford daycare for him, so i have plenty of time to wallow in my own misery... My family isn't supportive at all. My mother still lives in New York and she will talk to me about anything but her reactions are always to tell me everything i feel is normal and to just deal with it... So that's not helping me. All i want to accomplish is being able to go a day without wanting to cry or give up. I hate being what is basically a single parent. I hate not having real support from anybody besides a psychiatrist. I hate feeling like a short tempered, shitty parent because i am always so tired and on edge.. I just want to sleep all day and count the hours until my day is over :sorry:


Aug 14, 2016
Hi Nicollette. Im new to this site and this is my first reply to a post.

Im 34, a father of 2 and im married. I know how hard it is having children, its damn hard, so demanding of all your time and resources. I dont know how i would cope with being a single parent. Your situation with your boyfriend seems to be a big source of your issues. If he was helping you instead of hindering and making things harder your life would be so much easier. The sex thing struck a cord with me. My wife is like your boyfriend in that sex is an after thought, i think i tbeast year we have had sex 3 or 4 times,and thats from me really trying it on with her. Sex is great,but when you have to reallt try hard be intimate its off putting and not what it should be about. I dont know why my wife is like this,she says she tired alot but arent we all? Im a good looking guy and look after myself.Once a week would be nice,damn id take omce a month at tbis rate. I think physical contact and sex with your other half is very important so i totally understand how you feel. You have the parter but none of the benefits,why bother?

Does he know how you feel? Is he worth keeping? Can you work at it,try approaching sex a different way?


Jun 20, 2015
I agree with Mark Jo you need to talk to your boyfriend and work this out.This means having a talk where he listens and understands that if this isn't sorted there may be consequences he won't like or want,like you two splitting up.Can I ask is your boyfriend under the doctor for his low testosterone as maybe treating it will improve things in the bedroom?I hope you can work this out between you.Otherwise you may find there is more help and more resources for you if you really were a single parent.
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