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Just broke and contacted my favourite person

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DimpleDebz

Active member
Joined
May 4, 2021
Messages
42
Location
Munich
I've been doing well. No contact since February. It was a toxic relationship filled with cheating, lost pregnancies, abuse, stds (him to me) and general narcissistic tendencies such as gaslighting. I definitely trauma bonded. I moved away from the UK to Germany to be away from him but still saw him when I came home on holidays. The last time we spoke, I had a very borderline episode and he proved yet again that he doesn't really care about me. I really think the sex is what brings us together, then it is so great we convince ourselves that we are still in live but cannot be together. Ergh it's been an 8 year cycle. Anyway, I've been doing great with no contact until I dreamt about him last night and sent of a message today asking if he is ok. He is. I've said great and take care. But I'm so mad at myself for even contacting someone who made my life a living hell. Also, it's going to be bloody difficult not to continue the conversation. I guess I just need to vent
 
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flower24

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2021
Messages
59
Location
South Yorkshire
Hi Dont be too hard on your self, the only way for you to truly move on is to cut all contact have no way of contacting him x
 
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Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
2,295
Location
nowhere
So you start over with no contact. This time it will last.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
8,615
Location
Nashua NH
I've been doing well. No contact since February. It was a toxic relationship filled with cheating, lost pregnancies, abuse, stds (him to me) and general narcissistic tendencies such as gaslighting. I definitely trauma bonded. I moved away from the UK to Germany to be away from him but still saw him when I came home on holidays. The last time we spoke, I had a very borderline episode and he proved yet again that he doesn't really care about me. I really think the sex is what brings us together, then it is so great we convince ourselves that we are still in live but cannot be together. Ergh it's been an 8 year cycle. Anyway, I've been doing great with no contact until I dreamt about him last night and sent of a message today asking if he is ok. He is. I've said great and take care. But I'm so mad at myself for even contacting someone who made my life a living hell. Also, it's going to be bloody difficult not to continue the conversation. I guess I just need to vent
I agree with what everyone else has posted. You continuing to contact him is part if the weaning process. Clearly you aren’t entirely ready to let go of him yet. You may have to force yourself to not contact them as they are not good for you and have no place in your life moving forward. Erase all of their contact info if you must. xo, j
 
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DimpleDebz

Active member
Joined
May 4, 2021
Messages
42
Location
Munich
Thanks for the comments guys. Really appreciate it. Trust me, I know I shouldn't retain a way of contacting him but believe me when I say this weaning process has taken years and deep down, I know I won't be over it until I am happily in a long term relationship. I don't want to be with him and I have had relationships since and been happy. I do know that it also having to do with being in limbo when I eventually go home. I won't delete his number as I'm not ready to. I need to continue to be happy and focused in my life, know that I could contact him, but choose not to. It gives me more power than not contacting him because I can't. Perhaps this explains it abit. But you are all completely right, no contact starts again as of 3 hours ago 💪🏾 He is no good for me, he is an energy vampire ans has no place in the life I am creating for myself. Thank you again. I'm so glad I've found this forum full of people who just get it 🧡
 
lavenderfire

lavenderfire

Well-known member
Joined
May 10, 2021
Messages
176
Location
australia
I've been doing well. No contact since February. It was a toxic relationship filled with cheating, lost pregnancies, abuse, stds (him to me) and general narcissistic tendencies such as gaslighting. I definitely trauma bonded. I moved away from the UK to Germany to be away from him but still saw him when I came home on holidays. The last time we spoke, I had a very borderline episode and he proved yet again that he doesn't really care about me. I really think the sex is what brings us together, then it is so great we convince ourselves that we are still in live but cannot be together. Ergh it's been an 8 year cycle. Anyway, I've been doing great with no contact until I dreamt about him last night and sent of a message today asking if he is ok. He is. I've said great and take care. But I'm so mad at myself for even contacting someone who made my life a living hell. Also, it's going to be bloody difficult not to continue the conversation. I guess I just need to vent
More struggles, good thing you are strong. Delete their number.
 
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