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Just been accepted to a minimum stay of 12 weeks maybe longer if needed

sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Sorry i'm late replying :low: the one toe is more painful than the other and the sores which develop are at first then lose a yellow liquid with could be used for clue very sticky..looked it up it's leakage from the glands, then they go itchy :cry2:
that sucks my nails are growing back on big toes it looks like i need surgery on the left one it just grows curled and also prone to infection do you think it will get better soon ? much love my dude
 
Warrior

Warrior

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Today was not good actually a fucking shit day i may take a break from posting
1564768682102.png i went to church on sunday you know :rofl2::rofl2::rofl2:

By what's I've read your last two days haven't been to good and I know your pushing through pain barriers but watch over doing it with your feet :hug:

They tried me with all that community lark and sitting in classes chatting, no way I wouldn't have it and the best one was when they drawed patterns on paper and I had to colour them in paint, therapeutic apparently :whistle:

Hows you day been :panic:
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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View attachment 17080 i went to church on sunday you know :rofl2::rofl2::rofl2:

By what's I've read your last two days haven't been to good and I know your pushing through pain barriers but watch over doing it with your feet :hug:

They tried me with all that community lark and sitting in classes chatting, no way I wouldn't have it and the best one was when they drawed patterns on paper and I had to colour them in paint, therapeutic apparently :whistle:

Hows you day been :panic:
just about to post it quite a aggressive day/night
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Today did not get off to a good start the 60mg of codeine makes you sleepy as fuck. Getting up is actually really hard it is the exact same when you have no energy and on max dose of anti-depressents. So good a good start did the generic shower get dressed then make breakfast. A new habit i am trying to keep. the day was quite low going through some demons etc just in thoughts and processing stuff from psychology session. Which feels like the one of weirdest painful things ive done it just hits you then you breakdown. But moving on i had to reasess/change my care plan because i accomplished everything that was set so time to add more things :) good things right ?

Also not to mention the OT who was with me for 1 hour everyday is leaving next week so you know that is hard really helped me grow and i trust her which is hard for me :low: want to cry but more so happy tears just could not find the right emote. After that went on a dog walk spoke to the new patient really cool guy he is new showing him the ropes just like shortcuts i would of liked another patient to tell me. I wont go into any detail about what he said to me its not my place to say but he is here to improve and sort out issues like us all in the world.

Came back had lunch with the new patient he was really nervous like extremely about a session he was going to have so i stayed with him talking until 15mins before hes session because i had the gym. He was thankful i told him he will be good the people he is going to see are amazing. Then went into the gym crushed the workout turns out i didnt really regress just like my dude Warrior said get back into the swing of things :hug:

Then went into room sat around for 2 hours was fucked still from that huge walk yesturday combined with the one i did today and the workout also the meds are still effecting me. I am not overwhelmed just more things happening so its a good thing like Lunar said if it was easy you would be doing it write sorta para phrasing but thank you Lunar our Queen :hug:

Then had dinner not much more but later on it got bad so i was going to go out for a walk but. I was not feeling it i already had a walk but i had some thoughts on a sheet of questions i had to answer for psychology these are like the most in depth gut wrenching questions and the detail i went into it will matter later.

So fast forward 9pm have meds for feet pain go into canteen with my paper and the sheet i need to do. Now let me give you some context there is another patient who is not stupid or crazy but knows what he does he intentionally stares at you and smirks and laughs walking past the door every second for a few seconds then walks off does it again then again. Now let me give more context i brought this issue up multiple times in ward round where you discuss issues i will also say that other patients have the same complaint so this is not just a me and him thing he does it to 1 other patient who i am friendly with that doesnt come out of hes room just on the basis this guy will stare and smirk at laugh him while he eats this guy who does this is a massive ****. so anyway nothing has happened all we get told is cant you stay in your room ????????? So you want us to not use the hospital ? You want us to let him walk over us NA NA NA i was not in the mood i was in the canteen writing some gut wrenching memories for this psychology thing my psychologist wanted me to write a part came up about bullies and people taking advantage of me. I was very emotional THEN i have this **** smirking lauging staring at me.

He did it i went off i waited for him to walk past picked up a chair and launched it at him he didnt decide to walk past SLAM BANG all the nurses come to me. They assumed the other patient did it because thats the type of thing he does i told them what he did and has done and nothing has been done to solve it so i threw a chair to give the message stop or i am going to go for you. I told the nurses i was quite irate if he does it again i am going to strangle him. I said you know i am fine 99 percent of the time but when i am in a bad mood and moment and a certain type of person who intentionally i repeat intentionally trying to aggregate me i turn into another person complete 180 i was going to murder him or at the very least seriously hurt him IF he carried on this is not on i dont deserve or anyone on the ward to have to deal with this dickhead that sorry does nothing is a **** to staff and takes the piss with everyone who is going through mental health problems. you may say well he is aswell but i tell you this for a fact he knows what he is doing and gets away with it so hopefully now he nearly got a chair to the dome he will sorted out or moved. if he does it again then i will hurt him i dont take peoples shit anymore. this is a step forward for me

Most reasonable people i will solve conflict with words but certain people need to get physical because nothing happens to them because they are ***** who egg you on then play the victim

Sorry for rant but this actually felt good after so i was asked would you like to stay here in the canteen i said no ill go to my room just please keep him away from me because i cant promise you i wont go for him i wont be antagonised on the ward

most likely it will happen again then i hurt him but lets see or they move him or me to the other side of the ward its pointless though i will still see him anyway thats it for me today was meh didnt do many things but ill keep trying right ? head up lads and ladies x much love
 
G

goodgollymiss

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Please don't get violent because then you might get antipsychotics which are worse on your body than anti depressants
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Please don't get violent because then you might get antipsychotics which are worse on your body than anti depressants
Not sure if you read the thread but i am a informal patient they cant/wont give me anything without my consent it doesn't work like that in my subjective experience
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Today was sorta good i did miss a few things i wanted to do but i will state my day then what else i intended to do. Woke up did the generic shower brush teeth. Forgot to do my morning beauty routine the last 3 days so i need to do that again i do always do it at night but for the full effects 2 is optimal. So had a fry up it was in portion control also i stopped having bread as much before it was in the morning and at lunch and at night so i cut it down to 1 time a week with meal then 2 slices for lunch brown bread because it is healthier. But i prefer white that shit is like crack to me. So had 2 sausages, baked heinz beans of course, 2 slices of bacon, 2 slices of toast with a tiny bit of butter. Went back to sleep the codeine makes you nod off i am going to try fight through it tomorrow putting in countermeasures eg after breakfast i wont return into room for 2 hours. Just to see if i can surpass the sedation when it is strong so lets see :peace:

So i went asleep after breakfast not sure if i said that? Woke up at 12am a nurse nocking on my door asking if i wanted lunch. That was very nice of them i did say if i was ever asleep at meal times to wake me up i really do love these nurses :hug:. Had lunch then let it go down for about 1 hour. Went out for a Walk in the woods and i intended to go to 3 shops i only went to 1 but i ran out of time but it didnt matter all i was going to get from the other 2 shops was tweezers and bananas. So for the first time in 5 years i went to the barber was sorta shitting it i have a massive problem looking in the mirror. A bunch of things but i am sure i stated in previous posts. But the good thing was i did it got hair cut from a lovely lady and a dude did my beard a slight trim and my moostache i call it. In my world this at the time felt like a tiny win but as soon as i thanked them both and left i started to genuinely smiled and meant it:).

Not a fake smile i have always put on i felt like crying but like a me saying to myself you are getting better. Walked back happy had dinner all the nurses were happy giving compliments i did feel weird but less weird then i normally would before if someone said something so progress in that. My self esteem grew a little today whatever i have is now bigger so today was better considering yesterday i went ape shit.

Had dinner it was Jerk chicken with rice with black beans and carrots and broccoli and cauliflower small portion. And i forgot to mention i was weight after breakfast i lost 4 pound so if i take off the 1 litre of water i drank and the breakfast and the turd brewing in my stomach at that time. Id say i lost 6 pound but ill say 4 to be less anal.

sat around i could of more but didn't it is the weekend but i intended to do abacus practice, poker theory, gripper reps, physio, body weight exercises

so i still have not started but i feel they are coming soon just going to take some time i did though last night. Did that psych work for id say 2 hours so my concentration is coming back before i could not do it for longer than 5 min. I notice all these improvements it makes me well up thinking about it :cry::cool: but in a cool way however that is

Then sat around relaxing thinking about life talking to myself in the woods really helps me process stuff a change of scenery.

lastly Had codeine at 9 ish did the beauty routine bollocks brushed teeth n shit floss these bad boys. Which leads me to now in bed writing this i want to thank everyone on this forum i could not of made this progress without you without the forum and the people using it id be lost in the dark hole i was in

Please everyone tell me how you are doing in the comments gonna hit the hay but will read in the morning or if i stay up a little longer with reply peace xxx
 
Warrior

Warrior

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:hi: @sadpunchingbag read yesterdays and todays sorry about your OT going it sad when you get settled with someone then your onto another, had this myself down the years in one aspect or another.
Oh dear dear about that chap :whistle:..he's playing games with the patients and testing who will kick off but I did laugh this end at what you did sorry :hug: and what some patients don't realize they can test the wrong ones. The last hospital I was in I went in with hearing voices, violence and paranoia and one new girl came in and did the same and some patients got concerned I asked her what she kept bl**dy looking at and it went from there, I ended up hitting her and the next thing I know i'm being slammed to the floor by 5 nurses after that I was on constant watch.

Nice to hear you having nice walks though and chatting with new patients besides going to the gym and also looking at mental issues which disturb you (y) good way of fighting it and looking more positive plus a positive direction with food intake :hug:
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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:hi: @sadpunchingbag read yesterdays and todays sorry about your OT going it sad when you get settled with someone then your onto another, had this myself down the years in one aspect or another.
Oh dear dear about that chap :whistle:..he's playing games with the patients and testing who will kick off but I did laugh this end at what you did sorry :hug: and what some patients don't realize they can test the wrong ones. The last hospital I was in I went in with hearing voices, violence and paranoia and one new girl came in and did the same and some patients got concerned I asked her what she kept bl**dy looking at and it went from there, I ended up hitting her and the next thing I know i'm being slammed to the floor by 5 nurses after that I was on constant watch.

Nice to hear you having nice walks though and chatting with new patients besides going to the gym and also looking at mental issues which disturb you (y) good way of fighting it and looking more positive plus a positive direction with food intake :hug:
Thanks for the reply Warrior i always get good information/views from you. As for the patient i launched a chair at
Sorry for bad link i wanted to link a gif but the forum does not support extensions. Back to me rocket launching a chair at him 4 nurses ran out i really dont think they could of held me 1 nurse was decently strong id say the other 3 nope i am thankful i didnt go ape shit if he does it again i may throw the mini sofa
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Today was stressful i have 3 meetings on tuesday which are quite important i have written down everything i need to and want to say many things have not gone right but looking to rectify them by the outcome not going to say much because not much to say just i was told some information which made me really angry and low not suicide thoughts though so i guess a improvement also went to the woods had a long talk to myself to process and to gather my thoughts also went to the shops to get some food for the week. i will say more information when its done sorta wanna relax from talking about it till its over peace all love u xxxxxxxx

Note to self revise the notes you made for the meetings real important shit dude
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Today was pretty boring it is sports week so we played snooker and cricket for monday i could not play cricket because feet. Made breakfast went on a walk around the woods i need to increase the distence its not enough but that is a sign of improvement. A new patient came in spoke to him at dinner obsessed about talkint about islam not sure if he is a radical one but until i ask him a few questions i reserve judgement before more evidence presents its self. On lighter notes shitting myself for ward round and ctr tommorrow but thats it really sorry for nothing else to say

Ps missed the same bs you did the other posts that you say in ps
 
Lunar Lady

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Hey Punch

Good luck tomorrow, hun.

Been a lazy mousse today....it was great :D Crashing out now in front of garbage telly to dribble and fall asleep. xxx

1565038486363.png
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Missed posting yesterday was tired as fuck. Let me see if i can remember had my ctr it was actually really good it was 2 of the 5 from the last time we met it was a hot french dude. And another good looking white dude No Homo but they ite ya feel me ? so they said they seen massive improvement you are a new person etc. I said i don't feel like a new person yet give me a few more months then ill show you a new person. So i intend to see them i think in October so it will be nice to show them more of a improvement. They also asked about what i wanted to add into the care plan i did add a few things such as more time with a psychologist and OT. Seeing as my OT is leaving causing much sadness :cry: that's life though right. A few complaints i had on the services for dealing with my feet and soft tissue damage etc also the problem with the other patient they are actually now trying to solve. I myself are going to speak to the advocate. Because i am serious but will update you all later. So next i went into ward round had 5 mins which is not nice but i was talking to the ctr for long as fuck but i said the things i wanted to get off my chest they was thankful i didn't go over the time constraint i was told they would see me later that day which they did not. a bit of a theme of we will come see you then don't.

Some things did not come up in ward round which i was thankful for or i would of popped off. but on lighter note i went out to the shops and community shop with a new patient to show him around if he wanted to go to the shop. Because the first time i went i got lost LOL. Also went to mc donalds it was a good test for me i got nothing the guy i went with got a meal then it was wrong. So i am keeping a note next time we go if we do to check it because they are thick as whale shit. On brighter notes wisdom tooth is coming through so hurting like a mother fucker but i have pain kills i am limiting it to just paracetamol then at night have a strong one for my feet anyway so it will be cool just for everyone this post was meant for the day 06/08/2019
 
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