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Just been accepted to a minimum stay of 12 weeks maybe longer if needed

sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,402
Location
London
This is a serious and actually quite disgusting day i have had. Brace yourself i am writing this because i need a record for my personal time frame when my cpa comes up.

today i was approached after ward round by doctor 1 and the other good looking doctor he asked a bunch of abstract questions on a scale of 1 to 10 how do you feel bullshit questions i said 3/4 to them all because things have not happened that i bring up every week at word round the same problem for 5 weeks so this is when it gets fucked up doctor 1 said to me hey the running theme for you is that you are iratable so we think its a good idea to try you on anti psychotics my response WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK if my problems where resolved i would not be iratble and your solution to not just solving the issues with your workers ie nurses,psychology,OT but actually na lets give you a anti psychotic i cant believe this it made me so fucking disgusted no one here listens to me but my primary nurse does he is my advocate he is amazing i have to wait till tommorrow if he is coming in tell him the list of things that happened today.

i feel so low not due to my depression but because how i am being treated by the people supposed to help me its pure filth then they turn it around on me i feel like they are gas lighting me i was going to leave the hospital and end my life because no one my whole life has listened even now the people that know my triggers are doing what they knows is fucking me up also if anyone says is this just in your head NO my primary nurse totally agrees with me and its like we are in a battle 2 against 15 people here

also if anyone says have you tried x or y i have done absolutely everything i am going to call the advocate out to talk about this cancer i am dealing with

sorry for the downer but i have to write this down today was hard Can someone tell me its going to be ok x ?

i am going to get a meeting with the head doctor and my primary nurse with my mum and dad to sort these (*&&*)()) out
 
P

Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,077
Location
England. Derbyshire
I’ve just seen some of your latest posts punch.
I’m really impressed with some of the things that you have done.
Also, don’t be disrespected by others.
You have your entitlements.
Best wishes
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,402
Location
London
I’ve just seen some of your latest posts punch.
I’m really impressed with some of the things that you have done.
Also, don’t be disrespected by others.
You have your entitlements.
Best wishes
thank you polly today has been hard just want to curl up in a ball and die
 
G

goodgollymiss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2017
Messages
408
Maybe you could on a yoga retreat
 
G

goodgollymiss

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 6, 2017
Messages
408
I went to Toronto today and saw a museum. They had a skeleton of a sloth as big as a an elephant (dark ages)
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,402
Location
London
Today was a happy and sad day. The trainee OT that left last week had to come in today for paper work i catched her as i was about to leave so i was "lucky" we chatted told her about about my problems in the last few days i got some good advise which some of it i want state but she did say your recovery has been all down to me wanted to push so hard. I said i could not of done it without her :) we then spoke about her plans after she finished her disortation then for me we spoke about life after here in hospital i have a few options but the CPA needs to happen also i need to read through all my notes and my thread again because it has key timeframes when incidents happened also some other bs going to go in on these people who work here

Back to the OT i went out got her a box of chocolates as a thankyou but the main ot handed back to me because its against the rules some bullshit that is totally unessary but i digress so anyway i hugged her good bye i went to my room then cried but meh

Moving on i have come to the conclusion on what my problems are in the word i am going to compile a list of rules do's and dont's to safeguard myself from the bullshit that goes on and fuckery

Also going to do less but the things i am going to always do are what i need to do if i feel like i have energy for the other stuff ill do it

Seems busy but thats life i just gotta keep cool here they are trying to get under my skin its fine i see through it
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,402
Location
London
Today was a mixed bag. For a few reasons 1 my primary nurse who is the best nurse there is he is a pure champion for me. He fights my corner like a family member would. So its said he is leaving me but he has taught me everything i need. To not be missed with by the staff. I couldn't ask for anything more. I will truly miss him. Going to get him a box of chocolates and a card as a thank you. I hope him massive success in hes endeavours and in life in general. SO a little 😭 but happy tears it feels like the puzzle of my life is coming together now 😊. Hes last day is next Friday so just for my record i can always look back on this moment.

As for the fuckery that went on i actually don't care about it to be honest i know how to deal with the problems. On the ward so i don't really have a need to post them. I am going to try change the theme a bit more focus more on things i want to do. Then right about them instead on this thread maybe a good idea? I will obviously if something major happens on the ward talk about that but as minimal as possible i have struggled and improved. But now just want improve and block out negatively as much as possible sure it cant always be the case. But surely less negativity is better right lol ?

peace everyone hope shit is going ite for you all xxxx
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

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Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,402
Location
London
Today was me getting back into the swing of things. I dont have much on my mind in terms of the problems i have been having on the ward. So now i can focus on going to the gym but before i just could not get into the zone. But now i can also got weighed in the gym i lost 2 pounds which is nothing but considering i have not been going hard in the gym its progress. I will get back on it tommorrow and start studying again. Everyone is ready i just got to do it. Bit of a short post sorry people.

Have some plans tommorrow going to the shop get some bananas for my breakfast and go to the gym then a walk after dinner and study in between it seems like a doable day. Laterino peoplerino
 
P

Pollypop

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Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,077
Location
England. Derbyshire
2lbs is not nothing. It’s another achievement punch.
You sound we’ll organise for tomorrow. 😀
I feel tired just reading what you are going to do!!!
 
B

BatDuck

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Joined
Aug 3, 2019
Messages
199
Location
Kent, UK.
I've been reading this thread since the start and you have made such progress sadpunchingbag, you should feel really proud of what you have already achieved. Your latest posts also show a lot of positivity and determination - something mental illness strips you of, so you are winning! There's no stopping you now. :hug:
 
sadpunchingbag

sadpunchingbag

Well-known member
Joined
May 29, 2019
Messages
1,402
Location
London
2lbs is not nothing. It’s another achievement punch.
You sound we’ll organise for tomorrow. 😀
I feel tired just reading what you are going to do!!!
lol i only say 2lb is nothing because what i normally been doing i have not but i just gotta ease into it again like anything its a chance to practice what i learned from not going jumping into the water but to dip my toes in then my feet then legs etc gradual exposure so i can adapt and not feel overwhelmed
 
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