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Just another person diagnosed with ASPD

Vassago

Vassago

Former member
Joined
Dec 2, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Norway
i have read several others threads on here about their experiences with it and well i dont think the insane amount of boredom you feel is often talked about as much.
that by far is the worst thing of it and it has got me in a lot of trouble in the past due to looking for whatever i can to entertain myself and it has been mostly at the expense of others and while i dont feel anything about the harm i have caused to others, i do however know in the long run it does not benefit myself.

I have been incarcerated and forcibly hospitalized multiple times and well i am at a point in my life where I am trying to change because this does not benefit me anymore but this boredom is so intense
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
13,300
Location
England
Presumably there are reasons which caused you to have ASPD? Have you worked through all of that?

What are your plans for Christmas? Do you see any family or have any friends?

We will all be about on here Christmas day so that is something :)
 
B

bucnasty

Active member
Joined
Feb 9, 2020
Messages
39
Location
uk
The boredom is awful
 
T E_90

T E_90

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2021
Messages
490
Location
__
Having ASPD myself, I can understand what you're saying about the boredom.
In my case it's more a continuous research for things that gives me quick satisfaction and excitement, like a temporary self-esteem.

I'm obsessed with important goals, but nothing is ever enough, and my inability to continue whatever I start, as I lose patience as well as getting bored right away, is frustrating and it increase the anger that I already have.
My biggest problem is impulsive anger, it gave me many troubles in the past and I don't feel understood by anyone when I start, which makes me even more angry.
The classic phrase "chill the fu*k out" , "count to 10" or the best one "it doesn't worth it" .. it doesn't help.
I'm currently in psychiatric therapy for very abnormal thoughts and behavior problems.
I was told that the whole thing was carried over from my childhood.
 
Vassago

Vassago

Former member
Joined
Dec 2, 2021
Messages
8
Location
Norway
Presumably there are reasons which caused you to have ASPD? Have you worked through all of that?

What are your plans for Christmas? Do you see any family or have any friends?

We will all be about on here Christmas day so that is something :)

there might be reasons for it or there might not be. Not really anyway to know but just speculation I suppose. Had a shitty childhood and was sexually abused when i was a child for several years. It is what it is though, no reason complaining aye..

For Christmas I will be with my son. thanks though
 
H

Hokiepokie

Member
Joined
Nov 17, 2021
Messages
23
Location
South Carolina
i have read several others threads on here about their experiences with it and well i dont think the insane amount of boredom you feel is often talked about as much.
that by far is the worst thing of it and it has got me in a lot of trouble in the past due to looking for whatever i can to entertain myself and it has been mostly at the expense of others and while i dont feel anything about the harm i have caused to others, i do however know in the long run it does not benefit myself.

I have been incarcerated and forcibly hospitalized multiple times and well i am at a point in my life where I am trying to change because this does not benefit me anymore but this boredom is so intense

I am a psychopath. I can identify with the boredom. I can not identify with being put in a mental hospital numberous times. I'm as sane as sane can be, I'm perfectly sane. I'm also a bit perplexed with you sociopaths. It's my observation over the years that you guys share the same impulsivity with us psychopaths, but we seem able to control those impulses much more efficiently which doesn't cause harm to ourselves. Maybe that's a key difference with sociopaths and psychopaths. We are so animal-survival oriented that many of us come to understand that if we don't control our impulses, it lowers our survival chances, and in the purest animal-predatoristic viewpoint, this is my guess as to why we are less likely to cut a guy in a bar fight after an explosive temper only to find ourselves incarcerated. I'm smart enough to know that I have plenty of time in the future to square up with the guy in the bar when it's most opportunistic for me without risking harm to myself, my survival, which could be prison or getting beat up.

I'm bored regularily. What I've found was that I must find something I really enjoy that isn't harmful and become almost addicted to it in one sense. For me, that has become sports. I love UFC, College Football, and High School Football, so this keeps me busy, but I still dont' have the same love for it as another person would. I like learning about ghosts, heaven, hell, the afterlife, demons, angels, and this occupies much of time in reading. I've taken up kyte boarding which is fun and somewhat of an adrenaline rush. I also got into running. Running gives me a natural adrenaline rush. Being the narcissist that I am, I enjoy body building. I have a combination of things that are healthy, not harmful to my survival, and keep me somewhat occupied enough to where the boredom doesn't dominate my life. Another one is nature. I enjoy nature. I'm not a people person. I am much happier in nature and love hiking in beautiful landscapes.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,915
Location
Australia
I am a psychopath. I can identify with the boredom. I can not identify with being put in a mental hospital numberous times. I'm as sane as sane can be, I'm perfectly sane. I'm also a bit perplexed with you sociopaths. It's my observation over the years that you guys share the same impulsivity with us psychopaths, but we seem able to control those impulses much more efficiently which doesn't cause harm to ourselves. Maybe that's a key difference with sociopaths and psychopaths. We are so animal-survival oriented that many of us come to understand that if we don't control our impulses, it lowers our survival chances, and in the purest animal-predatoristic viewpoint, this is my guess as to why we are less likely to cut a guy in a bar fight after an explosive temper only to find ourselves incarcerated. I'm smart enough to know that I have plenty of time in the future to square up with the guy in the bar when it's most opportunistic for me without risking harm to myself, my survival, which could be prison or getting beat up.

I'm bored regularily. What I've found was that I must find something I really enjoy that isn't harmful and become almost addicted to it in one sense. For me, that has become sports. I love UFC, College Football, and High School Football, so this keeps me busy, but I still dont' have the same love for it as another person would. I like learning about ghosts, heaven, hell, the afterlife, demons, angels, and this occupies much of time in reading. I've taken up kyte boarding which is fun and somewhat of an adrenaline rush. I also got into running. Running gives me a natural adrenaline rush. Being the narcissist that I am, I enjoy body building. I have a combination of things that are healthy, not harmful to my survival, and keep me somewhat occupied enough to where the boredom doesn't dominate my life. Another one is nature. I enjoy nature. I'm not a people person. I am much happier in nature and love hiking in beautiful landscapes.

I thought it was Sociopaths who were more controlled and Psychopaths who were more impulsive! Now I'm confused!

Anyway yes, the endless chronic boredom. It's so depressing. Nothing feels good unless I get addicted to it, but that's never good.
 
T

TheSparky

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2021
Messages
3
Location
Kamloops British Columbia
Having ASPD myself, I can understand what you're saying about the boredom.
In my case it's more a continuous research for things that gives me quick satisfaction and excitement, like a temporary self-esteem.

I'm obsessed with important goals, but nothing is ever enough, and my inability to continue whatever I start, as I lose patience as well as getting bored right away, is frustrating and it increase the anger that I already have.
My biggest problem is impulsive anger, it gave me many troubles in the past and I don't feel understood by anyone when I start, which makes me even more angry.
The classic phrase "chill the fu*k out" , "count to 10" or the best one "it doesn't worth it" .. it doesn't help.
I'm currently in psychiatric therapy for very abnormal thoughts and behavior problems.
I was told that the whole thing was carried over from my childhood.
Iam also currently I psychiatric therapy and shit it is a very big challenge to find the proper help or support and I hate the damn boredom thing which is why I probably went heavy into the porn watching. After reading up on sociopaths which are all kinda the same as ASPD more things are making a lot of sense about myself and my life. Iam in my late 30s and recently got diagnosed with ASPD and with finding the support I am getting very pissed off with having to explain what I have only to have family or intake personal viewing me as some kind of monster or that what I have is of none consequence or trivial. Asking and getting help and support shouldn’t be this hard and is very disheartening. I have dealt with and overcome a lot of other very challenging mental health issues and dealing with this one has been so much harder even with all the skills I learned dealing with others. If there are females that have ASPD or sociopath disorders can you message I really want to see if there is marked difference in our thinking than to the other people
 
T E_90

T E_90

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2021
Messages
490
Location
__
Iam also currently I psychiatric therapy and shit it is a very big challenge to find the proper help or support and I hate the damn boredom thing which is why I probably went heavy into the porn watching. After reading up on sociopaths which are all kinda the same as ASPD more things are making a lot of sense about myself and my life. Iam in my late 30s and recently got diagnosed with ASPD and with finding the support I am getting very pissed off with having to explain what I have only to have family or intake personal viewing me as some kind of monster or that what I have is of none consequence or trivial. Asking and getting help and support shouldn’t be this hard and is very disheartening. I have dealt with and overcome a lot of other very challenging mental health issues and dealing with this one has been so much harder even with all the skills I learned dealing with others. If there are females that have ASPD or sociopath disorders can you message I really want to see if there is marked difference in our thinking than to the other people
Hi welcome
I agree with you, unfortunately for us there's not always a concrete help, for all the reputation that revolves around that type of label, you don't want to be recognized.
I've been in therapy for a while and am looking for a reason why I'm like this, for a long time I've always felt a little different ( I've aspd and bipolar)
Anger is just one of my problems and I have no patience.
It's strange what you say about porn, I do recognize myself, since I was a child I used it as an outlet of anger or anxiety.
Over time it has become a normal thing, only I'm more and more desensitized about it.
In therapy I discovered that certain things I did as a child (7/8 years old) were not so normal, but apparently a sign of some kind of frustration due to I don't know what. I've learned to hide how I am, but ultimately it's more and more difficult to control a strong urge I have.
You can find some support here, there are others like you.
And I have no problem talking if needed.
 
stevie_sloth

stevie_sloth

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2015
Messages
2,915
Location
Australia
Iam also currently I psychiatric therapy and shit it is a very big challenge to find the proper help or support and I hate the damn boredom thing which is why I probably went heavy into the porn watching. After reading up on sociopaths which are all kinda the same as ASPD more things are making a lot of sense about myself and my life. Iam in my late 30s and recently got diagnosed with ASPD and with finding the support I am getting very pissed off with having to explain what I have only to have family or intake personal viewing me as some kind of monster or that what I have is of none consequence or trivial. Asking and getting help and support shouldn’t be this hard and is very disheartening. I have dealt with and overcome a lot of other very challenging mental health issues and dealing with this one has been so much harder even with all the skills I learned dealing with others. If there are females that have ASPD or sociopath disorders can you message I really want to see if there is marked difference in our thinking than to the other people

I just sent you a message! 😁
 
T

TheSparky

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2021
Messages
3
Location
Kamloops British Columbia
Hi welcome
I agree with you, unfortunately for us there's not always a concrete help, for all the reputation that revolves around that type of label, you don't want to be recognized.
I've been in therapy for a while and am looking for a reason why I'm like this, for a long time I've always felt a little different ( I've aspd and bipolar)
Anger is just one of my problems and I have no patience.
It's strange what you say about porn, I do recognize myself, since I was a child I used it as an outlet of anger or anxiety.
Over time it has become a normal thing, only I'm more and more desensitized about it.
In therapy I discovered that certain things I did as a child (7/8 years old) were not so normal, but apparently a sign of some kind of frustration due to I don't know what. I've learned to hide how I am, but ultimately it's more and more difficult to control a strong urge I have.
You can find some support here, there are others like you.
And I have no problem talking if needed.

Yea I learned as well to hide how I acually am and now its consuming every bit of me to to fight what I am actually thinking and constantly monitoring my actions with a fine tooth comb so that I am acting more dare I say "normal". Its damn well exhausting and I would like to know if anyone else is going through this or if there is a better way to spend my time or efforts, with my diagnosis happened very recently (last week) I am at a loss with how to help myself be a better person.
What have you guys done to help yourself with sociopath and ASPD symptoms? With me knowing more I can already see changes in how I am talking to and treating my children and how unfair I've been to my wife for many years.
 
T E_90

T E_90

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2021
Messages
490
Location
__
Yea I learned as well to hide how I acually am and now its consuming every bit of me to to fight what I am actually thinking and constantly monitoring my actions with a fine tooth comb so that I am acting more dare I say "normal". Its damn well exhausting and I would like to know if anyone else is going through this or if there is a better way to spend my time or efforts, with my diagnosis happened very recently (last week) I am at a loss with how to help myself be a better person.
What have you guys done to help yourself with sociopath and ASPD symptoms? With me knowing more I can already see changes in how I am talking to and treating my children and how unfair I've been to my wife for many years.
I can understand what you are saying.
I haven't spent too much time checking my behaviors (that's probably why I had problems in the past ..).
Once I knew the diagnosis, honestly nothing has changed, it just made all more sense ,I already knew in a way that I was different and I continued to do as always, since focusing too much on what you're saying, how you're saying it, or what you're doing (the why) can lead to more issues.
I admit that sometimes, when I'm mentally tired I have no patience at all, I'm also bipolar (even if not very serious in my case), this complicates things further for me sometimes.

A piece of advice from me, is not to worry too much about a label, that is, it's just a name that in my opinion doesn't define an individual as a whole, everyone is different.
There are no stereotype.
I have a problem that I myself cannot define, since it falls within a sphere of behavior that is already considered too advanced and dangerous, both for myself and for the person in front of me (nor that I care at that moment).
So in my case the only thing I can do to control this and 'help myself' is to go to therapy, since apparently this started from my childhood and at least I can have some answers.
I have a lot of things that I don't have an explanation for, and honestly they have never been a problem for me, but this urge could be.
Also trying to think about the consequences of what you want or are about to do (which I'm very bad at) is also very important.
Anyway if you want to talk more privately, feel free to send me a pm anytime.
 
T E_90

T E_90

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 4, 2021
Messages
490
Location
__
@TheSparky I'll add that I haven't talked about family cause unfortunately I don't have one of my own yet, so I wouldn't know how to help you since I don't know what it feels like.
But perhaps, if you've recognized unfair behavior in yourself towards your wife and children could be a step forward? I wouldn't know
 
T

TheSparky

New member
Joined
Dec 17, 2021
Messages
3
Location
Kamloops British Columbia
@TheSparky I'll add that I haven't talked about family cause unfortunately I don't have one of my own yet, so I wouldn't know how to help you since I don't know what it feels like.
But perhaps, if you've recognized unfair behavior in yourself towards your wife and children could be a step forward? I wouldn't know

I do find that with all reading up on this alot of things are making allot more sense. I have dealt with alot of other issues as well, depression, ptsd, maladaptive coping (porn addiction), ADD. Now with all these "dealt" with this comes up and its yet another thing is very disheartening but without the tools I learned in dealing with those I probably couldn't be in this place of understanding and healing myself of this diagnosis. With all that going on I dont want to over "cure" myself which isn't healthy I am wanting to know how other people with this cope or feel about it
 
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