judgement day is here

[gina kate]

Hi all,

im scared, and feeling the unknown. I go to c shrink tomoz as urgent referal from gp. I sufferd a nervous breakdown 4 years ago and have been on meds ever since. im 36 years old and a mother of two beautiful boys. i have been through alot since the breakdown.... relationship breakdown.. i had to leave my youngest son with his dad as i cannot cope with the stress and anxiety when my two boys are together.. what sort of mum am i to do that? but i really cant cope with my rapid mood swings and the feeling of aggitation and when they just argue like normal children i have to leave the room and calm myself down before i would explode with anger.
i went bankrupt 2 years ago... excessive spending on things i didnt really need but at the time had to have. i then went through a stage of having one night stands, this made me feel like i was attractive and someone wanted me. i have had rapid mood changes and believe these to be manic episodes, the other day i was so excited that i had just brought 2 cans of airfreshner it sent me into a wave of uncontrolable excitment, to the point where i felt physically sick and had to lay down. oh, i am also collecting air freshners, plug inns, and fabric softener like theirs going to be a shortage, i have always liked a nice smelling home, but this is now out of control.
I can be high and excited, but very quickly can be changed to anger, aggitation or stress, if anyone makes a comment to me when on a high i feel rage and anger and so angry that they have destroyed my mood.
These are just a few of the things i am experiencing and would love to hear from anyone who can relate to me xx

 

[jax]

I had a problem with spending too. In one summer I spent over £15,000 - mostly on credit as I don't work. I gave the majority of things I bought away to people. When I am manic - I am extremely hyper-sexual - meeting men from the Internet that I don't even know for a one night stand. I have a type of rapid cycling called - ultra-radian cycling. It means that I can change within minutes of each other. I am however - stable for the first time in 4 years. I am on 2 anti-psychotics and 2 mood stabilizers and am going to ask my pdoc if he will reduce my medicine. He may say no as I am only out of hospital 3 months - but I will still ask him. So there is hope of stability and a normal life - it just take finding the correct medication.

 

[claire21]

I know what you mean

I went to my gp a week ago and said that for months i have been seeing people and hearing voices and that i get thoughts that aint mine. I thought i was just depressed, they rushed me to the local mental health hospital were i saw a psych nurse. He had urgently referred me to the early intervention team for schizophrenia. I am very scared i don't know what to do. I feel so depressed also very different. I have two lovely children and a husband and i have had enough of feeling guilty about it, I tried to fight out the thoughts and the voices and led myself to believe they are normal until i snapped and ended up at gp's office having a nervous breakdown. When i told them about my thoughts been someone else's they were concerned now i have emergency meeting with the hospital tomorrow and im scared they are going to section me because i am refusing treatment. I don't want medication that fuks your life up even more i am so stuck and very alone........