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    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

Judge others

IcyShadow

IcyShadow

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2020
Messages
13
Location
UK
If someone I know, say at work, starts being nice to me I think they're taking the p#ss. I mean, as if they can't be trusted. People who are nice to you will let you down, because they are after something.that they can gain from you. I find it hard to trust anyone I know, even people I've trusted in the past, who were good to me.
It's different on here as nobody really knows me, and can't get close. It's hard to explain.
Does anyone else find it hard to trust others for fear they'll end up hurting you?
 
kimidare

kimidare

Active member
Joined
Jan 2, 2021
Messages
39
Location
France
Hi,

I have some difficulties to trust others.
Even my boyfriend, I sometimes think that he will abandon me or become violent, for no reason.
When I talk about personal problems, I take the risk that they will return the knowledge against me. So I prepare myself to endure if they want hurt me ^^".

I tell to myself that I m the only person who can destroy myself, nobody else. They don t have this power on me.

Here it s easier to avoid somebody who hurts you, and you can report in the worst case.
 
PurplePrinny80s

PurplePrinny80s

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 12, 2020
Messages
64
Location
Baltimore
The only person I truly trust is my partner. My family and my in-laws, even when I got close to them, hurt me deeply. I am kind and civil but never let anyone get close. And I have no problem telling people I don't trust anyone. They respect that or they don't get to be a part of my life. However, they can trust me.
 
IcyShadow

IcyShadow

Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2020
Messages
13
Location
UK
The only person I truly trust is my partner. My family and my in-laws, even when I got close to them, hurt me deeply. I am kind and civil but never let anyone get close. And I have no problem telling people I don't trust anyone. They respect that or they don't get to be a part of my life. However, they can trust me.
It's good that you have someone to trust. Family have let me down in the past too, when I was at my absolute worst. I like that you tell others how it is about trust. I think I need to do that too. Thanks for your reply :)
 
Linda1989

Linda1989

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 12, 2016
Messages
460
Location
PA
It happens to me all the time everytime someone is extremely nice to me they in up treated me like shit after. Thats why I try not to get friendly with people.
 
soul searching

soul searching

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 5, 2020
Messages
391
Location
Clearwater, Florida
I have somehow changed and can accept kindness now. Very difficult to accept praise. Also, relationships with anyone often scare me because I'm expecting them to go south.
 
PetitPois

PetitPois

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 8, 2020
Messages
927
Location
Somewhere
There are people in my life I do not trust with good reason. Meeting people, I tend to start off in a place of trust and adjust my position if necessary. I think this is not a great idea so do not recommend it. However it seems to be my default position.

I do shy away from getting close to people generally, yet am pretty open when talking to them. I am out of practice when it comes to being sociable I think.
 
Barny67

Barny67

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 25, 2020
Messages
227
Location
Middlesbrough
Only ppl I trust are my family or what’s left of them. I got a big wall circling around that no one gets past & that’s how it’s been of 15yrs. I can’t see it ever changing, again.
 
T

treasurebox

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
328
Location
Philippines
People are not perfect so it may be hard to trust others, but they can be given the chance to be trusted. It can hurt us if others break trust, but we can always choose to forgive and accept them because they are not perfect. We can also choose to forgive them but say goodbye to them. But for some instances, it will be good to give them another chance because the universe revolves around giving chances as well. It is upto you to decide what will make you happy and peaceful.
 
M

Mistral

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2011
Messages
444
The old salesman technique of buttering up the prospective customer certainly carries into personal relationships. I had a friend who used this technique a lot, but it took a while for me to recognise it. Looking back I think a poker face and refusing to take the bait from day one is the best response.
 

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