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Jealousy

M

Miliana

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
74
Location
France
I feel very unhappy about people who do things better than me, or like the same things that I am obsessed about.
I hate this, I honestly hate myself for that but I just hate these people too.
I can't control it, I can't celebrate their success I just want them to feel bad and anxious like me.
Why can't I deserve all the good things and happenings that has been happening to them ? I wish I could stop it.
 
O

Orangeade

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 23, 2021
Messages
1,686
Location
England
I feel very unhappy about people who do things better than me, or like the same things that I am obsessed about.
I hate this, I honestly hate myself for that but I just hate these people too.
I can't control it, I can't celebrate their success I just want them to feel bad and anxious like me.
Why can't I deserve all the good things and happenings that has been happening to them ? I wish I could stop it.
Sending you a lot of love! I think we all feel like that sometimes when we dont have a lot going on in our lives. I know i feel like that sometimes
 
catmommy

catmommy

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 18, 2021
Messages
245
Location
Vancouver
"Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own." ~ Harold Coffin
 
M

Miliana

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
74
Location
France
"Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own." ~ Harold Coffin
Unfortunately, there is not much blessings happening on my side...
 
Manicotti

Manicotti

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 1, 2021
Messages
341
Location
Montana
Unfortunately, there is not much blessings happening on my side...
Do you have food? Clean water? A roof over your head? The mental health forum? Those are some things that I'm thankful for
 
M

Miliana

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
74
Location
France
Do you have food? Clean water? A roof over your head? The mental health forum? Those are some things that I'm thankful for
I do have a roof and water, not much food happening thought. Unfortunately thinking like will not be enough to make my depression and my self-hatred disappear :(
 
AliceTheDivided

AliceTheDivided

Active member
Joined
Jan 9, 2022
Messages
28
Location
Chess Board, Wonderland
I feel very unhappy about people who do things better than me, or like the same things that I am obsessed about.
I hate this, I honestly hate myself for that but I just hate these people too.
I can't control it, I can't celebrate their success I just want them to feel bad and anxious like me.
Why can't I deserve all the good things and happenings that has been happening to them ? I wish I could stop it.
First of all, you do deserve good things. I get the jealousy, it can be frustrating to see others have what you want while you still haven't attained it. But my opinion is this: giving them all this energy instead of putting it into making yourself better, isn't going to bring you where you want to be. Direct all that feeling and energy into becoming more competent, more informed, get closer to what you want. Focus on being better for you and your goals and you'll get there on your own time.
 
F

Fairy Rapunzel

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 26, 2021
Messages
91
Location
hell
I'm sorry you feel this way. I understand how you feel because I'm always jealous of other people. Like I compare my art to other peoples art and they're so talented. So I just think oh I'm not good enough. But then I had this great idea: I am going to try to focus on improving myself and my life and my health. Comparing ourselves to other people doesn't do much and it just continues to hurt us. It's not easy, and I still feel jealous most of the time. But I'm trying to focus on what I can do with my life. What hobbies do you have and what sort of things would you like to learn in life? I think that thinking about those things is a great place to start because then you can come up with a new goal or plan. Maybe this year you can start learning something new like playing the piano or cooking new food. I know it doesn't make everything completely better, but focusing on something that's good for you is a good way to distract yourself from the negativity. At least I think that's how it works. Good luck with everything and I hope you feel better soon!

:grouphug:
 
M

Miliana

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 25, 2020
Messages
74
Location
France
I'm sorry you feel this way. I understand how you feel because I'm always jealous of other people. Like I compare my art to other peoples art and they're so talented. So I just think oh I'm not good enough. But then I had this great idea: I am going to try to focus on improving myself and my life and my health. Comparing ourselves to other people doesn't do much and it just continues to hurt us. It's not easy, and I still feel jealous most of the time. But I'm trying to focus on what I can do with my life. What hobbies do you have and what sort of things would you like to learn in life? I think that thinking about those things is a great place to start because then you can come up with a new goal or plan. Maybe this year you can start learning something new like playing the piano or cooking new food. I know it doesn't make everything completely better, but focusing on something that's good for you is a good way to distract yourself from the negativity. At least I think that's how it works. Good luck with everything and I hope you feel better soon!

:grouphug:
I feel exactly the same way about art !! That's what caused me into posting this thread.. Drawing is the only thing that I am decent at, and seeing that someone is so much better and is popular thanks to that makes me very sad. I have nothing else, and if somebody is better at this than me, what do I have to do left ? Haha.. Thank you for your advice, I hope it's going better for you as well :)
 
M

Mary26

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
341
Location
USA
Whether or not you're religious it's interesting to think about why one of the 10 commandments says thou shalt not covet. Why is it so important?
I'll tell you a story. Once there was this new girl who got hired in my company and everyone loved her and she was beautiful and sweet and super successful and eclipsed everyone else and then one day she walks in with a diamond on her finger. She was engaged! Her life was perfect and I was consumed with jealousy. Then a couple of months later her mother gets diagnosed with cancer, she has to quit the job to take care of her and her fiance ends the relationship. Her life completely falls apart. That's when I understood. My path is unique to me and I am here to work on myself. "Count no man happy until the end is known"
 
pinkflower17

pinkflower17

Active member
Joined
Aug 30, 2021
Messages
38
Location
United States
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I too understand those feelings. I get jealous because I work so hard and feel like I have so little while others have so much. I get jealous others have support systems and I don’t. I get jealous others do not have all this mental health crap weighing them down and I do. But then I think it could be worse. Sometimes I can see the silver lining. When I have negative thinking or anxious thoughts I tell myself stop over and over lately and it helps.
 

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