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I've only hated one person in my life

jajingna

jajingna

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Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,018
Location
Canada
For years I've hated one of my brothers. He was always a judgemental prick. I believe he was abusive in the way he spoke to me. I think he had anger problems all his life. He's about 8 years older than me. We're not young men anymore. I rarely ever see him. But he's in my thoughts more than I'd like. His voice in my thought is sort of like my father's used to be, so many years ago. The inner critic, the voice that says what you're doing and who you are isn't good enough.

I don't like hating him, but just the thought of him makes me upset. I live with another brother who feels the same way, that is to say we both hate him. When you're growing up you want approval from older siblings and of course parents. It's still true when you're older even when you say you don't care what they think. But he is a disappointment to me, he let me down. And he's still an asshole. Some things are hard to get over.
 
Tawny

Tawny

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Nov 10, 2019
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4,272
Location
England
Hate is not a good emotion but i can understand that feeling, i have a relative too who has infuriated me forever.
 
jajingna

jajingna

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 31, 2020
Messages
2,018
Location
Canada
Yeah, I obsess a lot over old stuff. Not really sure why, can't really alter anything about the past. Would be nice to remove or change some memories like in a movie. Who needs to dwell on the real ones when they could be replaced with something more pleasant.
 
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