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i've had this favorite person... long first post.

poofeet

poofeet

New member
Joined
Jun 1, 2019
Messages
1
Location
spider in a cup
srry for making my first post so long and dumb.

i've been trying to take things reeeal slow and deny my quick attachment but there's this girl that gave me enough hope to actually start taking care of myself more than i have in the past. i've quit smoking weed (period) daily to cover the anxiety i feel every day and am trying to fix all sorts of ruin that this disorder has brought to my life (though i'm drinking more now) even though it's overwhelming.

even though i call her my favorite person i feel like i can't love anyone right now because i'd be dragging them down and how erratic my trust towards my friends can be.

she acts nice and relatable when i talk to her but other times i feel like i'm being pushed away.

I feel like she's at the center of this delicate social web i've started to rebuild for myself and if i cut her out the rest will just twist in the wind(i'll cut and run from people).

we had to separate for what was supposed to be less than an hour tonight but right now there's a bunch of my crap at her place and i can't figure out if i was ditched or if she actually got into enough trouble to drop the plans we had for the night like she says when responses are so few and far between.

I feel justified in feeling angry and shitty for maybe not being patient...hate myself.
 
midnightphoenix

midnightphoenix

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
9,585
Location
Tigger and Willow's house UK
Why would she get in trouble? :hug:

Could her pushing you away at times maybe be that she doesnt always feel up to being around other people? :hug:
 
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