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I've had a fallout and now I feel lost and empty inside

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Sadlad2003

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
2
Location
England
I had a fallout out with someone today. You might sit there saying to yourself ‘Come on mate get a grip and move on’ but it’s not as simple as that. This person I fell out with wasn’t just a friend, wasn’t just a best friend, she was a soulmate. We’d meet up near enough every day, having the time of our lives together, always making each other laugh and smile. Over the past year we’d created a bond stronger than just friends, we were family. We both knew each other’s parents and got along with them so well. Everything was perfect, we both felt like what we had was unbreakable and it would last forever. We had big things planned for the future: holidays together, making speeches at each other’s weddings, nights out together, heck, we even discussed moving in together but out of nowhere all of those plans and aspirations came crashing down and now I just feel hurt. I feel like without her there is just a big hole in my life and nobody can fill it because she was so special. I spent so much time with her and now that time will be spent crying in my bedroom alone thinking about what could have been. I just feel so hurt right now and whilst my bestie isn’t in my life, I don’t think I can ever recover. She was unique, one of a kind, special and I loved her and cared about her so much and I still do. I know we only fell out today but I’ve been crying non-stop and have contemplated suicide and self-harm because I don’t want to live a life, she’s not a part of and I just want her back. I know I wouldn’t have the bottle to actually commit suicide or self-harm but it really has been on my mind today. I’m not writing this as a cry for help but I just need someone to talk to right now to help me through this difficult time. I’ve never felt this low in my life and I’ve never really done anything like this before but I just feel there’s no other option. Until either I feel better and recover without her or we make up, I just need someone to talk to.
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,851
Location
London, ON
That really sucks, dude. I went through the loss of a similar friendship a few years ago, and I felt just like you.

you may never stop regretting the loss of friendship, but the pain will fade over time. Talking about it helps.

What makes you think this is an unfixable situation, though? (Mine was unrepairable for a lot of reasons on both sides).
 
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Sadlad2003

New member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
2
Location
England
In my opinion I haven't really done anything wrong. (I'll use fake names for both of them) The whole story is that the girl I fell out with (Gemma) hosted this party and didn't invite one of my other best friends (Molly). Molly was also feeling down and confused and so asked me to ask Gemma why she wasn't invited so I did. Gemma gave me the reasons why so I told Molly and it really annoyed her. She wrote back a full two pages worth of stuff and told me to send it to Gemma and she basically said she didn't care about Molly anymore and that was the respone. I told this to Molly and so Gemma got really annoyed at me and ended up blocking me. She said 'I tell you when i'm having a sh*t but you don't go saying it to Molly' and then she went on to talk about how i put Molly on a pedastool and that i care more about her than i do Gemma - which just is not true at all i love them both to pieces. It's such a petty thing but she's been like this to other people too so i feel like it will never get better. The last message she sent to me was 'fuck you and our friendship' it's all so petty and i just don't understand why she's being like this. I still love her and care about her but she just does not care about me anymore and that hurts
 
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Nukelavee

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
2,851
Location
London, ON
Honestly, your mistake was getting involved at all. If Molly had things to say to Gemma, it was her job to say it, not you.

I think there is a good chance this will blow over. I think.
 
Lavender_Rose

Lavender_Rose

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 12, 2020
Messages
1,217
Location
United States
I had a fallout with so eine very similar, we both think we are soulmates or twin souls or something. Like we are simple meant to be in each other's lives. We been friend since we were teenagers and had a tenancy to argue a lot, but still stuck together. But we have two falling outs. Both kinda seems to be stirred by the presence of another person. The first time we didn't talk for about 6 months came back for about maybe a year or two, then another falling out that lasted maybe a year and half or two. We are somewhat speaking now. Its a repair process. The things I have learned from my experience. One is although I don't like this other person and he added stress, ultimately he just added stress to issue that were already that. Two when you have a long term friendship from a young age your both growing and changing and it hard. You becoming different people who may or may not be compatible. Three the last falling out was the toughest, I refused to speak to her, I was done with out friendship for good. Being away for so long gave us both time to step back and become different people without each other. Time to grow as individuals; I think it was the best thing honestly. I can tell she been through some stuff and I have too but we have both matures a lot and learn from out past communication mistakes. We are not what we used to be but who's to say that is a bad thing? I'm not saying your story will go this way. But backing away from people is sometime best for both of you, continuing to engage in arguments and being hostile toward each other does nothing for you or her. It will only continue to damage a friendship. Sorry this was so long.
 
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Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 7, 2020
Messages
619
Location
UK
Until either I feel better and recover without her or we make up, I just need someone to talk to.
The best thing to do, is communicate with her, she is not a lost cause. Take things slow and have verification and clarity. Always.
 
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