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I've got a bone to pick.. P: [intro]

WakeOwl

WakeOwl

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
6
Location
Canada
Hello everyone! Just joined the site today but you'd be surprised how hard it was to find..

Regardless, my name is Shannon and I am 19 years old. I'm currently undergoing some treatment for BPD. :)
I'm not usually an optimistic person but just knowing now what the problem is makes me a little more hopeful! c:

It feels good to put a name on it after all these frustrating years.. I'm pretty sure this is what I have been suffering with since I was at least 14 if not younger. I don't know if 14 is a little young but I have a feeling that this started during my first year of highschool.. I had been told I had depression, anxiety, and a whole slew of others.. It was good to finally just have one name for it.

For the past few months I have been searching like crazy for more support as I lack a lot of it. Having an old fashioned family who have always been about "toughen up!" , they weren't exactly behind me on my assessment. For the past few months I started searching online for support forums(such as this!) but it wasn't exactly easy to find..

As I said: "You'd be surprised how hard it was to find."
It seems that all I find are various forums to support those who have to, for lack of better word, deal with a loved one who has BPD.. I by no means think that BPD is easy to deal with especially if it's not you directly who has it!

I think it's geat to have a forum to help those who are suffering with a loved one who has BPD, I thought it would better education those who do not know alot about BPD and have strategies and advice to better deal with situations for both ends... Looking into it more I saw that most of these forums were basically filled up with complaints from people complaining about there loved ones/ ex loved ones with BPD...

Reading things along the lines of "Run while you still can" as a reply to a thread asking how could someone date someone with BPD. Many people describing and generalizing people with BPD to be manipulative, evil.. Basically just "terrible people" to simply put it..

Being a person with little to no self esteem made it really hard to read those comments and such.. Even watching videos containing information about BPD I always get sucked into reading the comments and seeing a lot of them similar to stuff said in the forums.. Some days I feel like a monster because I feel like that's how everyone seems to look at people with BPD. I already avoid getting close to people because of my many struggles and fears.. but now I fear that I will cause destruction.. :unsure:

Has anyone else noticed this in the other forums or have looked around and run into similar stuff else where when looking for support..? :/ I don't understand why all of these people who have had problems with people who have BPD just complain and generalize BPD overall. I feel like everyone deserves to be loved but I read a lot of peoples comments that think people with BPD cannot be/ or cannot give love.

I honestly felt so alone until today when I came out to a close friend about having BPD and being unable to find proper support online. It was really scary but he took it really well and found this site here!

I am actually so happy and thankful to have found this site and I hope to learn more about BPD and make good use of it I need advice. c:

I look forward to coming here more!
 
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MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
Joined
Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,096
:welcome: to the forum.

We are a great bunch here so I'm sure you will fit in fine :)

Have a look around and shout if you have any questions.

Marliee x
 
A

Arielxo

Active member
Joined
Jan 8, 2015
Messages
28
I of course too believe everyone should be loved and when I'm reading the comments, or blogs they are times make me so angry and hurt but I think at times we do have to be honest with ourselves and understand that our behaviours do hurt other people and it must be so confusing for people to be in love with someone that has so much emotional pain, of course it will hurt others if they've been in that situation what you also have to remember is that sometimes people say things they don't really mean, they may be saying things like "oh yeah I dated this girl she has bpd she was an absolute psycho". What he really means is her emotions were difficult to deal with and I was unable to help her, men like to fix things and to be unable to fix someone they love is damaging to them too. ️Xx be strong :) x
 
Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
Hi and welcome
 
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ramboghettouk

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
15,578
Location
london
i know where your coming from, at my gps theres a whole noticeboard where i could find help if i was a carer, but me they've closed my case

A lot of these web sites are more for carers and when they aren't the funding comes from fundholders, like the papers you can contribute if your on say benefits but whether it'll be posted is according to whether the fundholder might be irritated, even here the moderators tend to be drawn from a certain group of high functioning people, quite often off meds, if i'm called a drug company stooge, thats ok. but if i call someone a scientologist thats removed as a personal attack, the people at the top also tend not to be on benefits and tend to the goverment spin which is put on your replys
 
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broken1

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 23, 2015
Messages
104
Location
U.S.
Hi wakeowl

I ran across those forums too. It made me feel very attacked. Arielxo is right though...the ppl that love us may need support, too. I avoid those sites as they set me off.

I used to attend forums for BPD when I was first diagnosed but can't find them anymore. I'm so glad I found this one. Welcome!
 
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plaasmesisie

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 26, 2015
Messages
49
Hi and welcome WakeOwl
I am also newly diagnosed at 44 after suffering these symptoms since I was a teen. I hear your relief at knowing why I am the way I am!
I found this forum after reading hateful, cruel and downright evil comments from other people who have had relationships with individuals suffering from BPD on other sites
The welcome and kindness I have found here has been so heart warming and reassuring!
These fellow BPD'ers (lol) get how we feel and can identify with behaviours and emotions that seem totally nuts to outsiders. That alone is enormously helpful!
So bless you sweetheart and may you find the support and acceptance you need as you face a future filled with challenges!
 
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ramboghettouk

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2008
Messages
15,578
Location
london
this forum is the only one that'll have me and i've been to forums were they advise people not to have anything to do with people like me, guess i myself are one of those people who wouldn't want a schitzo as a neighbour and i'm one myself theres the potential i could come off meds and i've experienced the consequences from neighbours and friends
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,534
Location
The West Country
Welcome to the forum WakeOwl. :hi:

I have come across those forums and they're awful - I stopped reading them almost as soon as I discovered those kinds of sites exist - it's just too angering and emotionally torturous!

But you have nothing to worry about here. We're all pretty friendly and supportive.
 
WakeOwl

WakeOwl

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
6
Location
Canada
Welcome to the forum WakeOwl. :hi:

I have come across those forums and they're awful - I stopped reading them almost as soon as I discovered those kinds of sites exist - it's just too angering and emotionally torturous!

But you have nothing to worry about here. We're all pretty friendly and supportive.
this forum is the only one that'll have me and i've been to forums were they advise people not to have anything to do with people like me, guess i myself are one of those people who wouldn't want a schitzo as a neighbour and i'm one myself theres the potential i could come off meds and i've experienced the consequences from neighbours and friends
Hi wakeowl

I ran across those forums too. It made me feel very attacked. Arielxo is right though...the ppl that love us may need support, too. I avoid those sites as they set me off.

I used to attend forums for BPD when I was first diagnosed but can't find them anymore. I'm so glad I found this one. Welcome!
Hi and welcome WakeOwl
I am also newly diagnosed at 44 after suffering these symptoms since I was a teen. I hear your relief at knowing why I am the way I am!
I found this forum after reading hateful, cruel and downright evil comments from other people who have had relationships with individuals suffering from BPD on other sites
The welcome and kindness I have found here has been so heart warming and reassuring!
These fellow BPD'ers (lol) get how we feel and can identify with behaviours and emotions that seem totally nuts to outsiders. That alone is enormously helpful!
So bless you sweetheart and may you find the support and acceptance you need as you face a future filled with challenges!
Thanks everyone for all the warm welcomes! c:

It's nice to see I'm not alone on these feelings! I completely agree with broken1 that those who love us need support too, but I just don't understand. I don't feel those site really help the cause or actually support. I feel like it's only filled with bad stigma and bad experiences. I mean it's good to get your pain out, but it isn't just that. What they're saying really won't help those with BPD as well as those who are seeking help with loves ones that have it. I feel like if I tell someone I have struggle with BPD, that they will just run away. It's like just because someone had a bad experience with a person who has BPD doesn't mean that everyone is just the same and thus generalizing everyone who has it and there situations..

I feel like those people who are looking for help and advice with loves ones would have better luck here anyways. c:
Thanks for all the support here so far! :)
 
WakeOwl

WakeOwl

Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2015
Messages
6
Location
Canada
dailyhealth said:
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This EMPowerplus Q96 has been helping people suffering from Depression, ADD and ADHD, Addiction, Social Anxiety, Panic Disorders, Autism Spectrum Disorders, BPD, Brain Injury, Neuro Cognitive Impairment, Stress & Trauma, OCD, Asthma, High Blood Pressure, Migraines, Headaches, memory degeneration and many more, so it could solve multiple health challenges you are having.

Stop the suffering and get your life back.

Go to QSciences.com and learn about Q96
(Member ID 37756)

Can’t wait to hear your success story and then you can share it with others to help them!

You can click on my name on the Website and send me your contact info. I have some links and PDFs that this site will not allow me to share with you, but the information will be so helpful for you.
Thanks, that would actually be great and much appreciated. :)
 
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Jimny

Jimny

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 25, 2015
Messages
307
Location
Essex
That sounds very positive Dailyhealth.

I think there are far to many of the sites you mention Nightowl.
What the majority of those sites fail to mention is that although the people they are trying to 'help' often appear extremely bitter and full of blame. Many of them most likely have their own MH issues which they are failing to recognise in their continued cycle of blame.
Personally from my relationship we were two people who perhaps had never realised the extent of either of our conditions.
The relationship gave me the chance to fully see my own issues for what they were and I am thankful for that. It came at a price, I lost someone very special. In hindsight had we both had known and been open and honest about our issues there would have been a chance to work together.
I wish nothing but the best for that person.
Everybody makes mistakes, perhaps a true measure of someone is how they learn and grow from those mistakes. x
 
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