- Dec 8, 2019
i'm not even sure if this is the right part of the forum to post this as i'm not sure i would necessarily say i have depression now (i have in the past though) because now i feel like i can't even be bothered to be depressed because i don't care enough to be depressed. i've given up on life, i don't care about anything anymore. At times this feels oddly peaceful and calm but other times it feels empty and lonely and i just feel bored and i sometimes feel nothing at all, just emptiness. Sometimes i feel anxiety but that's only when i have to go out and face the world, i prefer to stay away from other people as much as i can now. I don't really find interest or enjoyment in anything anymore, i don't like reading, watching tv or movies. i still like listening to music but even that gets tiresome at times, i still enjoy food but then i always had an unhealthy relationship with food anyway, sometimes its the main thing i think about all day! When i get drunk i don't feel drunk in the same way i used to, i guess i have a very high tolerance for alcohol now.i'm not interested in Material things at all, they don't make me happy. Even as i write this i am feeling nothing much at all, i don't even know why i'm writing it, i know nothing will change how i feel now.