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I've created an other person in my mind

U

username99

New member
Joined
Jan 4, 2019
Messages
3
I've created a whole person in my head and I want to know if I'm weird for doing so.. And what does this say about me? Do more people do this?

So this person started as an imaginary friend. When I was a child I pretended my stuffed animals were alive and basically did everything I wanted to do but couldn't, like taking a trip around the world or be a pro at my fav sport at that time or such. I currently qualify as a grown up, haven't played with my stuffed animals since I was something like 12 years old, but there's this one personality that still lives within my mind. Every minute I'm on my own and not doing anything I think of adventures that he is going trough. I used to be able to separate myself from him. As I made him up, I changed things so I could deny he was me. Like made him a he while I'm a she, but because he's "dream me" there are a lot of similarities too. I also created a whole world around him. I've made up friends, relationships, I could describe the inside of his house... Thinking of how developed this "character" has become is freaking me out.

But lately he has become I and its creeping me out even more. Third person perspective has switched to first. When a person has been existing in your mind for probably over 8/9 years and you need to keep his story interesting for yourself, he's been trough some stuff... not all good. He started as the person who I wanted to be, but so much has happened to him that I no longer want to be him. But I feel like I am becoming him. As in, I feel like what happens to him also happens to me. Like a weird deep kind of affection. I sometimes zone out for hours thinking of his life.

Also here's a strange thing that happened: I'm a person who only drinks occasionally and I've never been hungover. Not even after being seriously drunk. About two months ago something happened to him in his story that made him unable to drink alcohol without serious repercussions and ever since then I've been unable to drink more then two beers without having a (mildish) asthma attack lasting for the next few days. I've never was asthmatic before. Probs weird coincidence though..

I don't know what to do with him.. or myself.. or my mind.. or whatever.. I'm so confused, writing this down made me realise how strange this is. wtaf brain.
 
Z

ziedite

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 11, 2013
Messages
302
Location
UK
Hi there...it sounds like you're in a complicated mental state right now... and we all would be too. I have zero experience with alternative personalities, but probably some others in the forum do, so lets see how they respond. But you are NOT insane or crazy. You are rightly confused and probably getting some professional help would be of benefit to you. Have you looked into that at all? Some of us (like me) have what we call a referee in our mind that we use to try and mitigate the confusion that we might face. The clinical term is auxiliary ego btw.

So stay strong and let us know what you need. Take care.
 
I

Ian Haines

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 5, 2012
Messages
153
Location
Merseyside, North West England.
You have created a "device"; a carrier from "a" to "b", emotionally, that makes coping easier. What you've then gone on to do is live your life inside that character and you and that character are now melting into each other...NOT GOOD, but not severely bad, either!

If all you created was company, that would be safe.

If what you've done is begin to let that created character dribble into your daily life and loiter, making choices and showing reactions that, while not being yours, are later adopted by you, you need professional help. That's not as drastic as it sounds...because, all you need to do is remember who created who/what, and take it back that far. Regain the original proportion (balance) of mutual control that you probably enjoyed far more when you first created your "device" person.

You're like a character in the film about "Body Snatchers", right now. Large pods are placed near the characters in the film and, as the person sleeps, the pod slowly takes the place of the sleeping person.

You're not "asleep" in general life, but you've created your OWN large pod right next to you. If that pod was an invented friend that you'd created, you'd be pretty horrified when it started to sprout tendrils and infiltrate your body and eventually take over your entire self. It sounds like you suspect that that is exactly what is happening to you, but with an invented other person, rather than a sinister pod lying next to you. Life is not a screenplay, however.

Get help to put that pod you created back where it should be, at a distance, but still there for you, and make sure you never get taken over by it. A professional might disagree if you tell them, however, that you will restore the original balance, but you refuse to let the character go. That decision is entirely down to what you want badly enough to keep, or want no more of badly enough to expel from your life.

This is a fascinating one! :) Don't barter with your device...you derive benefits from the device - it's not supposed to be the other way around.
 
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