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I've been lying to my therapist

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LookingOut

Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Switzerland
Hi everybody,

This is a bit awkward but I have been lying to my therapist about how bad my social anxiety is. Essentially, they are under the impression that I have made friends at uni, which I have not, really. I also think that I am much more confident around them than I am in other situations so they might have the impression that I have my social anxiety under control. I don't know how to bring this up because I feel embarrassed that I have been lying (or withholding information). Does anybody have a similar experience?
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
5,285
Location
England
The best thing about talking to a therapist is they are not there to judge us. You can really tell them anything and they will listen and support you. By not being honest you are not allowing yourself to get the right support for yourself. You could just say ' I think I have given you the wrong impression' and then say what is really going on. There is no need to cover up social anxiety. It is very common and understood by therapists.
 
L

LookingOut

Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Switzerland
You are right, thank you. I just have the feeling that it reflects badly on my character (because I have been lying) but I did it because I am embarrassed.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
5,285
Location
England
It does not make you a bad person. You did not give the full story because you were embarrassed and felt you may be judged. This is not the same as lying. Please do not worry about that. Therapists are used to people having to take time before opening up.
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
1,183
Location
nowhere
Don't ever be embarrassed. They can't help you unless you tell them the truth.
 
C

Coolname

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2019
Messages
663
Location
UK
Hi everybody,

This is a bit awkward but I have been lying to my therapist about how bad my social anxiety is. Essentially, they are under the impression that I have made friends at uni, which I have not, really. I also think that I am much more confident around them than I am in other situations so they might have the impression that I have my social anxiety under control. I don't know how to bring this up because I feel embarrassed that I have been lying (or withholding information). Does anybody have a similar experience?
I agree with the other comments. I had some therapy where I appeared confident, it was only when I disclosed that was because I needed a drink just to attend, that the therapist realised how much help I needed. There was no judgement or blame. Disclosure in therapy is good and it would be incredibly rare for you not to need time to build trust before being completely honest. I am sure your therapist has had similar disclosures before and will understand.
 
A

Azngrl

New member
Joined
Apr 23, 2020
Messages
3
Location
Vancouver, BC Canada
LookingOut, I had a similar situation as you. I had a therapist in the past who I felt I had to put on a front and come across as "put-together", like my life was doing good when it really wasn't. For me, the reason I didn't talk about how bad my problems really were was because I wanted to look good in front of my therapist. I felt she was judging me sometimes and that she would judge me if I told her the truth of how bad my problems were. I suggest you ask yourself how comfortable and trusting you really are with your therapist. Because if you have to hide how bad your social anxiety really is, because you said you are embarrassed, then maybe it's not the right therapist you're seeing. It took me a many years to find a therapist that I felt comfortable and completely trust. So, I know for me when I hid the truth, it was because I wasn't comfortable with the therapist and I felt they judged me. Maybe that's the same for you?
 
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