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I've been feeling down lately and need to change my life.



New member
Sep 6, 2014
Hi everyone, This is my first post. basically i'm hating my life right now. I've been for the past 2 years, well i don't hate life I just want a better life. I guess most of us feel this but i m struggling to stay optimistic.
My dream is to save money so I can travel & start a travel blog. but there are a few things stopping me (1) i'm 31 years old & feel i'm too old (2) i weigh 30 stone. i'm on a diet & have lost 4 stone the past year & i'm persevering but it just gets me down. i'm also unemployed so i can't really save much money. I live at home with my mum but right now i'm looking after her while she's recovering from a stroke and a serious arm injury (she's doing much better now).
I just feel like i'm trapped and all I want to do is to escape and travel. I have never left the UK (i haven't even got a passport) and haven't been on holiday since i was 14 with my parents which is due to cost basically and i have back pain which is caused by my weight. whenever i'm standing/walking i'm just in so much pain (nothing can be done apart from lose weight) so all these things just added together are bringing me down, not always but whenever i stop to think about my life I just wanna burst out crying.
I know there are people with worse problems out there and i also know that i can change and it's down to me but i m starting to get really unhappy with my life right now and i really don't want to get any worse cos i feel if i do it will start a spiral and get out of control. I also don't feel like i can talk to anyone about it, male pride and all that you know. So basically all i'm asking is for some advice if anyone has any.
Thank you it feels good to just let everything out even if it is on a screen lol It just feels like i'm never going to change my life as there is so many things holding me back.


Well-known member
Aug 1, 2018

So sorry to hear you are down about things. But I have to say kudos to you! I go to the gym fair regularly since i was 26 (37 now and injured a fair bit), but I have so much respect for people who are making life choices and changes to drop weight. 4 stone is a really great achievement! It may not be crash diet, but it is steady and steady is much better than suddenly losing loads of weight. Many who do this struggle to keep it off.

How are you losing weight? Is it through diet, exercise a group? Maybe try some activities a bit. I know you say walking is hard, but maybe some cycling at the gym with a friend or training partner? Then add in a few weight sessions, just slow and steady until you can begin on the stepper.

Sounds as if you are doing a lot at the moment with your mum and everything. Have you looked in to carer's allowance or benefits? Unemployment sucks both from a financial perspective and a mood one (I have only recently managed to get back on to the market and fingers crossed I start an new contract next week). Have you looked in to any jobs where you could work from home, even part time? Family is important and helping your mum is more than many would do, so don't feel bad about this, but do reach out to social services and other support groups. They are out there.

You've said you want to start a travel blog and with your current situation it is hard. Traveling is good (I wish I had done more). You're not too old. One of my best mates saved, did a TEFL course and left the UK for Spain when he was 32. Found a job teaching English for a bit, made friends and then found a perm job. He;s 38 now and isn't coming back. Another at 31 went to Vietnam on TEFL for a year. Perhaps this is something to look in to?

Whilst it's not travelling have you thought about just writing a blog about anything? Even if you don't have any real readers? Something to fill your time, practices writing, taking pictures or similar. I've always wanted to build a website for motorcycles and have finally gotten a free Wix page and am slowly learning how to do it.

Change is hard and not easy. Sometimes I look back at my life and think I've messed it ally up and missed so many opportunities. But we can't change those, but we can change where we go. You are trying and that counts for everything. I've worked in the city and seen so many people who earn good money, but are trapped and HAVE to do their jobs, plus they have no impetus to make a change.

You are losing weight, taking care if your mum and have dreams. Those are all good! Chin up and keep going.

Posting on here is cathartic and no one judges you like on other forums. It has helped me a lot when I was/am low and I do try to help where I can. If you ever want to chat then just drop me a message. :)


Oct 9, 2018
Northern Ireland
Wow congratulations on shifting 4 stone thats a huge achievement well done. Just stay strong and it will be another 4 stone and another then before you realise it you will be an athlete.

Also you are never too old to achieve your dream many people have worked all their lives and are now retired and starting to travel blog.

Keep focused and keep the chin up. You are doing fantastic so far! Focus on the positives. Also looking after your mum - you are a legend !!!