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I've been dumped again because of my bipolar

Kos

Kos

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Joined
Jan 9, 2010
Messages
31
Location
Glasgow
My bipolar has ruined another potential relationship, because of my obsessiveness to early on, because I was watching him sleeping.

It hurts so much, every guy I meet rejects me, I was so happy and now I'm feeling the lowest of the low. I can't go on anymore, it hurts so much. I have no one. I feel so lonely I wish I was dead. I don't want to live my life anymore because I've nothing more ahead of me other than more hurt.
 
W

warriorprincess

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Apr 14, 2010
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1,306
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Cool St, Coolville
please don't think like that. everybody has a somebody you just gotta find the right person. If you don't believe me - take a look at all the posts on here from people with loving partners. and even they don't understand all the time, but it can be done - it's just a case of the right person, and if they aren't willing to persevere and get to know how wonderful you are, then they aren't worth worrying about. I know it's all cliche's but it's true. xxx
 
A

Affective

Well-known member
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Nov 5, 2009
Messages
414
My bipolar has ruined another potential relationship, because of my obsessiveness to early on, because I was watching him sleeping.

It hurts so much, every guy I meet rejects me, I was so happy and now I'm feeling the lowest of the low. I can't go on anymore, it hurts so much. I have no one. I feel so lonely I wish I was dead. I don't want to live my life anymore because I've nothing more ahead of me other than more hurt.
This is hard for me to say because my future is looking a bit strange. However I have decided to stop taking medication, this has made things worse. I'll tell you a story of mine, and maybe it will give you hope.

About a year ago I went to a safe house to have a rest from all my problems. I was a virgin, who was very bad with females. I then met this girl who had been living there for a while because of her depression due to her physical health problems. We clicked instantly. We'd talk all day and joke, she lifted my mood. Then when sorta came out of the house at the same time. We then decided to be in a relationship together. It was one of the happiest times of my life, we'd go out everywhere together and hate it when we were apart.

She then started to become very resentful to me. She'd say things like" 'who in their right mind hears voices!?'. I thought it was my fault things were going so bad. She triggered one of my episodes and when our relationship ended I wanted to take my life because I thought I'd never find love again.

The point is, it wasn't my fault, she was self destructive and didn't really love/like me, for me. There is someone out there for you, don't base your life on one person. My social worker told me it's best to have a balance. Keep a balance of friends, family, relationships and hobbies. So when one temporarily collapses, you have something to fall back on.

You also have to keep in mind, that people with mental illnesses can have successful relationships and have children. They can be brilliant parents and have so much potential in this world. Kos, believe me, I think you have only recently in the past few years been diagnosed (if I'm wrong, please correct me) and some people it might take longer to learn how to manage your problems.

I used to be very obsessive. I used to constantly text and call girlfriends, and if they didn't reply I'd become paranoid and anxious. However if you weigh the pro's and con's of the situation you'll find that your paranoia is wrong. I'll give you an example:

An ex girlfriend of mine has turned her phone off and I couldn't get through to her. I thought she had been hurt and I'd never see her again. A few hours later she phoned me and told me her phone had run out of power. Now if I'd been reasonable I could have come to that conclusion myself.


Hope this has helped my friend. :grouphug:
 
L

LilMissLost

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Apr 20, 2010
Messages
125
Location
Essex
Things will get better Kos, it is a case of meeting the right person like warriorprincess says, then when you do they wont mind you watching them sleeping, i had a rough ride with guys like you, but i was just meeting all the wrong men, when i finally decided i was done with men, the right one came along and i wasnt expecting it at all! Hang on in there and chat to people on here so you dont feel so lonely, i have a lovely partner but i still feel lonely sometimes so i chat to people who understand on forums. Take care and believe things will get better :hug: x
 
S

shell

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Apr 9, 2010
Messages
175
Location
Lincolnshire
Hi

Hiya, Please don't give up hope. I don't really see you did anything wrong most men should be flattered you find them attractive that you look at them , even if it is when they sleep. He is so not worth it hunni.You deserve better, he should have been more understanding. :flowers: Shell x
 
W

warriorprincess

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Apr 14, 2010
Messages
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Location
Cool St, Coolville
yeh i was gonna say that too - i would be so touched if i woke to find someone looking at me sleeping. My ex once took a picture of me asleep and it has to be the nicest thing he ever did through our 4 years together! some things work and some things dont and i also agree that when you stop looking, that's when love really finds you... all we can do is learn and try to improve on what we already know. and believe me you are so worth the effort - everyone is to that extent. and no one wants to be lonely of course, but it's not worth being with the wrong person as it's a waste of 2 precious lives. i hope this all makes sense and i'm not coming across as patronising or anything bad, just trying to share with you what i do know. Even if i don't always act upon my own advice (who does?!)
all the best to you xxx
 
B

Bradders

Member
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
10
My bipolar has ruined another potential relationship, because of my obsessiveness to early on, because I was watching him sleeping.

It hurts so much, every guy I meet rejects me, I was so happy and now I'm feeling the lowest of the low. I can't go on anymore, it hurts so much. I have no one. I feel so lonely I wish I was dead. I don't want to live my life anymore because I've nothing more ahead of me other than more hurt.
Hey chick, my bipolar was ruining my relationship with my GF but we worked through it so there is always light.

To finish you over watching him sleep is pretty petty imho and he didnt deserve you, please keep your head up, dont let your illness ruin your life, you will find someone who understands and loves you for you, it may take time but just take each day as it comes, if you dont think about it that person will find you when you least expect it.
 
Kos

Kos

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Joined
Jan 9, 2010
Messages
31
Location
Glasgow
Thanks everybody :) You all really cheered me up!!! I'm feeling soooo much better about it all know, it still hurts, but I reckon he was just using that as an excuse :)

Does anyone have any tips about starting a new relationship and not becoming too infatuated too soon??? Or ways to stop being so obssessive???

Thanks guys!!

Kos :)

:grouphug:
 
C

Charlie123

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Joined
Apr 17, 2010
Messages
48
Everything happens for a reason! You will meet the right bloke!
 
A

Affective

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Nov 5, 2009
Messages
414
Thanks everybody :) You all really cheered me up!!! I'm feeling soooo much better about it all know, it still hurts, but I reckon he was just using that as an excuse :)
The girl I told you about, that I was with. Whenever she had health problems and I did too at the same time, she'd use me as an excuse of her not being able to cope. So don't worry Kos, there are tons of similar morons out there, who aren't willing to put much in to a relationship just because the other has some problems.
Does anyone have any tips about starting a new relationship and not becoming too infatuated too soon??? Or ways to stop being so obssessive???
My advice to you would be, start off slow. Don't get too involved all at once. Get to know him, ask subtle questions, that reveal traits of his personality. Once you get to know them better, and if you believe they are right for you, allow your self slowly to become more involved. Such as being Bipolar. Before saying you have a mental illness, let them know how it affects you and what helps, so they can contribute to your recovery and prognosis in a positive manner. Allow them to know that, mentally ill doesn't always mean dangerous but rather your brain has didn't way of reacting to the world. I'd explain things like, the chemical imbalances in the brain and not that your possessed or something like that. As for being obsessive, as I previously mentioned, find out what things they like and that way you can know how much to engage in.
 
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A

AussieGirl

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Apr 29, 2010
Messages
54
Location
London
The more I read your posts the more you sound like me, I can be very very obsessive. If you're like me, and you obsess over other things too, then it's probably not new to you.

This is going to sound really lame, but to stop myself texting my partner all the time, I actually write the sms, read it, save it in my drafts, read it again, then delete it...if I've read it that many times and it probably doesn't need to be said, then there's no point sending it

As for watching him sleep - I love watching my partner sleep, that doesn't make you weird at all, that's just a guy being a jerk seriously...

Good luck xx
:grouphug:
 
D

Demon

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May 30, 2010
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Location
Glasgow
I've just been diagnosed bipolar and my relationship is under ultimate strain. I've got a son I love more than the world but sometimes I wonder if I could be a better dad if I got my head sorted on my own. My gf trying to help just makes me worse, and I feel guilty. She is willing to persevere but I don't know how happy I am and if I can keep going without cracking up. I'm probably depressing u even more, lol, sorry. At least ur not with someone like me, 2 bipolar bears fighting for fish in the one igloo hahaha just laugh for a few days and u'll forget him. You can still sit up and watch the sun rise, unless the birds singing does ur nut in like me, I'm listening to them now and it's bad crack. Insomniaaaaaaaarrrrghhhhhhh
wow, just read that back an I'm crap at advice when manic, catch u after it's 5 and I'M BRIGHT AS A BUTTON! NO!
 
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Blackholesun

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Apr 1, 2010
Messages
80
I've said this elsewhere on a bipolar discussion group and it caused all out war. So, to that ends please take this as my personal opinion, it may not appeal to all.

I truly feel that if you suffer from a mental illness then you need to find some one (to have a relationship) with the same or similar mental illness. The key to a relationship is understanding. If your partner does not understand you then your relationship will not stand a chance.

Not only that but 'normal' people see mental illness differently to those who suffer with one. They don't understand it because they don't need to. How the hell are you going to say to some one "I felt like jumping off of a roof because I could fly the other day" and them understand it if they have not felt the same way?

LOADS of my relationships have ended within a week. As soon as I start the constant calling and obsessive behavior they run a mile. I can't say I blame them. I mean shit, if I didn't have bipolar and was all cool and normal then I would be freaked out by it too.

I have personally made a vow that I will not enter another relationship unless I can meet some one with bipolar disorder. I just wouldn't want to be a burden to some one as I am not that selfish (and yes, I know how hard it must be to live with some one like myself. I have a mirror in my house and I constantly look in it to reflect).

As I say, my opinion from my experience.

Oh and I fall in love in about twenty minutes too. And the daftest part? I actually fucking mean it. Crazy eh?
 
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eternitybeckons

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Joined
May 31, 2010
Messages
18
Location
Cloud Cuckoo Land
Hi Blackholesun

I've just replied to another thread of yours elsewhere. I must say I agree with you totally about having a relationship with another person who is bipolar. AND I fall in love that quickly too. It's so intense too that it's almost a pain. I become absolutely obsessed with that person for weeks or months. Then almost as quickly, I fall out of love and the obsession ends.

I have only recently been diagnosed with bipolar rapid cycling with mainly euphoric and dysphoric mania. After many months of research on the web I have come to realise my hubby also has it. He agrees he has many of the symptoms and many that I don't have like suicidal tendencies, constant negativity and deep depression. Now that I understand him and he is beginning to understand me, our relationship is improving. It has been very volatile over the 20 odd years that we've been married. It's amazing we have stayed together really but now things are on the up I believe.

To Kos - Take Blackholesun's advice and look for someone with similar issues to yours. Join a bipolar support group and you're sure to find someone there. Good hunting. x
 

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