I've been away for a while.

H

Hugsrfree

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2016
Messages
17
Location
between my ears aparently
This is a re-introduction. I've been away for a few years, but my anxiety (GAD) is back with a vengeance. Panic attacks and self harm thoughts. I'm reaching out. My previous involvement helped by giving me something to focus on.
 
CelticTwilight

CelticTwilight

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
70
Location
Nocturnsville UK
Welcome back, I empathize over the stuff that has returned. Bloody horrid I know when we have gone through all it entails and gotten free.

I am glad that you can recall a time of focus and hope this is a good sign that you will know how to get it back easier this time with your added experience. I do know that it ain't just that simple for most of us mere mortals though.

I also remember very well my first relapse (if that is the correct word for it) came out of the blue whereas the initial illness had developed over a long time so for me they were relatively different experiences. The shock was difficult to handle as I had rebuilt my life brick by little brick, completely changed (or so I thought), gone back to work, towards the end of my degree then wallop! Fortunately it was much briefer and the progress I had made was not all wasted. After some panic I somehow managed to tell myself to put my life on hold - which again I acknowledge isn't always possible although in a way it is a sign of precisely that - then gradually started doing things bit by bit again without putting pressure on myself - something which I had been very guilty of in the beginning. I have lived life slower ever since and don't give a monkey's left wotsit what anybody thinks about that. You have to put yourself first, some me time is essential but don't have to be selfish in the process. I was always my own worst critic, became even moreso then suddenly realised this had been part of the problem all along. Hindsight eh. I am of course just one example but I hope this brief account helps in some way.

You too will have learned things about yourself some of which may be below the surface right now but (obviously) you remembered this site. I identified some recurring triggers and have tried quite successfully to remain more aware of them which I believe has limited the damage considerably. The first time I merely thought that I had changed largely because my circumstances improved and distracted me, the second time I really did change.
 
J

Jules5

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 27, 2019
Messages
1,383
Location
Florida
Welcome back to the forum. I hope you find it useful. Lots of great people on here. Love and hugs Jules
 
H

Hugsrfree

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2016
Messages
17
Location
between my ears aparently
Thanks to everyone for your welcome support.
I had surgery on my leg in February, the cure was worse than the problem! As I live on my own and had reduced mobility which dragged me down. It's only recently I feel any improvement.
My recent trigger was my car aquaplaning, spinning and me shooting through the shrubbery, flying off a big drop into a field, sliding backwards for what seemed forever downhill on wet grass. Remarkably, I didn't have a scratch and stepped out as if I'd stopped at the shops! The car was a write-off. (Two weeks ago today). Luckily no-one else involved.
Since then this anxiety has steadily taken hold. Same old symptoms, wake up in the morning, shaking like a leaf and the endless stomach churning feeling as if I'm none-stop falling all day long. So exhausting.
I get some solace from (feeling like this in the past) knowing it won't last forever, but it feels as if it will.
 
H

Hugsrfree

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2016
Messages
17
Location
between my ears aparently
Big news for me today. During a chat with a physiotherapist I mentioned I've always wanted to try Tai Chi. Astonishingly, she's enrolling me in a Tai Chi programme at a nearby health centre!
That's what I call a RESULT. I'll let you know how it goes.
 
daffy

daffy

Well-known member
Moderator
Founding Member
Joined
Dec 16, 2007
Messages
5,193
Location
hiding behind the sofa
Welcome back to the forum. Like you I took a while out but decided I needed some support. Glad that you’ve got on an exercise programme. Hope you’ll enjoy it
 
H

Hugsrfree

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2016
Messages
17
Location
between my ears aparently
Flattered to get the attention of so venerable member, 'daffy'.
One of the benefits of being here is the opportunity to share with folk with an understanding perspective. I feel it's important to be able to express feelings which can sometimes be so daunting. I have very few friends, but the ones I have are valuable in many ways. None of them identify with anxiety issues and say so. If it wasn't for the forum I'd feel guilty sharing the negativity with these friends. I've found in the past how destructive that can be.
 
S

Sarabi_Gyarados

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 20, 2019
Messages
171
Location
UK
Welcome back to the forum hugs. Sorry to hear you've had a rough time. I hope being back helps you!
 
TaurusLady

TaurusLady

Active member
Joined
Aug 2, 2019
Messages
36
Location
Birmingham
Hugs, thank you for your honesty, because many of us on here need to recognise the opportunities to express and talk about whatever comes to mind, whether small or great..
Those few friends may be invaluable to you now, but through here there are many more that will take you far!

Big hugs xx
 
H

Hugsrfree

Member
Joined
Mar 8, 2016
Messages
17
Location
between my ears aparently
Thanks for that, 'Lady'. I appreciate your kind words.
BIG news today.....within 19 days my insurance company settled my claim (re car accident) with no quibbles. After deductions I still got more than twice what I expected. Not what I'd call a shabby deal. You hear so many stories about grief with car insurance. No complaints here!
 
Top