It's unbearable today

SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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Aug 17, 2012
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The West Country
#1
I'm really struggling with how low i'm feeling. :low:

Yesterday was hard but I got through it, however I woke up today just not wanting to be here at all.
I'm not going to do anything to harm myself and yet that almost makes it more difficult, knowing that there isn't an escape from how terrible I feel.

I hope that my mood changes sooner rather than later because I don't have it in me to go through another episode. It's too painful.

And I don't have anybody I can really spend time with or talk to, so i'm alone with these horrible feelings.

What can I do to make it through? I just want the pain to stop.
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
#2
hello x
i hate to see you struggle so
you are such a good person
you say you want the pain to stop ,and i promise it will

you just have to hold on but you can get through this ,you have many friends here who want to help

have turned PM's off so can't offer one to one support but am here for you
lots of love
Lu x
 
T

Turandot

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Spain
#3
Just accept these episodes. These episodes are not YOU. It's just something you feel. Accept them the same way you accept a storm.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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#4
I’m totally with Fairy Lu on this one... I’m sure you’ll make it through whatever lies ahead, and that that too will end and you will feel better again.

Sending you many good thoughts and hugs :hug:

This is a poem I often think about in these cases... it’s called The Guest House and it’s by Rumi.

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
 
Last edited:
write

write

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stuck
#6
Thinking of you Somerset. Is so exhausting going through this, feel for you very much, sorry I know that doesn't really help you. Be as kind to yourself as you can xx
 
Anon_21

Anon_21

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#7
Hey Somerset, sorry you are so low. Sometimes when I have no choice but to wait for it to pass, I engage in a marathon of distraction. Read, watch tv, clean...thats what helps me get thru it Hope you are better soon :hug:
 
exyz

exyz

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#8
(((Somerset)))
Thinking of you, wish we could come and sit with you . We would be very quiet and not a nuisance.
Kerome could make good coffee and read us some more lovely poems .
Love to you :)
 
Mayflower7

Mayflower7

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#9
Hi SS,
I'm sorry your struggling, always here to listen. You can PM me anytime.
Hope you feel better very soon.
Take care
 
M

Meadow Cat

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#10
I know how you feel about not thinking you have the strength to go through another episode. I know that i can have a medication review and that a change should end the episode eventually, but the worst part is that suffering in between. I feel i can never go to the doctor unless i am visibly unwell.

How are you managing to cope with the days? How did you get through today? Sometimes it is impossible to answer but you did get through and each day you start afresh. I view episodes as my version of work but it is the hardest job i have ever had and there is always risk to life. You can do it! I don't think it is ever as bad as the first time because you know what to expect. Experience.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

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The West Country
#11
Thank you so much everyone for your hugs and kind words, it really means a lot.

Even though I have periods where I don't post here, it's so touching to know that when I do pop back, you're all still so thoughtful. :grouphug:

I'm still low but thankfully the desperation has eased a bit today, and i'm managing to cope a bit better than I was.

You're all so wise and it was very helpful to read the responses I got. So thanks again.
 

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