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it's been so long

D

doyouhavethetime

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2020
Messages
15
Location
everywhere and nowhere
the last time i SHed was nearly a year ago.
i was doing so well. at least i thought i was.
admittedly, it has been tempting from time to time to restrain myself from falling back into such an awful habit, but this time the urge is stronger than i've ever felt before.
i couldn't live with myself if i messed up again.
if i broke my streak.
if i tore everything that i've built up for a year down in one night.
but i can't see a way around it.
i can't see anything,
i feel lost and blind.
and i don't know what to do.
 
Tawny

Tawny

Well-known member
Forum Guide
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
4,430
Location
England
Just start again today.
You have done so well to keep well but clearly everything felt too much.
What caused it? Not enough rest?
 
TheSadnessWillLastForever

TheSadnessWillLastForever

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 28, 2019
Messages
51
Location
Ohio
It's okay to make mistakes in your journey to recover from SH, relapse it inevitable, I'm not saying you should just give in and do it but if you can't fight the urge anymore it's okay! Just be sure to get back up again and keep fighting!
 
D

doyouhavethetime

Member
Joined
Nov 3, 2020
Messages
15
Location
everywhere and nowhere
Just start again today.
You have done so well to keep well but clearly everything felt too much.
What caused it? Not enough rest?
i'm not sure, but i know school has played a major role in my decline. i've been doing everything virtually for this semester and i've lost all motivation to keep my grades up.
i'm also having a ton of family issues, so that could also be it.
it's just a lot of everything, if that makes sense.
 
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