- Jun 26, 2014
- Avenue Q in the US
And also when the only person who I considered my friend and made me feel normal for once in my life started to hate me and abandon me. I was okay with my mom's passing as she was sick for a year and a half but being abandoned hurt a lot. Especially since it keeps happening to me. This person even promised me that he wouldn't abandon me like every one else had excluding family. I did so many favors for him and I still have kept my promise to him and never told anyone about the secrets he told me. He motivated me to try to improve my life and no one understands that. I often think that the reason people keep abandoning me after two weeks is because of me and that I'm not special enough to have someone like me and that I should force myself to lose weight so people will like me and that scares me. No one understands how awful it feels that no one will contact you on dating websites and when you DO get a message from a person, how much worse you feel when after two weeks on average, they suddenly stop talking to you and act as if you don't exist. I even water six months of my life before waiting by the phone for a guy who promised me that he would call never happen. And do you know how awful it feels that the only way people will go out on a date with you is if someone else secretly pays them to do it? I just want someone to like me. But apparently anything that I want is TOO good for me. Even happiness seems to be too good for me and it seems I was meant to never have it.