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Its been a while

megirl

megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
7,737
Location
NZ
I have no idea when I posted last a lot has changed.
My husband and i split up, just out of the blue he decided that he wanted to end our marriage, He didnt want to consider a temporary separation or counselling...so anyway here we are 3 months on.
A few days after his decision to end our marriage i just couldnt cope i felt so defeated overwhelmed and I couldnt see how I could live without him.
I ended up in the psych ward I felt like I couldnt carry on and I felt so scared as I truly believed that their was no reason for me to carry on.
I truly believed that I was a burden to everybody I am sick of people worrying about me because that causes me more pain I wanted out.
My support worker who had only seen me a couple of days earlier and was so concerned he admitted me and on admission the pdoc said that she was considering placing me under the mental health Act. I knew that was coming and I actually felt safe being admitted and i got all the support and help I ended up in there for 4 weeks.
So we sold our house I found a wee house for me and the dog who I have been able to keep.
I love him to bits. (the dog!!) :)
Its only now that I realise how controlling my ex had become. Constantly criticising me..complaining about my stomach making gurgling sounds. Blocking his ears while i am drinking my cup of tea because sometimes i might swallow a bit loudly.
Complaining if he needs to put petrol in my car for instance. The list goes on and on
When I was on the ward the nurses were blown away by some of his behaviour towards me, My support worker and pdoc were like how come we didnt know about all this I guess I couldnt see how bad his behaviour had got and I guess i was in denial.
Its obvious now the reason that my mental health hasnt been that great.
It still feels strange that I didnt tell anybody I guess i just didnt want to see it.
So living on my own is a new experience but doing ok
I do miss my ex but certainly not his attitude towards me
I do have bad and good days but thats to be expected i suppose
 
tiltawhirl

tiltawhirl

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 30, 2010
Messages
5,043
Location
Bristol, TN/VA, USA (near mountains and 6 hours fr
I am so sorry you have had to go through this.

so much of your story mirrors my own. Let yourself grieve. And, when you can, celebrate your life borne of freedom where you don't have to be thoughtful of your mate in everything..it's all your choice.

And don't be a stranger! I've missed you.
 
Foxjo

Foxjo

Well-known member
Moderator
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
7,092
Location
Teesside
Im so sorry you are going through this.
Hugs to you
Fox
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,504
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Dear megirl,
I was glad to see your update. I'm glad you have your own little house with the dog. Some day you will meet someone capable of being a best friend/buddy/pal and you will have your radar up for negative patterns. But give yourself a year off at least. That's what they recommend at the relationship addiction meetings.

:hug5:
 
megirl

megirl

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
7,737
Location
NZ
Gosh I miss this place, havnt been here for so long
So everythings going ok. Few months back broke my arm it was May when i broke it, it hasnt healed so now I need an operation.
My husband so broke my heart it devastated me really 100% believed I couldnt carry on. But here I am.
Its quite scary to think that I was so close. However saying that I have taken multiple overdoses ending up in ICU having to be on a ventilator i have had two times where I crashed. Death isnt reversible once its done its done. Life can always get better.
So my husband well, ex-husband now has been around a few times doing some jobs for me I havnt asked him hes just offered.

And tilt
Hes cut trimmed some trees for me, cut a couple of old bushes down a few things like that. May be its another way of controlling me i arent sure.
Thought well just let him do it.
I have been seeing my support worker and psychologist once a week.
The psychologist has been going on about my eating and weight I have lost. Which actually triggers me not too eat. Not good I guess i am an adult so maybe I should just tell her to leave my weight out of it.
Surely i arent the only one this happens too. Talk about it and it gets worse.
But anyway I am just on a benefit at the moment hoping once my arm has healed I can start looking for a job have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life,
Feel bit in limbo at the moment guess we all get that at times

And Tiltawhirl, yeh sorry you have been through this also.
Interestingly I havnt had the urge to drink and/or overdosing didnt realise what an effect my husbands behaviour and negativity was having on me
 
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